Finding Balance

[LMNO]

Some bosses talk about "work/life balance", and use it to try to get you to work late, and off the books. They stress family, and decompressing, and "recharging", but what they really want to do is make sure you're committed to the company, you'll work over the weekend, you'll put in the extra hours. 

Your responsibility is to take that control back. "Work/life balance" means "how much work do you have to do to live the life you want?"  If you're comfortable living in a shitty apartment with an all-Ramen diet in order to spend your time painting, then you need a job that will give you flexibility in your hours, and requires the minimum amount of attention needed so you can get out and go back to your easel and palette.  If you want a condo and a car and nice meals, then you need a job that will provide for that. 

Sure, sounds like nothing new. But people don't DO this. They consider "work"and "life" to be the SAME DAMN THING. They get a job, make some money, then work harder, get more money, and soon they're working so fucking hard they've forgotten what they wanted the money FOR.  Everyone WANTS, but they don't know WHY they want.  Believe it or not, comfort comes cheap.  

Figure out what you want to be doing when you're not working. That's your price point.  Look for jobs that will allow you the freedom, in both time and money, to do what you want to do.  Then, of course, you have to get off your ass and actually do it. But that's a different topic. 

[Note: this post was apparently written from a perspective of privilege. I know there are some people for whom the concept of "choosing a job" is an impossibility. Apologies.]

[Nephew Twiddleton]

At the moment i have the ideal job for what i want to do. Theres just one snag. It pays me about 100 less a week than what i need. And about 250 less than i would need to ideally start accruing money. So ill have to find a way to balance more.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I do know that if I go more than 5 days without going to work, I get depressed.

But I think that's because of adrenaline withdrawl.

[LMNO]

There's always roof surfing and/or trolling 4th Avenue.

[Kai]

I recall Randy Pausch's famous Last Lecture, where he talks about the difference between time and money. Money can be regained; it won't be immediate, but it can be done. Time, however, is only limited. He said, "If students come to me wondering whether they can spend the money to go to school, I tell them to get out of my office. If they come to me asking whether it is worth their time, then we talk."

I figured it out a few days ago: If we just throw out an average life span number, say, 85 (I know, it's a guess; deal with it), and subtract my age, and divide that by four, and figure out the percentage of time the next four years is to the rest of my remaining life, well, I guess at about 7%. Without contingencies I can't predict, the amount of time I have lined up to get my PhD is about 7% of my remaining lifetime.

So, I have to ask myself, is going back to grad school, working on insect systematics, is that really what I want to be spending majority share of 7% of the rest of my life doing? Is it worth that limited time? Well, fuck yes of COURSE IT IS! I remember one of my master's program advisors asking me, "Why are you here?" And I didn't really have an answer, but he told me, "you're here to /have fun/. Because if you're not having fun, it's not worth your time."

And really, it isn't. Bitch and moan about money all I want, it's not worth my time to spend the next four years working at a restaurant because it's financially safer, because I have free housing, because it will allow me to pay off my loans quicker. It's a total waste of those four years in the sense I can never get them back. Ever.

But there's still the issue of balance in that. Yes, graduate school is helluva fun, but if I try to do 12 hour days for more than a couple days in a row, I burn out hard. One of my advisors (different advisor this time) told me "you know, the top tear researchers spend upwards of 60, 70 hour weeks working, so you should really consider that schedule". Now, arguments about work period length and productivity aside, this is not a bright idea for other reasons. Namely, such a life consists entirely of one thing. Which is probably much like eating pizza for every meal. Sure, you get the necessary amounts of calories and most other nutrients, but eventually you end up fat and sedentary, which not only lowers total happiness but raises that 7% to maybe 20%, 30% or more. I am completely unwilling to compromise on a 40 hour workweek. I may read and write and will definitely learn outside that timeframe, but I will not spend more than that in laboratory marathon. 20 hours for whatever I owe the research assistantship, and 20 hours for everything else. 8 hours a day will be for sleep. The rest is to actually enjoy myself and not feel ashamed of that. And it's perfectly fine for me to demand this; it's my life after all, my limited time, my "sexually transmitted disease which is invariably terminal."

[LMNO]

That's a really good point. I was trying to think about the rare few who have jobs doing what they love-- and you nailed it. Even when I have an entire day to write, mix, or play music- which are things I can lose myself in for hours- it isn't self-sustainable. I have to walk away at a certain point. Even passions have their limits.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

If you lose track of time, you're doing the right thing. If you keep looking at the clock and counting down to when you can GTFO, run.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Something else that stumps me is people who pay for a fuckload of cable channels and are either not home or too tired to watch more than an hour or so.

[Kai]

That's a really good point. I was trying to think about the rare few who have jobs doing what they love-- and you nailed it. Even when I have an entire day to write, mix, or play music- which are things I can lose myself in for hours- it isn't self-sustainable. I have to walk away at a certain point. Even passions have their limits.

It's not sustainable. Even if you are able to do it and not burn out, that's probably because you have an obsession. And obsessions generally lead to worse things than burn out; I can recover from burn out with some rest, but not so easily from the inevitable psychological addiction within extended obsession.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Some bosses talk about "work/life balance", and use it to try to get you to work late, and off the books. They stress family, and decompressing, and "recharging", but what they really want to do is make sure you're committed to the company, you'll work over the weekend, you'll put in the extra hours.

Your responsibility is to take that control back. "Work/life balance" means "how much work do you have to do to live the life you want?"  If you're comfortable living in a shitty apartment with an all-Ramen diet in order to spend your time painting, then you need a job that will give you flexibility in your hours, and requires the minimum amount of attention needed so you can get out and go back to your easel and palette.  If you want a condo and a car and nice meals, then you need a job that will provide for that.

Sure, sounds like nothing new. But people don't DO this. They consider "work"and "life" to be the SAME DAMN THING. They get a job, make some money, then work harder, get more money, and soon they're working so fucking hard they've forgotten what they wanted the money FOR.  Everyone WANTS, but they don't know WHY they want.  Believe it or not, comfort comes cheap. 

Figure out what you want to be doing when you're not working. That's your price point.  Look for jobs that will allow you the freedom, in both time and money, to do what you want to do.  Then, of course, you have to get off your ass and actually do it. But that's a different topic.

[Note: this post was apparently written from a perspective of privilege. I know there are some people for whom the concept of "choosing a job" is an impossibility. Apologies.]

This is why I make sammiches part time. It gets me out of the house, I pick my hours, and I make some cash. Then spend the rest of the time with  books, music, and yarn.

Bo-yah!

[Placid Dingo]

A lot of this sounds like the Sex and Cash theory I read a few years ago.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

A lot of this sounds like the Sex and Cash theory I read a few years ago.

That's fucking scary.

If I took a shit job, all anybody wants you for here is nights.

And nights are when I make money.

FUCK.

[Placid Dingo]

A lot of this sounds like the Sex and Cash theory I read a few years ago.

That's fucking scary.

If I took a shit job, all anybody wants you for here is nights.

And nights are when I make money.

FUCK.

Scary why? What's the problem with timing?

[Epimetheus]

That's a really good point. I was trying to think about the rare few who have jobs doing what they love-- and you nailed it. Even when I have an entire day to write, mix, or play music- which are things I can lose myself in for hours- it isn't self-sustainable. I have to walk away at a certain point. Even passions have their limits.

It's not sustainable. Even if you are able to do it and not burn out, that's probably because you have an obsession. And obsessions generally lead to worse things than burn out; I can recover from burn out with some rest, but not so easily from the inevitable psychological addiction within extended obsession.

Wait, are you guys talking about something more than just simple exhaustion? I can understand getting worn out from doing a lot of what you love, just because any activity consumes energy, but as far as getting to a point where you don't want to do it any more (temporarily) - not sure I'm with you on that.
Does that mean I'm obsessed?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

A lot of this sounds like the Sex and Cash theory I read a few years ago.

That's fucking scary.

If I took a shit job, all anybody wants you for here is nights.

And nights are when I make money.

FUCK.

Scary why? What's the problem with timing?

I get a lot of calls at night compared to daytime.

If I took a regular job, I'd lose customers.

It's an "either/or thing", not a "both".