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All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 06, 2012, 04:20:47 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

December 06, 2012, 04:20:47 PM
State your sins or lack thereof, and I shall dispense penance.

You miserable bastards.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I danced the Gay Wango-Tango thrice last weekend.

I took the name of Roger in vain, fivefold.

I did not feed the troll.

I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

I accidentally the bourbon.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#3
December 06, 2012, 04:57:40 PM
Bless me reverend for i have sinned. I have been negligent in the ways of our lady. I have not done any acts of discord in some time and i am long overdue for a pilgrimmage to providence (which will soon be rectified).
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
December 06, 2012, 05:04:24 PM
Quote from: ho|ist on December 06, 2012, 04:57:40 PM
Bless me reverend for i have sinned. I have been negligent in the ways of our lady. I have not done any acts of discord in some time and i am long overdue for a pilgrimmage to providence (which will soon be rectified).

When it's rectified, come get your penance.  You can't ask for penance WHILE YOU'RE STILL SINNING.  You have to STOP sinning first, THEN ask.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#5
December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I stand before you, a miserable sinner. Bless me, Reverend, and may Our Lady intercede on my behalf for forgiveness of my apathy.

I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.

I have also failed to upper deck said toilets.

I have been sober, lo, since Nov. 29. Not because I needed to quit. Because I just don't feel like it.

I haven't told anybody "fuck you" in two days.

I have failed in my civic duty here at PD by not making a holist alt.







Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
December 06, 2012, 05:40:50 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.

You will draw the Transmet 3-eyed smiley :transmet: in no less than one public bathroom per week for the next 3 months.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#7
December 06, 2012, 05:43:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 05:40:50 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.

You will draw the Transmet 3-eyed smiley :transmet: in no less than one public bathroom per week for the next 3 months.

Bless you, Reverend. Thy will be done.  :lol:

I feel like I got off easy...
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

LMNO

#8
December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.

You, sir, are PROPHET.

It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight.  WHOOPS goes the bourbon!

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
December 06, 2012, 07:04:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.

You, sir, are PROPHET.

It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight.  WHOOPS goes the bourbon!

Quorum. 

It's like I don't even know you anymore.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#10
December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!

It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)

I've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...

I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Juana

#11
December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
December 06, 2012, 07:12:17 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!

It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)

DO NOT MAKE THE CONFESSOR LAUGH.  :crankey:

QuoteI've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...

I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards

For what?  That's an exemplary life right there.

Have you perchance prank-called Maggie Thatcher?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
December 06, 2012, 07:12:55 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.

NOBODY IS PURE EXCEPT JESUS SOME GUY IN MAINE.   :argh!:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#14
December 06, 2012, 07:18:28 PM
I spent the entire day in an open plan office reading through the past week of FARK. I'm not even sorry.

I've spent the past week calling an obnoxious Auditor "Bilbo". He is paying me for this privilege. 

I spent my lunch hitting a car with a crowbar.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.
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