Would you like fries with that?: An allegory

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

So there once was this dude what ate a bite of steak. Fucking delicious. He knew right away he loved it. Pretty much everything this dude had ever wanted forever in the history of always. This steak was so good in fact that before he had even taken a second bite he knew he would, for the rest of his life, be dedicated to steak and steak alone. By the end of the year he concluded, he would open a restaurant and call it "The Big Fucking Delicious Steak, Yum!" And serve steak 24-7 to any and all comers. He was set. It was fate. Mark it true!

Then he had a second bite...

By the end of the year he had ruled out fried chicken, specialty donuts, gluten free cajun cuisine and late-night smoothie delivery, so left without any other ideas, he took out a second mortgage on the house and bought a turn-key McDonald's franchise in a depressed economic area.

He was now a restaurant owner just as he knew he would be all those months ago.

Dude didn't know the first fucking thing about running a restaurant, and it didn't help that where it was located it got robbed more than patronized. Within 6 months the business was shut and he was well on his way to foreclosure.

Moral of the story-McDonald's franchises are a poor economic investment. Lesson learnt!

[The Johnny]

Other than being a sad story, i dont get it.

Also, since when does McDonalds have real meat, or in any case, steak?

[hooplala]

So there once was this dude what ate a bite of steak. Fucking delicious. He knew right away he loved it. Pretty much everything this dude had ever wanted forever in the history of always. This steak was so good in fact that before he had even taken a second bite he knew he would, for the rest of his life, be dedicated to steak and steak alone. By the end of the year he concluded, he would open a restaurant and call it "The Big Fucking Delicious Steak, Yum!" And serve steak 24-7 to any and all comers. He was set. It was fate. Mark it true!

Then he had a second bite...

By the end of the year he had ruled out fried chicken, specialty donuts, gluten free cajun cuisine and late-night smoothie delivery, so left without any other ideas, he took out a second mortgage on the house and bought a turn-key McDonald's franchise in a depressed economic area.

He was now a restaurant owner just as he knew he would be all those months ago.

Dude didn't know the first fucking thing about running a restaurant, and it didn't help that where it was located it got robbed more than patronized. Within 6 months the business was shut and he was well on his way to foreclosure.

Moral of the story-McDonald's franchises are a poor economic investment. Lesson learnt!

The free market demanded it.

[Phox]

Other than being a sad story, i dont get it.

Also, since when does McDonalds have real meat, or in any case, steak?

Kinda the point, I think.

I'm not too sure, given the last line, but I figured up until that point that it was a story about poor decisions in general, and altering one's goals for the sake of a label or something similar.

[Deepthroat Chopra]

Other than being a sad story, i dont get it.

Also, since when does McDonalds have real meat, or in any case, steak?

They do here (real meat, that is), and probably in Argentina, but I thought the steak restaurant idea was thrown out after his second bite. I'm thinking the suggestion is that if you have an idea, don;t water it down to irrevellancy, or you'll end up, you know...

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

He knew exactly what he wanted to do after the first bite.

Something about the second bite made him totally lose focus and the rest was about trying to do a poor imitation of the original idea and descending into a toilet of FAIL.

Beyond that, I dunno.

[The Johnny]

Other than being a sad story, i dont get it.

Also, since when does McDonalds have real meat, or in any case, steak?

They do here (real meat, that is), and probably in Argentina

Interesting, last time i ate a Big Mac the meat didnt seem at all like meat, much less a steak (but then again, this is Mexico)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Is this an autobiography?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

...Or something to do with the soporific effects of food?

When I did commission sales, an old guy who'd done it a long time told me it was a waste of time to try to sell anything to people who were eating or drinking, no matter how interested they seemed. He said they never bought anything since they were "already taking care of themselves" and it turned out he was right. I think this is the real reason a lot of stores have signs that say "No food or drink allowed". 

"Ya gotta be hungry..." works as an allegory...

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Is this an autobiography?

At various points, yeah.

Should have probably cut it off after the first punch-line, but I'm a wicked bastard who wanted to make sure dude skinned his knees and learned absolutely nothing from the experience--that nobody did.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

... So there was in fact nothing to get?

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

He knew exactly what he wanted to do after the first bite.

Something about the second bite made him totally lose focus and the rest was about trying to do a poor imitation of the original idea and descending into a toilet of FAIL.

Beyond that, I dunno.

He knew exactly what he liked after the first bite. He drew a conclusion based upon that knowledge. The second bite changed his mind about what he liked, or how much he liked it, but by God that's not gonna effect that conclusion.

By the end, what he liked didn't even really matter (should I have picked a shittier example than McDonald's?), all that was important was that conclusion he was really, really super stoked on that one time.

...and it all went horribly wrong because it is my firm belief that investing in a McDonald's franchise makes poor economic sense.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

He knew exactly what he wanted to do after the first bite.

Something about the second bite made him totally lose focus and the rest was about trying to do a poor imitation of the original idea and descending into a toilet of FAIL.

Beyond that, I dunno.

He knew exactly what he liked after the first bite. He drew a conclusion based upon that knowledge. The second bite changed his mind about what he liked, or how much he liked it, but by God that's not gonna effect that conclusion.

By the end, what he liked didn't even really matter (should I have picked a shittier example than McDonald's?), all that was important was that conclusion he was really, really super stoked on that one time.

Do what you like, because if you don't do what you like, you won't like what you do.

And there's probably nothing shittier than McDonald's.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

He knew exactly what he wanted to do after the first bite.

Something about the second bite made him totally lose focus and the rest was about trying to do a poor imitation of the original idea and descending into a toilet of FAIL.

Beyond that, I dunno.

He knew exactly what he liked after the first bite. He drew a conclusion based upon that knowledge. The second bite changed his mind about what he liked, or how much he liked it, but by God that's not gonna effect that conclusion.

By the end, what he liked didn't even really matter (should I have picked a shittier example than McDonald's?), all that was important was that conclusion he was really, really super stoked on that one time.

Do what you like, because if you don't do what you like, you won't like what you do.

And there's probably nothing shittier than McDonald's.

Like what you like...don't like what you think about what you like, because if you do you'll end up liking what you think about something you don't like.

Man this chick is rad. I really like her. I want her to be my girlfriend. Damn having a girlfriend is rad. Any chick will do.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

He knew exactly what he wanted to do after the first bite.

Something about the second bite made him totally lose focus and the rest was about trying to do a poor imitation of the original idea and descending into a toilet of FAIL.

Beyond that, I dunno.

He knew exactly what he liked after the first bite. He drew a conclusion based upon that knowledge. The second bite changed his mind about what he liked, or how much he liked it, but by God that's not gonna effect that conclusion.

By the end, what he liked didn't even really matter (should I have picked a shittier example than McDonald's?), all that was important was that conclusion he was really, really super stoked on that one time.

Do what you like, because if you don't do what you like, you won't like what you do.

And there's probably nothing shittier than McDonald's.

Like what you like...don't like what you think about what you like, because if you do you'll end up liking what you think about something you don't like.

Man this chick is rad. I really like her. I want her to be my girlfriend. Damn having a girlfriend is rad. Any chick will do.

*light comes on* Got it.