Author Topic: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)  (Read 1847 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« on: October 11, 2012, 08:31:45 pm »
I am here at no risk to myself or others to tell you the TRUTH about the Discordian menace.

1.  Discordians always tell you all about their evil plans.  Then they rarely actually DO anything.  What this means is that we've cried "wolf!" so many times that we can say and do as we please without any possibility of anyone believing us.

Another way to say this is that there are no secrets in the Church of Discordia, and I will not be endangering myself or my family in any way, despite rumors to the contrary...Because you, dear reader, will probably not believe a word of it.  This is all just more quaint fiction.

2.  Discordians pretend that they disagree on everything, even what "Discordianism" MEANS.  This is to convince you that they have nothing nefarious in the works, because they can't stop bickering.  It worked on YOU, so it will probably work on the FBI.

3.  Discordians hate the American way of life...And so should YOU.

4.  Discordians don't stand out in a crowd.  That's what anarchists are for.  While the dumbfuck with the day-glo hairdo and the Anarchy Now shirt is being watched by the security guards, the Discordian is fucking up all the toilets.

5.  Discordians aren't trying to change the world.  They're trying to keep it just as weird as it already is.

6.  Discordians aren't here to help you become enlightened.  Enlightenment is for Buddhists, which is a totally different religion entirely, no matter what the Facebook tards tell you.  Any Discordian parable that involves Buddhists or monks is a put on, designed deliberately to WASTE YOUR TIME while the Discordians sneak into the bathrooms again.  Sucker.

7.  Discordians know all about Tucson and Providence and Portland, and you don't.  That's why Discordians laugh so much while everyone else is staring at the news broadcasts in shock.

8.  Discordians know who was REALLY behind 9/11, but we aren't telling, because the RIDICULOUS conspiracy theories out there are endlessly amusing.  Likewise, we aren't saying SHIT about the Kennedy assassination, so shut up.

9.  A hornet in your shorts is worth 10 in the nest.

10.  Discordians can't be bothered with your political or religious views.  Because they're BORING and you're BORING when you try to explain them. 

Noobs, here's why you get shit on:  You are here to tell us all about YOU and YOUR zaniness.  But it's been DONE, and it's NOT FUNNY and what's more, it's NO FUN.  If you're FUN, then we'll get along fine (as opposed to funny, which you probably aren't).  The whole POINT of the exercise is FUN, and if you're here to show us WHAT'S WHAT or what a REALLY REAL DISCORDIAN you are, then you aren't FUN.

Also, walking into a group and acting like a DUMBSHIT will provoke that group to TREAT you like a dumbshit, and it makes no difference WHAT group we're talking about.  So take your butthurt and shove it up your ass, because that's where it's going ANYWAY, and we can all save a little time if you just go ahead and do it yourself.  Also, rejection by a group does NOT mean that one person controls that group, it just means YOU PISSED EVERYONE OFF.

So shut up.

 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2012, 08:58:05 pm »
WORD SALAD/PINEALIZM

REALLY REAL DISCORDIA

YUO! MIND LAZ0RZ!

*BUTTHURT*

Pissed everyone off like that?  :lulz:
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Freeky

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2012, 09:17:57 pm »
Well said.

However, I'm going to call shenanigans.  I am almost positive you wrote this shirtless.  JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T SEE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T COUNT, MAN YELLOW. :argh!:
If someone does the Fine, youre right, Im clearly a terrible person, Im Satan, Im the worst person alive, I should just die thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


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Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2012, 09:27:18 pm »
Well said.

However, I'm going to call shenanigans.  I am almost positive you wrote this shirtless.  JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T SEE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T COUNT, MAN YELLOW. :argh!:

I'm guessing pantsless, considering the orange terror alert hornet.
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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2012, 04:13:01 am »
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2013, 09:38:38 pm »
Bump for use elsewhere.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

trippinprincezz13

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2013, 05:10:19 pm »
Missed this way back when in October.

I like it, alot
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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2013, 05:24:42 pm »
Permission to slap together a print/flyer version?
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2013, 05:24:54 pm »
Permission to slap together a print/flyer version?

By all means.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2013, 05:44:24 pm »
Well worth the bump, if you ask me.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2013, 05:57:10 pm »
Yep, I missed this then first time. Awesome.

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2013, 06:45:02 pm »
We are freaks.  We are genetic stuntmen.  We are the weaponized ape.  We are so far ahead of everyone else that we are constantly accused of cheating.  We are the 5th hosrie of the apocalypso.  We sing in the shower, we dance in the shower, and we laugh at the emergency room personnel who bitch about the results.  HEALED HEAD BAD, BLEEDING HEAD GOOD. 

We KNOW we'll PAY TO KNOW WHAT WE REALLY THINK, so we put our brains on LAYAWAY, because it turns out that the payment isn't in green, it's in slackin' and froppin' our way to a bright new tomorrow, with fresh fears scrawled on horror's scrolls.  We are the last humans, we know rock n roll and what James Brown was trying to scream out the window while the cops chased him across 4 states. 

We are Discordians, and we don't need your stupid Causes and political theory, because we know the TRUTH, and that Truth IS, "The Future Isn't Done With You Yet".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2013, 06:47:01 pm »
TESTIFY, BROTHER!

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2013, 06:55:24 pm »
TESTIFY, BROTHER!

The Future is BAD for you.  That's why we all went back to 1979 and only kept the good shit.  Time is LOOSE, Brothers and Sisters, and sometimes it gets downright GOOEY...But would you REALLY want it to behave itself?  No, of course not.  Because if it DID, that would mean you'd ONLY get Taylor Swift right now, and no Rehab to make things better, singing about being down in the dark where the sickness lives.

And do YOU have The Sickness, friends?  Do you know what it's like to RANT UNTIL YOUR SPLEEN EXPLODES in front of perfectly harmless bystanders AT THE GAY BAR?  CAN YOU, in fact, GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS?  I hope so.  This new-style America sort of DEMANDS it, and it will crush you like a fucking bug if you aren't prepared, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

There's no way to go farther back than 1979, for reasons that are too technical to explain, but would you really want to?  1979 was the absolute HEIGHT of American FABULOUSNESS, and that is really all anyone wants.  Even the hard core Christian right just wants to ensure an ETERNITY of FABULOUSNESS for themselves, although they'll KILL YOU if you try to make them admit it.

Can you, my people, SHIT YOUR PANTS IN THE FACE OF AUTHORITY?  Can you slap the snot out of what's EXPECTED OF YOU?  Can you drive that militarized Studebaker down the Lost Highway, blasting the Boogie Pimps on 8-Track and getting ALL the puke out the window?

Shit yeah.  This century was MADE for us, and it is OURS TO PLAY WITH, TO KICK DOWN THE STAIRS, provided only that WE remain safely in 1979.

CAN I GET A WITNESS?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: Discordia EXPOSED (No, not me. My shirt is safely ON.)
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2013, 07:01:08 pm »
OH LORDY

ROGER HAS THE HOLIES AGAIN!
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.