Answering math problems in short-story form

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

3. In the following situations, give a practical interpretation in words of the function described.

a. f(h(t)), where A = f(r) is the area of a circle of radius r and r = h(t) is the radius of the circle at time t .

I am walking along minding my own business, when suddenly, strange beings appear from nowhere. "We're from Cerberus," they say, "And we need to store this transdimensional portal here for a while. Bye!" and then they shout something nonsensical and disappear. But they've left behind a medium-sized glowing circle on the ground. It's pretty much the creepiest thing I've ever seen in my life, and even as the hair rises on the back of my neck, I can't take my eyes off it. I don't know how long I stared at it before I notice that it's growing. Apparently the radius of the circle increases as a function of the passage of time. Suddenly I remember what they'd shouted... "f(h(t)), where A = f(r) is the area of a circle of radius r and r = h(t) is the radius of the circle at time t", and I realized what it meant... the open circular area of the portal is a function of the radius which is a function of the passage of time... and I knew that unless those guys came back real soon, the Earth was doomed.

3b. k(g(t)), where L = f(r) is the length of a steel bar at temperature H and H = g(t) is the temperature at time t.

I'm not exactly sure why... I think it might have something to do with the portal... but I'm sitting, strapped to a chair, and in front of me is a contraption holding a horizontal metal bar. One end of the metal bar is a bare millimeter, at most, from a wire that is connected to a large bundle of... something. Something sinister. Something dangerous. As I watch, there is a sharp click and a spark jumps beneath the metal bar. A ribbon of flame flicks to life and beneath the flame, a small timer, counting down. Transfixed, I try  to reason what purpose there could be to what I'm seeing, and then it comes to me... just as the area of the portal was dependent on the radius, which was dependent on the amount of time that had passed, the length of the metal bar depends on its temperature, which in turn depends on how much time elapses after the flame has turned on!

And then the rod, having expanded, touched the wire.

  Math makes my brain hurt, but I love these!

[Suu]

Goddamnit, Nigel. Reading this made me think my Classics exams were full of math. 


...I now request Greek mythology. In mathematical form.

[EK WAFFLR]

Have you been hirley0'd? This is disturbing. But fantastic!

[LMNO]

My physics teacher used to give exams like this, so the entire test would be some sort of short story.

"Sally is 20m up in a tree, throwing 1 Kg rocks at James' head, at 15 m/s.  If James is 10m from the base of the tree, would one of the rocks kill him if struck in the head?"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My physics teacher used to give exams like this, so the entire test would be some sort of short story.

"Sally is 20m up in a tree, throwing 1 Kg rocks at James' head, at 15 m/s.  If James is 10m from the base of the tree, would one of the rocks kill him if struck in the head?"

That's AWESOME.

See, I feel like if I am given a story problem, it's my responsibility to give a story answer.

Besides, it's the end of term and I'm feeling a little stir crazy.

[Cain]

ITT holist has a mental breakdown.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

ITT holist has a mental breakdown.

[Aucoq]

My physics teacher used to give exams like this, so the entire test would be some sort of short story.

"Sally is 20m up in a tree, throwing 1 Kg rocks at James' head, at 15 m/s.  If James is 10m from the base of the tree, would one of the rocks kill him if struck in the head?"

That's my kind of teacher.

ITT holist has a mental breakdown.