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Deluxe rape kit

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, August 10, 2012, 07:38:00 AM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

August 10, 2012, 07:38:00 AM
I just had a moment, a late-night overworked juxtaposition of thread titles, in which I saw a thread title as "Deluxe rape kit". And in that moment I thought, now THAT is American.

For just five dollars more, you can upgrade to a deluxe rape kit.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Phox

#1
August 10, 2012, 07:43:38 AM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :horrormirth:

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#2
August 10, 2012, 01:15:05 PM
CALL NOW AND WE'LL SEND A SECOND DELUXE RAPE KIT FOR FREE!!

- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
August 10, 2012, 01:48:21 PM
IT CAN CUT RIGHT THROUGH A RESTRAINING ORDER, AND STILL SHOOT ROOFIES 3' INTO HER DRINK!

NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

DON'T ANSWER YET, THERE'S MORE!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#4
August 10, 2012, 01:59:46 PM
WE'VE GOT MORE RAPE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

#5
August 10, 2012, 02:20:32 PM
Tired of doing rape the old way?

Chisels and bourbon? WHAT A MESS!
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#6
August 10, 2012, 04:31:33 PM
 :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
August 10, 2012, 04:45:01 PM
I just found out that one of the alternate names for a rape kit is "PERK kit", which seems oddly EVEN MORE INAPPROPRIATE.  :horrormirth:

http://www.rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/rape-kit
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#8
August 11, 2012, 02:00:28 AM
ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE A RAPE-AXE CONDOM ABSOLUTELY FREE!

P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Anna Mae Bollocks

#9
August 11, 2012, 02:10:10 AM
TIRED OF THOSE HALFASSED RAPE KITS THEY USE AT THE ER? SICK OF RUNNING INTO YOUR RAPIST AT THE GROCERY STORE? GET BLUE CROSS BLUE SHIELD PLATINUM(TM) WITH THE GUARANTEED DELUXE RAPE KIT(TM) AND YOU CAN SEND A MOTHERFUCKER UP THE RIVER FOR LOOKING AT YOU SIDEWAYS!
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division
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