Oh Noez! What about Teh Menz? -Patriarchy isn't a dude's friend EITHER!

[Juana]

So in regard to the, uh, OP...

I just got rejected for a massage that my buddy passed my way. I called the dude and he eventually stammered that they were looking for female therapists. What's troubling about this isn't sexism that prevents me from making sweet sweet money. It's that he could barely talk to me. He sounded like a lost puppy. He sounded like a really sheltered frat boy type who wandered into a lively gay bar by mistake. He was in fact a little terrified to clarify this situation.

I've encountered this before. There is an element of intense fear to be in the wrong place with regard to ones sex. I think this has directly to do with the sharp lines that seeks to divide what is male and what is female. This guys was so frightened to find himself potentially in the wrong side of that line. It causes confusion and lack of empathy and understanding.

That's how patriarchy hurts men. It forces us all to live by a certain standard. Even when it is absurd.

Yes. Which is very sad.

[The Dark Monk]

So in regard to the, uh, OP...

I just got rejected for a massage that my buddy passed my way. I called the dude and he eventually stammered that they were looking for female therapists. What's troubling about this isn't sexism that prevents me from making sweet sweet money. It's that he could barely talk to me. He sounded like a lost puppy. He sounded like a really sheltered frat boy type who wandered into a lively gay bar by mistake. He was in fact a little terrified to clarify this situation.

I've encountered this before. There is an element of intense fear to be in the wrong place with regard to ones sex. I think this has directly to do with the sharp lines that seeks to divide what is male and what is female. This guys was so frightened to find himself potentially in the wrong side of that line. It causes confusion and lack of empathy and understanding.

That's how patriarchy hurts men. It forces us all to live by a certain standard. Even when it is absurd.

Just to clarify: A dude gave you a free massage, and the dude that was supposed to give the massage didn't want to give it to you because you're a dude?

[LMNO]

Dude's a masseuse who got a referral from a dude to massage a dude, who acted like a total dude.

[The Dark Monk]

Ahhh! Makes sense!
A serious shame really.

TDM: Apologies for maybe oversimplifying but it makes life more fun and clear from time to time.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So in regard to the, uh, OP...

I just got rejected for a massage that my buddy passed my way. I called the dude and he eventually stammered that they were looking for female therapists. What's troubling about this isn't sexism that prevents me from making sweet sweet money. It's that he could barely talk to me. He sounded like a lost puppy. He sounded like a really sheltered frat boy type who wandered into a lively gay bar by mistake. He was in fact a little terrified to clarify this situation.

I've encountered this before. There is an element of intense fear to be in the wrong place with regard to ones sex. I think this has directly to do with the sharp lines that seeks to divide what is male and what is female. This guys was so frightened to find himself potentially in the wrong side of that line. It causes confusion and lack of empathy and understanding.

That's how patriarchy hurts men. It forces us all to live by a certain standard. Even when it is absurd.

That sucks. It sucks for you, and it sucks more... way more... for him. Patriarchy hurts men every time a man is afraid to give his buddy a hug, every time a man doesn't tell his friends he's hurting because he doesn't want to seem weak, every time a man doesn't get the care he needs because he's worried, even subconsciously, about seeming too "gay". It hurts little boys who want to play with dolls instead of guns, and it hurts little boys who are into sports and "boy stuff" and suppress their feelings instead of being open with them. Every mom who has a son knows that there may very well be a time... hopefully one that will pass... that their little boy will stop being cuddly and stop talking to them about their personal stuff because it's not cool, in this society, for a boy to be close to their mom. "Mama's boy" is an insult, in this society.

[Salty]

Nigel: yep.

LMNO: lol

Alty: You need to proofreads your posts so you don'ts sounds so much like Toki.

[The Dark Monk]

So in regard to the, uh, OP...

I just got rejected for a massage that my buddy passed my way. I called the dude and he eventually stammered that they were looking for female therapists. What's troubling about this isn't sexism that prevents me from making sweet sweet money. It's that he could barely talk to me. He sounded like a lost puppy. He sounded like a really sheltered frat boy type who wandered into a lively gay bar by mistake. He was in fact a little terrified to clarify this situation.

I've encountered this before. There is an element of intense fear to be in the wrong place with regard to ones sex. I think this has directly to do with the sharp lines that seeks to divide what is male and what is female. This guys was so frightened to find himself potentially in the wrong side of that line. It causes confusion and lack of empathy and understanding.

That's how patriarchy hurts men. It forces us all to live by a certain standard. Even when it is absurd.

That sucks. It sucks for you, and it sucks more... way more... for him. Patriarchy hurts men every time a man is afraid to give his buddy a hug, every time a man doesn't tell his friends he's hurting because he doesn't want to seem weak, every time a man doesn't get the care he needs because he's worried, even subconsciously, about seeming too "gay". It hurts little boys who want to play with dolls instead of guns, and it hurts little boys who are into sports and "boy stuff" and suppress their feelings instead of being open with them. Every mom who has a son knows that there may very well be a time... hopefully one that will pass... that their little boy will stop being cuddly and stop talking to them about their personal stuff because it's not cool, in this society, for a boy to be close to their mom. "Mama's boy" is an insult, in this society.

I wanted to address this in particular. This is something that has many reasons for it, I think as a child to call someone and mock them for being a Mama's Boy is to mock them for being childish and not growing up. It's another expectation from a different area I believe. It's almost, and these are COMPLETELY situational and conditional, kids trying to be independent from their parents and mocking those who are not. Comes with the territory of "Cut the Umbilical Cord". Odd that it is seen as a weakness even in small children to other children, which almost brings up the Breakfast Club argument of "WIN YOU HAVE TO WIN OR YOU'RE NOTHING!" It hurts, as someone who has experienced it when I was younger even when it was voiced to a mother who couldn't give less of a shit.

Adults however, it's kind of depressing really when someone feels they need to talk to someone and their mother who has been there their whole life and is the only stable one should be ridiculed.

I have mixed feelings about this, because at a certain age striving for independence is a good thing for development and solving issues on one's own for the most part and only going back for dire need is in itself growth. What that particular age is would be again, varied from situation to situation. "Momma I stubbed my toe kiss it" at 16 is an issue. However "Momma I can't pay for this all by myself, college is expensive can I borrow some money?" is different.

I know this is a bit of a derailment but would be a good topic to discuss on. As a new father lately I have been running what my parents have done around in my head, what others have done, what I think I would do and if it's an emulation I don't agree with. On top of beginning college this week, I again fear I will have no time.

Apologies for derailment and out of context.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Also, this is what that stupid fucking test had to say about me (I do not recommend wasting your time taking it)

S.A.G.E. Test Results

Your Raw Score is: -640, which indicates that overall you are Masculine

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Male person.

You appear to socialize in a masculine manner.

You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:
Female to Male Transsexual, who is a serious candidate for Gender Reassignment Surgery

Riiiight. 

WHAT. THE. FUCK???

OK, I had to take it.

S.A.G.E. Test Results

Your Raw Score is: 485, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Feminine

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.

You appear to socialize in a feminine manner.

You believe you have normal doubts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:
Normal doubts/curiosities about life as the opposite sex, but you generally accept your physical sex and gender identity.
NOTES:
•Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.

Androgynous brain trapped in a grrl. I think that was because I didn't go "OMG MATH AND TOOLS NO WAI"

[EK WAFFLR]

Also, this is what that stupid fucking test had to say about me (I do not recommend wasting your time taking it)

S.A.G.E. Test Results

Your Raw Score is: -640, which indicates that overall you are Masculine

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Male person.

You appear to socialize in a masculine manner.

You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:
Female to Male Transsexual, who is a serious candidate for Gender Reassignment Surgery

Riiiight. 

WHAT. THE. FUCK???

OK, I had to take it.

S.A.G.E. Test Results

Your Raw Score is: 485, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Feminine

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.

You appear to socialize in a feminine manner.

You believe you have normal doubts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:
Normal doubts/curiosities about life as the opposite sex, but you generally accept your physical sex and gender identity.
NOTES:
•Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.

Androgynous brain trapped in a grrl. I think that was because I didn't go "OMG MATH AND TOOLS NO WAI"

Your Raw Score is: -445, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Quite Masculine

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.

You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner.

You believe you have normal doubts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Male.

ANALYSIS:
Male to Female Crossdresser
NOTES:

You are in a statistical minority as a anallophilic crossdresser. Most crossdressers are heterosexual. Your motivation for crossdressing may be driven by the undirected nature of your sexuality, as a way to more fully explore the Female gender role.

See, I don't care about cars, huntin' or sports. I must be a crossdresser. 



....wait, what?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

TEH SKIRT WUZ NOT JOAK

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So in regard to the, uh, OP...

I just got rejected for a massage that my buddy passed my way. I called the dude and he eventually stammered that they were looking for female therapists. What's troubling about this isn't sexism that prevents me from making sweet sweet money. It's that he could barely talk to me. He sounded like a lost puppy. He sounded like a really sheltered frat boy type who wandered into a lively gay bar by mistake. He was in fact a little terrified to clarify this situation.

I've encountered this before. There is an element of intense fear to be in the wrong place with regard to ones sex. I think this has directly to do with the sharp lines that seeks to divide what is male and what is female. This guys was so frightened to find himself potentially in the wrong side of that line. It causes confusion and lack of empathy and understanding.

That's how patriarchy hurts men. It forces us all to live by a certain standard. Even when it is absurd.

That sucks. It sucks for you, and it sucks more... way more... for him. Patriarchy hurts men every time a man is afraid to give his buddy a hug, every time a man doesn't tell his friends he's hurting because he doesn't want to seem weak, every time a man doesn't get the care he needs because he's worried, even subconsciously, about seeming too "gay". It hurts little boys who want to play with dolls instead of guns, and it hurts little boys who are into sports and "boy stuff" and suppress their feelings instead of being open with them. Every mom who has a son knows that there may very well be a time... hopefully one that will pass... that their little boy will stop being cuddly and stop talking to them about their personal stuff because it's not cool, in this society, for a boy to be close to their mom. "Mama's boy" is an insult, in this society.

I wanted to address this in particular. This is something that has many reasons for it, I think as a child to call someone and mock them for being a Mama's Boy is to mock them for being childish and not growing up. It's another expectation from a different area I believe. It's almost, and these are COMPLETELY situational and conditional, kids trying to be independent from their parents and mocking those who are not. Comes with the territory of "Cut the Umbilical Cord". Odd that it is seen as a weakness even in small children to other children, which almost brings up the Breakfast Club argument of "WIN YOU HAVE TO WIN OR YOU'RE NOTHING!" It hurts, as someone who has experienced it when I was younger even when it was voiced to a mother who couldn't give less of a shit.

Adults however, it's kind of depressing really when someone feels they need to talk to someone and their mother who has been there their whole life and is the only stable one should be ridiculed.

I have mixed feelings about this, because at a certain age striving for independence is a good thing for development and solving issues on one's own for the most part and only going back for dire need is in itself growth. What that particular age is would be again, varied from situation to situation. "Momma I stubbed my toe kiss it" at 16 is an issue. However "Momma I can't pay for this all by myself, college is expensive can I borrow some money?" is different.

I know this is a bit of a derailment but would be a good topic to discuss on. As a new father lately I have been running what my parents have done around in my head, what others have done, what I think I would do and if it's an emulation I don't agree with. On top of beginning college this week, I again fear I will have no time.

Apologies for derailment and out of context.

Yes, it totally has that connotation, and you can really see the contrast with its female corollary; in this society the term "Daddy's girl" doesn't have the same stigma because it's OK for girls and women to be childlike and dependent. That's changing, fortunately, but it's still true. At the same time, the not-specifically-gendered but typically used for males term "chip off the old block" has highly positive connotations, because it implies that the boy is like his father.

It's really sad when a boy feels like he can't be close with his mom for fear of being a mama's boy, and can't have deeply personal conversations with his father or friends for fear of being seen as weak. A pussy.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  You guys' test results are hilarious.

I love that you and I have an "androgynous" appearance, Stella. That's fucking ripe.

Also, apparently I'm a dude.

[The Johnny]

TEST, HERE I COME, FOR THE LULZ!

ETA: 160 questions FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[EK WAFFLR]

TEH SKIRT WUZ NOT JOAK

MA SKIRT IS TEH SRS

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

You guys' test results are hilarious.

I love that you and I have an "androgynous" appearance, Stella. That's fucking ripe.

Also, apparently I'm a dude.

Thank Bob for that test or WE MIGHT NEVER HAVE KNOWN.

Going out to buy BVD's nao.