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Prison Warden Saves You, Saves The World

Started by Ayotollah of Ass, September 25, 2012, 08:01:48 PM

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Ayotollah of Ass

Rest easy. No need to worry, my friend. The Prison Warden™ will take very good care of you. He'll protect you. In fact, he's protecting the whole world and keeping it locked it up tight. Keeping it safe. When the whole world is in prison, everything is safe.

What is this? You hear the sounds of a carnival outside? That's not a carnival. That's people beating on our doors trying to get in. We can't process them fast enough. Here, take a look at this recruitment brochure:

===Begin text of brochure===

Is capitalism exploiting you? Do you hate your boss? Tired of doing work that is meaningless, piecemeal and without any sense of craftsmanship? Are the rich getting fat off their parasitic suckling of your blood, sweat and sweet, sweet tears?

Are racists calling you whitey, blackey or not liking your shade of brown? The good old boys, with their exclusive clubs and sign that YOU need to keep out. Or is it the institutionalized racism of the system keeping you down? We really like the idea of you as CEO of this shit show, but the citizens, investors, customers, suppliers or the vague "they" aren't quite ready for you to be in charge yet – not of yourself, certainly not of anyone else.

Sound familiar ladies? Is patriarchy always looming, like an unwanted phallus in your face? Tired of having a seat at the table, just never at the head of the table, making less money than the men and having even enlightened "feminist" men (and women) look to you when the kids misbehave or the house isn't clean?

Or is it your gender/sexual orientation? People don't understand your gender ambiguity, Pat? Society doesn't like who, how, how often, you like to hump? Your sexual interest in: armpits, toes, ears, bellybuttons, (insert non-standard body area of choice); earwax, dinkleberries, eye crust, toenail fungus, human milk, (insert non-standard body secretion/collection of choice); nipple suction, furry suit, assless leather chaps, (insert non-standard sexual accoutrement), etc.; etc., when discovered is used to make you feel like a depraved pervert?

Or maybe it is religion? Not enough God? Or, Gods?  A little too much of both? No one understands your "fake" religion. Or, everyone is fine with it, even when you were trying to shock them all with your counter-cultural sensibilities because the market has already appropriated your ideas and willing to sell you trinkets on the cheap. Bob is waiting. Call now! If you call in the next 15 minutes, you'll get a free Black Iron Prison coffee mug.

Or, maybe you have more esoteric, conspiratorial or ideological tastes? New World Order? The poor? Water fluoridation? Party A/B/C of your country of citizenship? Black people? Catholicism? Primative anarchists? The Jews? Masculinism? Sovereign individual? 9/11 Truth? 13 Families? Or, insert your special blend of The Real that no one else understands here?

The Prison Warden™ has the cure to what ails you. The Prison has whole blocs devoted to creating the world as you want it. There's a feminist bloc. A Christian bloc. A US of A bloc. A gay bloc. A Black bloc (all 5 kinds). A bloc for everything you want. We have a ready stream of recruits and an open prosletization policy. Come to the prison and build the future you want today!

===End brochure===

We don't mention this in the brochure, but we even a freedom bloc where the Prison Warden is called The Gardener™ and inmates are free to wander the English-style Garden, with everything manicured and kept in its proper place. Freedom without all the danger. We have every illusion you'll ever need, really.

Wait, what? When will you'll get out? Never. Why would you want to get out? Don't you understand how dangerous it is out there? Don't you realize that the only protection you're going to get is a multi-layered symbosis of various bloc X-isms to keep your mind safe from the insanity of the real, The Real – not your special flavor of it?

Look, this is equal opportunity. Life sentences for everyone, with no chance of parole. Most people prefer blocs of cells to share with others. But, the management is kind. You're more than welcome to select solitary confinement or change your illusion of choice at any time.

Now, get in your place. Welcome home.

The Good Reverend Roger

Nice.  I get the implied irony, but I'm writing it off as incomplete signal.

Have you read the BIP yet?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Not bad at all... 

This one's got potential.  Yeah, doesn't fit with the BIP imagery, but, for a first piece here, I've seen a lot worse.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:13:50 PM
Not bad at all... 

This one's got potential.  Yeah, doesn't fit with the BIP imagery, but, for a first piece here, I've seen a lot worse.

Oh, I think it does.

The idea that people walk around with filters on to protect them from uncomfortable or inconvenient truths is smack in the middle of the BIP.  The idea that people who THINK they've avoided that are STILL viewing the world through filters is the very IDEA of the BIP.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:16:22 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:13:50 PM
Not bad at all... 

This one's got potential.  Yeah, doesn't fit with the BIP imagery, but, for a first piece here, I've seen a lot worse.

Oh, I think it does.

The idea that people walk around with filters on to protect them from uncomfortable or inconvenient truths is smack in the middle of the BIP.  The idea that people who THINK they've avoided that are STILL viewing the world through filters is the very IDEA of the BIP.

Fair...  I was thinking more of the "people trying to get in" angle, given that nobody's outside...  or at least nobody who WANTS back in.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

In fact, the only difference I see is the people on the OUTSIDE, making all the noise...Well, they aren't on the outside.  That's just another wing of the prison, you see.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:18:33 PM
Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:16:22 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:13:50 PM
Not bad at all... 

This one's got potential.  Yeah, doesn't fit with the BIP imagery, but, for a first piece here, I've seen a lot worse.

Oh, I think it does.

The idea that people walk around with filters on to protect them from uncomfortable or inconvenient truths is smack in the middle of the BIP.  The idea that people who THINK they've avoided that are STILL viewing the world through filters is the very IDEA of the BIP.

Fair...  I was thinking more of the "people trying to get in" angle, given that nobody's outside...  or at least nobody who WANTS back in.

Look around.  If there really WAS a way out, people would kill you if you tried to tell them what it was.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:20:18 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:18:33 PM
Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:16:22 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:13:50 PM
Not bad at all... 

This one's got potential.  Yeah, doesn't fit with the BIP imagery, but, for a first piece here, I've seen a lot worse.

Oh, I think it does.

The idea that people walk around with filters on to protect them from uncomfortable or inconvenient truths is smack in the middle of the BIP.  The idea that people who THINK they've avoided that are STILL viewing the world through filters is the very IDEA of the BIP.

Fair...  I was thinking more of the "people trying to get in" angle, given that nobody's outside...  or at least nobody who WANTS back in.

Look around.  If there really WAS a way out, people would kill you if you tried to tell them what it was.

Sad, but true.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:23:45 PM
Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:20:18 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:18:33 PM
Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:16:22 PM
Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:13:50 PM
Not bad at all... 

This one's got potential.  Yeah, doesn't fit with the BIP imagery, but, for a first piece here, I've seen a lot worse.

Oh, I think it does.

The idea that people walk around with filters on to protect them from uncomfortable or inconvenient truths is smack in the middle of the BIP.  The idea that people who THINK they've avoided that are STILL viewing the world through filters is the very IDEA of the BIP.

Fair...  I was thinking more of the "people trying to get in" angle, given that nobody's outside...  or at least nobody who WANTS back in.

Look around.  If there really WAS a way out, people would kill you if you tried to tell them what it was.

Sad, but true.

The thing that tends to go past most people who discuss this with us is that we KNOW it applies to us, no less (or not much less) than anyone else.  Have since 2002, even if we didn't "codify" it until 2006.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Ayotollah of Ass

Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:04:43 PM
Nice.  I get the implied irony, but I'm writing it off as incomplete signal.

Have you read the BIP yet?

Yes, I read BIP very recently. After reading Nigel?/Hairy Monkey's Hey you! You're Not So Special! piece, I wanted to try writing something in the same vein but a lot less hopeful. It's a bit derivative from BIP, but I read somewhere that new people should try to post a new thread within the first week of registering (didn't quite do that), and this seemed like it would be ok to start with, even though its pretty rough. 

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Ayotollah of Assehollah on September 25, 2012, 08:27:49 PM
Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:04:43 PM
Nice.  I get the implied irony, but I'm writing it off as incomplete signal.

Have you read the BIP yet?

Yes, I read BIP very recently. After reading Nigel?/Hairy Monkey's Hey you! You're Not So Special! piece, I wanted to try writing something in the same vein but a lot less hopeful. It's a bit derivative from BIP, but I read somewhere that new people should try to post a new thread within the first week of registering (didn't quite do that), and this seemed like it would be ok to start with, even though its pretty rough.

I think it's great.

Incidentally, the whole board is full of stuff like that, mostly in Or Kill Me, Think For Yourself Schmuck, and in this subforum, though it's smeared pretty thin here because this is also where the vanity threads and weird shit/misc go.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

And actually, I think you're thinking of BIP2013 (Which I'd like to add that piece to, if you don't mind).  The original BIP is in the archives. 


Can someone scare up a link?  I'm having nannywall issues.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Ayotollah of Ass

Quote from: Luna on September 25, 2012, 08:18:33 PM
Fair...  I was thinking more of the "people trying to get in" angle, given that nobody's outside...  or at least nobody who WANTS back in.

There are definitely people that think they are on the outside. I think it was subconscious clowning on the fact that people so often think they are seeing things as they really are - and perhaps for a moment they do, but shortly end up busily knocking on the prison door trying to get into a particular cell bloc. Ultimately, there's this interesting conflict where the fundamental issue is our limited perception of what is Real is the prison, but the BIP definitely sells the idea that there is some freedom to be had.

Maybe a conceptional framework of rings. Center is the prison of ideology, garden as prison of false freedom from ideology, and the interior gates people are pounding on is the prison interior gates separating the prison proper and garden from the larger limits of perception, which most people will need to limit further by either pretending they are free or adopting some interpretive ideological framework.

Maybe you can get out to the limits of the prison grounds and experience the fullest measure of the Real that you can during your zen meditation retreat, acid trip or whatever. But, come Monday, you'll need all the screening power of your capitalist, feminist, Christian or whatever your preferred ideology of choice is to make it through the week.


Quote from: Fidel Castro on September 25, 2012, 08:31:15 PM
And actually, I think you're thinking of BIP2013 (Which I'd like to add that piece to, if you don't mind).  The original BIP is in the archives.

Not sure. I printed out a PDF file I got from scribd or something. It doesn't have any version number on it, but the content looks the same as the pdf of the link Luna linked to on a quick scan. Please use whatever you like, although I'm noticing some spelling mistakes and whatnot now, so maybe I should clean it up a little first.