My Last Will and Testament

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I, The Good Reverend Roger, of sound body and rather less sound mind, do bequeath my possessions as follows, on the event of my death.

1.  I leave my PM inbox, pages 1-6 (the collected loonies), to ECH to do with as he sees fit (upon completion of item #5).

2.  I leave my ass hair to the "Hookers" on the board, so they can make a Persian rug out of me.

3.  I leave my endless rage to Alty, because he needs it.

4.  I leave my liquor cabinet to Nigel (with the exception of the Evan Williams.  See #6).  Also the collection of foreign-made, excessively large fireworks.  And all of my bayonets, of which there seems to be an endless supply.

5.  I leave my mortal remains to Richter, for sharpening.  I then request and require that ECH use a 9 pound road hammer to drive me into my grave like a tent stake. 

6.  I leave 3 bottles of Evan Williams to the cat. 

7.  I leave all of my collected writings to either LMNO or Nigel, who may divide them, share them, or DUEL TO THE DEATH over them.  If this last option is used, the weapons and conditions shall be:  Flamethrowers at ten paces.

8.  I leave my tool set to TGG, in the hope that she will learn to dangerously weaken structures with them.

9.  I leave LMNO my collection of WOMP faces, and the file marked "Do Not Open" on my laptop.  There's something in there I promised you a long time ago, Sailor.  And YOU have promises to keep, as well.

10.  The remainder of my estate shall pass into the hands of my wife.  In the event of her predeceasing me, then my son.  Failing that, it all goes to The Hoff.

[Suu]

I really can't wait until you're sharpened. 

[LMNO]

It's on the internet now, and so must be done.

[Salty]

3.  I leave my endless rage to Alty, because he needs it.

YESSSS!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Don't you dare shuffle off this mortal coil into peace and eternal rest. This world needs to be continually shit on from a great height.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Don't you dare shuffle off this mortal coil into peace and eternal rest. This world needs to be continually shit on from a great height.

No plans on leaving right now.   

But I'm busy with a satire/WOMP thingie which may anger certain East coast personages, including the quiet one that just flenses people.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

We're going to need a titanium drop spindle to spin the ass hair into yarn. And before that, something strong enough to clean the filth from it without dissolving the hair . . .

[The Good Reverend Roger]

We're going to need a titanium drop spindle to spin the ass hair into yarn. And before that, something strong enough to clean the filth from it without dissolving the hair . . .

That isn't actually going to be a problem.  The shit's like threads of tungsten.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Don't you dare shuffle off this mortal coil into peace and eternal rest. This world needs to be continually shit on from a great height.

No plans on leaving right now.   

But I'm busy with a satire/WOMP thingie which may anger certain East coast personages, including the quiet one that just flenses people.

Oooooh, something to look forward to!
I feel all...christmasy. 

[Salty]

Every year on your birthday I will hand out small pieces of your rage to children and tell them The Story of TGRR.

Until people know to stop sending their children to my house if they don't want them coming back shrieking and oozing black smoke from their eyes.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

We're going to need a titanium drop spindle to spin the ass hair into yarn. And before that, something strong enough to clean the filth from it without dissolving the hair . . .

That isn't actually going to be a problem.  The shit's like threads of tungsten.

Well that's a relief. How does it take dye?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

We're going to need a titanium drop spindle to spin the ass hair into yarn. And before that, something strong enough to clean the filth from it without dissolving the hair . . .

That isn't actually going to be a problem.  The shit's like threads of tungsten.

Well that's a relief. How does it take dye?

In a coffee mug, with a dash of cinnamon.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

We're going to need a titanium drop spindle to spin the ass hair into yarn. And before that, something strong enough to clean the filth from it without dissolving the hair . . .

That isn't actually going to be a problem.  The shit's like threads of tungsten.

Well that's a relief. How does it take dye?

In a coffee mug, with a dash of cinnamon.

[Suu]

I have an N hook project going right now, I wonder if that's big enough...

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I have an N hook project going right now, I wonder if that's big enough...

I'm still stuck on how we'd ply the yarn. Or if it would ply us.