How most men, even good caring men, have no clue what women go through

[The Wizard Joseph]

How blessed he was that you would take the time to talk to him, Faust.

About the time I registered to this site I came about a hairs breath away from being that guy. Unless someone is flashing their knob, grabbing, or shitting themselves I think the bus example is a bad one.

I agree at this point.  It would seem to me that the article is more about social fear and the bit at the end:

So when people (men) want to talk about "legitimate" forms of assault, tell girls they should be nice to strangers and give men the benefit of a doubt, tell them to consider it a compliment, tell them to ignore the bad behavior of men, I want them to be forced to feel, for even one minute, what it feels like to have so much verbal hatred and physical intimidation thrown at them for nothing more than being female and not wanting to share. 

I just wanted to read my book.

It's not my fault I'm pretty.

is intentionally inflammatory, mildly ego-centric, and misses the actual cause of the violent outburst.
Dude was on the edge, almost certainly mentally ill.  That it manifested as a horrible exaggeration of unfortunate (but IN NO WAY uniform) social norms is beside the point to me.  It is also possible, just possible, that the story is "based on a true story" and intended to draw people to a blog and insert a political quip.

I believe from personal experience that introversion is among the worst of all social defenses. If she's pretending to read to avoid contact with males that she is so certain are only interested in (her) sexuality then is seems like an anxiety issue. 

The complaint is not invalid.  Women are OFTEN harassed in situations where exit is not an immediate option. Some of the toughest chicks I know are masters of getting past that and seeing what these folks are into. Then telling them to go away if appropriate.

[Freeky]

That last line was her echoing crazy bike guy, who said "It's not my fault you're pretty." Not egocentric, a good, punchy ending that ties up her story and enforces her point.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

And

So when people (men) want to talk about "legitimate" forms of assault, tell girls they should be nice to strangers and give men the benefit of a doubt, tell them to consider it a compliment, tell them to ignore the bad behavior of men, I want them to be forced to feel, for even one minute, what it feels like to have so much verbal hatred and physical intimidation thrown at them for nothing more than being female and not wanting to share.

I just wanted to read my book.

It's not my fault I'm pretty.

I'm curious about who these people are who consider some forms of assault "legitimate", advise girls to be nice to strangers (can you picture anyone telling their daughters that???), say to "give men the benefit of the doubt" when they try to pick you up on a train, etc.

Does her whole social circle consist of Ryan and Akin?

[Freeky]

I'm not sure what you are arguing, Stella, or why you are trying to make her look stupid or wrong. She is neither.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I'm not sure what you are arguing, Stella, or why you are trying to make her look stupid or wrong. She is neither.

I'm curious about who these people are who consider some forms of assault "legitimate", advise girls to be nice to strangers (can you picture anyone telling their daughters that???), say to "give men the benefit of the doubt" when they try to pick you up on a train, etc.

I genuinely want to know where she gets the idea that this is the norm.

[Freeky]

Well, the whole "be nice" training does start pretty early, and I have heard guys say that chicks they hit on and who turned them down ought to have given them a chance. A lot of that which you wouldn't tell your daughter is really prevalent in TV, and Nigel made a really good comment about how people learn how to act from watching others, and connected tgat to why tv is so popular, and how many stupid, asinine primetime shows are there where there is a girl the male lead is interested in and the audience is made to ask "Augh, when is she going to give him a chance? They'd make a great couple!"

It's everywhere, but if you don't watch TV or some kinds of movies, you don't really catch it that much.

[The Wizard Joseph]

That last line was her echoing crazy bike guy, who said "It's not my fault you're pretty." Not egocentric, a good, punchy ending that ties up her story and enforces her point.

I agree. As I said way early in this thread this was extremely well written, but she chose that means to tie it up.  to reinforce the bike guy and underscore the problem of even the idea of "legitimate assault", no doubt. 

I remember well your post about lenses of perception and just re-read it.  I won't quote for brevity, but is it just possible that the lenses she has on are distorting her picture of over all reality? Lenses go both ways and the picture she drew in the article seems able to readily draw people into her perspective. I'm trying to see the picture with my own and come to an understanding of whether or not the author had an agenda or if this was an accurate picture that I can base opinions on.

[Freeky]

Yes, the lenses you look through can fuck up your vision pretty badly, if you don't switch them out from time to time.

I would say that the picture she painted was clear and correct. She was only talking about her experiences, mostly, and I get what she meant about making people deal with what she deals with when she feels like she is told she ought to be nice and give a guy a chance. If you are asking if I think she's blowing it out of proportion for ulterior motives, well, I can't answer that and don't understand the point of asking it.

[Freeky]

Or maybe, are her lenses fucking with her perceptions? Maybe, but sometimes people keep lenses on too long to protect themselves. O had a whole big thing about lenses and survival, but I forgot it.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Fair enough. I'm still musing about the article. As for my own lenses they can get me a little paranoid when it comes to other people's intentions.  I'll never know about her motivations, but it stands as a great article.

Or maybe, are her lenses fucking with her perceptions? Maybe, but sometimes people keep lenses on too long to protect themselves. O had a whole big thing about lenses and survival, but I forgot it.

I encourage you to attempt to write (or is it re-write) it!

I'm not sure what you are arguing, Stella, or why you are trying to make her look stupid or wrong. She is neither.

I'm curious about who these people are who consider some forms of assault "legitimate", advise girls to be nice to strangers (can you picture anyone telling their daughters that???), say to "give men the benefit of the doubt" when they try to pick you up on a train, etc.

I genuinely want to know where she gets the idea that this is the norm.

Maybe she's exaggerating to make a point, maybe not. You could write her and ask! Don't forget to be entirely yourself and share with the rest of the class. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Well, the whole "be nice" training does start pretty early, and I have heard guys say that chicks they hit on and who turned them down ought to have given them a chance. A lot of that which you wouldn't tell your daughter is really prevalent in TV, and Nigel made a really good comment about how people learn how to act from watching others, and connected tgat to why tv is so popular, and how many stupid, asinine primetime shows are there where there is a girl the male lead is interested in and the audience is made to ask "Augh, when is she going to give him a chance? They'd make a great couple!"

It's everywhere, but if you don't watch TV or some kinds of movies, you don't really catch it that much.

The Ross and Rachel trope? I have a hard time force-fitting that to a pervert on a train.

The general expectation is that it's your perogative not to want anything to do with someone, and you have an obligation to speak up. If you file sexual harassment on your boss, that's the first thing they're going to ask you, whether you told him to stop. I had a situation in Massachusetts where a state police officer used to come in where I worked and harass me. I told him I wasn't interested but he just kept it up, and when I contacted Internal Affairs and they came and interviewed me (admittedly it WAS intimidating, I didn't feel comfortable being as rude with him as I would be with a civilian, but I still had recourse), that was the first thing they asked me, if I'd told him "no".

I never saw him again and I still have the letter saying he'd been dealt with. 

Not only do other women admire you when you shut down a weirdo in a public place, MEN (other than the weirdo) love it. You've got the full support of the village compound. 

[Bu🤠ns]

There's some guy out there, can't remember his name, who is basically doing that, with using PUA-type language to try to teach the kind of guys who are susceptible to PUA brainwashing how to be decent, happy, truly successful men. It's basically a real self-help book disguised as a PUA book.

God, I can only hope that somewhere along the line the whole "alpha" and "beta" thing gets dropped, or at least made fun of for being stupid and wrong.

I'm only this far in this thread so I apologize if you've all move past this topic but I figured I'd mention anyway that....

David Deida's book The Way of the Superior Man takes a more spiritual approach to this in the improve yourself to make you more appealing to others, self-help sort of way.  Definitely NOT the PUA stuff as it's commonly known. 

And, believe it or not, David DeAngelo's more recent stuff is more or less doing exactly what Prince Glittersnatch is describing. 

I do know that blog you're talking about, Nigel, and it's pretty good.

[Freeky]

Well, the whole "be nice" training does start pretty early, and I have heard guys say that chicks they hit on and who turned them down ought to have given them a chance. A lot of that which you wouldn't tell your daughter is really prevalent in TV, and Nigel made a really good comment about how people learn how to act from watching others, and connected tgat to why tv is so popular, and how many stupid, asinine primetime shows are there where there is a girl the male lead is interested in and the audience is made to ask "Augh, when is she going to give him a chance? They'd make a great couple!"

It's everywhere, but if you don't watch TV or some kinds of movies, you don't really catch it that much.

The Ross and Rachel trope? I have a hard time force-fitting that to a pervert on a train.

The general expectation is that it's your perogative not to want anything to do with someone, and you have an obligation to speak up. If you file sexual harassment on your boss, that's the first thing they're going to ask you, whether you told him to stop. I had a situation in Massachusetts where a state police officer used to come in where I worked and harass me. I told him I wasn't interested but he just kept it up, and when I contacted Internal Affairs and they came and interviewed me (admittedly it WAS intimidating, I didn't feel comfortable being as rude with him as I would be with a civilian, but I still had recourse), that was the first thing they asked me, if I'd told him "no".

I never saw him again and I still have the letter saying he'd been dealt with. 

Not only do other women admire you when you shut down a weirdo in a public place, MEN (other than the weirdo) love it. You've got the full support of the village compound. 

Whether or not you can fit that trope in, they can. In their eyes, they are the Ross, and the Rachel who rejects them is being a frigid bitch.

Your story had a happy ending, but a lot of others don't. I don't even know what your last sentence means, because in my experience most people get weirded out in general if someone says someone else makes them uncomfortable.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Well, the whole "be nice" training does start pretty early, and I have heard guys say that chicks they hit on and who turned them down ought to have given them a chance. A lot of that which you wouldn't tell your daughter is really prevalent in TV, and Nigel made a really good comment about how people learn how to act from watching others, and connected tgat to why tv is so popular, and how many stupid, asinine primetime shows are there where there is a girl the male lead is interested in and the audience is made to ask "Augh, when is she going to give him a chance? They'd make a great couple!"

It's everywhere, but if you don't watch TV or some kinds of movies, you don't really catch it that much.

The Ross and Rachel trope? I have a hard time force-fitting that to a pervert on a train.

The general expectation is that it's your perogative not to want anything to do with someone, and you have an obligation to speak up. If you file sexual harassment on your boss, that's the first thing they're going to ask you, whether you told him to stop. I had a situation in Massachusetts where a state police officer used to come in where I worked and harass me. I told him I wasn't interested but he just kept it up, and when I contacted Internal Affairs and they came and interviewed me (admittedly it WAS intimidating, I didn't feel comfortable being as rude with him as I would be with a civilian, but I still had recourse), that was the first thing they asked me, if I'd told him "no".

I never saw him again and I still have the letter saying he'd been dealt with. 

Not only do other women admire you when you shut down a weirdo in a public place, MEN (other than the weirdo) love it. You've got the full support of the village compound. 

Whether or not you can fit that trope in, they can. In their eyes, they are the Ross, and the Rachel who rejects them is being a frigid bitch.

Your story had a happy ending, but a lot of others don't. I don't even know what your last sentence means, because in my experience most people get weirded out in general if someone says someone else makes them uncomfortable.

You never told some horndog in a bar to fuck off and had everybody else laugh at that?

[Freeky]

No, I don't go to bars.

And a bar is not what I'd consider a community.