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Several times a month, I will be in a store aisle reaching for something and feel a hand going up the inside of my thigh. When I turn around to find myself alone with a woman, and ask her if she would prefer me to hold still so she can get a better feel for the situation, oftentimes she will act "shocked" claiming nothing had happened, it must be somebody else...

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The Gospel According To Roger

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, July 09, 2012, 05:50:45 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#45
July 12, 2012, 03:08:30 PM
My boss has now insisted that I go to "Anger Management" classes, on the company dime.  The bastard accused me of having "mood swings", if you can believe it.  I stated that I am not angry, but that everyone else around me is.

"Because you make them that way."

"I can't MAKE anyone do anything, boss."

"Still, you need to go."

"So when do I report to my reeducation camp?"

"DAMMIT, ROGER!"

"Oh, are you coming with me?"

"GET OOOOOOUUUUUT!"

Well, anyway, it seems that my behavior is not in what is considered to be the socially acceptable range.  This puzzles me, because the "socially acceptable range" seems to be "Door mat".  I am not pissed off about this, because it occurred to me last time he "suggested" this, that when I go to these classes, I will be surrounded by loads of easily-angered people.

Obviously, this is the working of a higher power.  I am being sent by Eris - by proxy, IE, my boss - to go minister to the needy.  These people need my help, and as a Holy Man™, I can see no alternative but to go forth and fill them with Holy Wrath™.

You have to have a laugh, right?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#46
July 12, 2012, 03:24:51 PM
I did have a laugh at that while walking down the hall which caused someone to smile at me.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Anna Mae Bollocks

#47
July 12, 2012, 03:30:28 PM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 12, 2012, 01:58:30 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 12, 2012, 03:29:18 AM
TDRR - permission to repost, with due credit?

Go ahead.

Thanks!

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 12, 2012, 03:08:30 PM
My boss has now insisted that I go to "Anger Management" classes, on the company dime.  The bastard accused me of having "mood swings", if you can believe it.  I stated that I am not angry, but that everyone else around me is.

"Because you make them that way."

"I can't MAKE anyone do anything, boss."

"Still, you need to go."

"So when do I report to my reeducation camp?"

"DAMMIT, ROGER!"

"Oh, are you coming with me?"

"GET OOOOOOUUUUUT!"

Well, anyway, it seems that my behavior is not in what is considered to be the socially acceptable range.  This puzzles me, because the "socially acceptable range" seems to be "Door mat".  I am not pissed off about this, because it occurred to me last time he "suggested" this, that when I go to these classes, I will be surrounded by loads of easily-angered people.

Obviously, this is the working of a higher power.  I am being sent by Eris - by proxy, IE, my boss - to go minister to the needy.  These people need my help, and as a Holy Man™, I can see no alternative but to go forth and fill them with Holy Wrath™.

You have to have a laugh, right?

Yep.

Make the most of it, it could turn out to be a one-time thing.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

LMNO

#48
July 12, 2012, 05:17:37 PM
I really, really want to be in the room when they ask Roger to discuss his "feelings" with the group.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#49
July 12, 2012, 05:34:00 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 12, 2012, 05:17:37 PM
I really, really want to be in the room when they ask Roger to discuss his "feelings" with the group.

MOTHER OF JEBUS THAT NEEDS TO BE YOUTUBED
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#50
July 12, 2012, 05:44:09 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 12, 2012, 05:17:37 PM
I really, really want to be in the room when they ask Roger to discuss his "feelings" with the group.

Looking forward to it myself.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#51
July 12, 2012, 08:34:36 PM
The glory of this Holy Venture will be passed down through generations.

The Good Reverend Roger

#52
July 19, 2012, 02:59:40 PM
It's too bright outside; too hot.  Bad weather for a dead guy...If I venture outside, I'll be nothing but maggots and confused palo verde beetles in a matter of seconds.  Buzz buzz buzz, and I'd be stripped clean to the bone in minutes.

This isn't a particularly hospitable place for a walking corpse, I'll have you know.

But it's even less hospitable for outsiders.  Truck drivers tell me that it's like driving into the shadow of the valley of death.  One has permanent scarring on his hand, from gripping a rosary so hard it sliced his hand like a tuna.  He didn't seem to care..."I got home to my family, that's all that matters."

He asked me how I take it, living here.  I told him that I used drugs, but he was unimpressed..."I gobble pills like they was going out of style, and this stuff place still fucks my head up.

"Have you seen the gift shop, just outside of the diner?"

"No."

"They sell - or at least did - a Baby Jesus buttplug."

His face went sort of purplish with rage, and he stormed away.  Weird bastard.  He should have known where he was.  This is no place for the faint of heart...And no place for religious people.  I mean, think about it...If you're already DEAD, of how much use is religion?

Because
Jesus saves for somebody's sins, but not mine.
Jesus saves for somebody's sins, but not mine.
Jesus saves for somebody's sins, but not mine.




" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#53
July 19, 2012, 03:03:09 PM
Oh, I love the last bit of that!
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

LMNO

#54
July 19, 2012, 04:10:39 PM
Then you'd really like this.

The Good Reverend Roger

#55
July 19, 2012, 04:25:38 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 19, 2012, 04:10:39 PM
Then you'd really like this.

Can't see.  Billy Idol?   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#56
July 19, 2012, 04:30:31 PM
And then the 8' ball mill lube system failed, and the interlock didn't work.

The 6" wide, 8' diameter ring gear has chewed itself to copper filings.  Yeah, that's gonna cost about a week of frantic downtime, and about a quarter million dollars.

But that's how things go in Heck.  Everything works...Kinda.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#57
July 19, 2012, 04:35:57 PM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 04:25:38 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 19, 2012, 04:10:39 PM
Then you'd really like this.

Can't see.  Billy Idol?   :lulz:

Patti Smith.

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 04:30:31 PM
And then the 8' ball mill lube system failed, and the interlock didn't work.

The 6" wide, 8' diameter ring gear has chewed itself to copper filings.  Yeah, that's gonna cost about a week of frantic downtime, and about a quarter million dollars.

But that's how things go in Heck.  Everything works...Kinda.

Holy Hell.

The Good Reverend Roger

#58
July 19, 2012, 04:37:11 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 19, 2012, 04:35:57 PM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 04:25:38 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 19, 2012, 04:10:39 PM
Then you'd really like this.

Can't see.  Billy Idol?   :lulz:

Patti Smith.

Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 19, 2012, 04:30:31 PM
And then the 8' ball mill lube system failed, and the interlock didn't work.

The 6" wide, 8' diameter ring gear has chewed itself to copper filings.  Yeah, that's gonna cost about a week of frantic downtime, and about a quarter million dollars.

But that's how things go in Heck.  Everything works...Kinda.

Holy Hell.

Heck, actually.  Hell is 100 miles North.

And some people get the impression that where I work, shit is always blowing up or otherwise failing catastrophically.

Those people are correct.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#59
July 20, 2012, 04:44:25 AM
This thread is magnificent.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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