Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)

[LMNO]

Pitch a wobbler.


I assume you can't throw them out, nor can you move, so the only sensible alternative is to freak the fuck out at them.

[Cain]

Shit in the sink.

Never say a thing about it.

[Juana]

Exaggeratedly sort the mail. Throw it at them, full force, with lots of "GEE THANKS GUYS" as you do so. Leave dishes in their rooms. If they take it back to the sink, put the dirty dishes on their pillows. Leave cleaning supplies in front of their bedroom doors.

[LMNO]

"You think I'm a bitch NOW!? You keep this bullshit up, and you will know the true and ancient meaning of a 'Fury'. You can either live with a high-octaine cunt, or you can GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND STRAIGHTEN THE FUCK UP."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am home sick today, so all I'm going to say is that you should wound their inner children and throw shit.

Every rent-share has the crazy one.  It is better to BE the crazy one, rather than to experience the crazy one.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, math professor broke minds today when asked how to graph the imaginary roots of a parabola on an real 2d coordinate plane.
"I can't graph in 4 dimensions, but it's ok because you don't have 4th dimensional eyes"

I don't know what that means. What math class are you in?

Precalc.

Oh, ok. I'm taking that next term. 

I also think I am older than my math professor.

I know for a fact that I am older than mine. In fact, I only have one professor I'm younger than.

In other news, Johns Hopkins is recruiting and it's a program I know I would get into, but that's in Baltimore.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am home sick today, so all I'm going to say is that you should wound their inner children and throw shit.

Every rent-share has the crazy one.  It is better to BE the crazy one, rather than to experience the crazy one.

This.

Full-blown temper tantrum. Break things that are not yours.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I had this text conversation with my daughter last night:

J: When should i be home

K: 6

J: Mom that's in 20 minutes

K: It was in 45 minutes when I sent that.

J: Oh

K: OK whatever, get here before raped-and-stabbed-to-death-by-a-greasy-hobo thirty. What time do you think you should be home for matters of safety and responsibility? Whatever time that is, that's when I want you home.

J: OK ok I will start heading home jesus

I'm so unreasonable.  

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I seriously think that I should teach a high-school class in being a decent roommate. Not because I'm fabulous to live with, but because it seems like most kids enter the adult world with absolutely no idea, and then spend the next ten years learning the hard way.

[trippinprincezz13]

Pitch a wobbler.


I assume you can't throw them out, nor can you move, so the only sensible alternative is to freak the fuck out at them.

Exaggeratedly sort the mail. Throw it at them, full force, with lots of "GEE THANKS GUYS" as you do so. Leave dishes in their rooms. If they take it back to the sink, put the dirty dishes on their pillows. Leave cleaning supplies in front of their bedroom doors.

These. Maybe they'll get the hint. Maybe they won't, but at least it'll be cathartic and nothing else seems to be helping. I've had to do it before and it's mostly worked, but I suppose that could also be because I've mostly lived with decent, if occassionally inconsiderate, people.

If that doesn't work, what Cain said, but exchange "sink" for "corner of their room" since if it's in a common area, they'll probably wait for you to clean it

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Pitch a wobbler.


I assume you can't throw them out, nor can you move, so the only sensible alternative is to freak the fuck out at them.

Exaggeratedly sort the mail. Throw it at them, full force, with lots of "GEE THANKS GUYS" as you do so. Leave dishes in their rooms. If they take it back to the sink, put the dirty dishes on their pillows. Leave cleaning supplies in front of their bedroom doors.

These. Maybe they'll get the hint. Maybe they won't, but at least it'll be cathartic and nothing else seems to be helping. I've had to do it before and it's mostly worked, but I suppose that could also be because I've mostly lived with decent, if occassionally inconsiderate, people.

If that doesn't work, what Cain said, but exchange "sink" for "corner of their room" since if it's in a common area, they'll probably wait for you to clean it

Or their pillow. Or pee all over their bedding.

[LMNO]

I had this text conversation with my daughter last night:

J: When should i be home

K: 6

J: Mom that's in 20 minutes

K: It was in 45 minutes when I sent that.

J: Oh

K: OK whatever, get here before raped-and-stabbed-to-death-by-a-greasy-hobo thirty. What time do you think you should be home for matters of safety and responsibility? Whatever time that is, that's when I want you home.

J: OK ok I will start heading home jesus

I'm so unreasonable.  

I wonder what would happen if she said, "Great, see you at 11:30!"

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Just one thing: don't wait until they're already cleaning to complain about the fact that they don't clean often enough.

(QG has lived with idiots)

[Kai]

So, I go to the doctor to talk about last week's test results today.

He tells me, due to my impaired fasting glucose levels, I've got a percent chance of developing diabetes over the next 5 years. Unless I change my diet and exercise routine. I tell him what I've been doing.

I say, I've cut all sugary fruits out of my diet. He says, no, you shouldn't do that, sugary fruits are fine to keep in, they're full of nutrients.

I say, for example, bananas in the morning have been a bad idea for me. He says, that doesn't make sense, bananas are mostly starch.

I say, bread is also a problem, and I've been eating wheat bread. He says, wheat bread should be fine.

I tell him, potatoes on the other hand don't seem to be causing me problems. He says, that doesn't make any sense, potatoes have a high glycemic index.

So, basically, everything I've been learning from paying attention to my body, my moods and my blood sugar levels, he throws back in my face with contradictory advice.

Then he hands me an article on lowering blood pressure with exercise. Which is hilarious, because my blood pressure is already quite low, and if it was lower I would start having problems. It's low enough that I have trouble getting enough blood to test myself.

I said thank you, walked out of there, and thought...was that at all useful? REALLY? DID I JUST WASTE MY TIME?!? What good advice he gave I was already doing, and the rest contradicted what I'm learning from experiment. So, basically, I'm done with this advice. DONE. I'mma listen to my body, and if I feel good and my blood sugar levels look good, then I'mma do it. Regardless of whatever self proclaimed expert says. DAMN.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I said thank you, walked out of there, and thought...was that at all useful? REALLY? DID I JUST WASTE MY TIME?!? What good advice he gave I was already doing, and the rest contradicted what I'm learning from experiment. So, basically, I'm done with this advice. DONE. I'mma listen to my body, and if I feel good and my blood sugar levels look good, then I'mma do it. Regardless of whatever self proclaimed expert says. DAMN.

Self-proclaimed?

I thought he was a doctor.  Anyway, you're right.  You should stick with your opinion on what's good for you.  Don't listen to those secular "doctors" and their "science".  You should totally experiment with your metabolism.

These people can help you:  http://www.mystickwicks.com