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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 10, 2012, 04:57:32 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

December 10, 2012, 04:57:32 PM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Elder Iptuous

#1
December 10, 2012, 05:50:34 PM
i'm  guessing a marketing guy was given a dare. "make 'this coffee tastes like elephant shit' into a compliment".
now someone owes him five bucks.

AFK

#2
December 10, 2012, 06:08:17 PM
DO NOT WANT!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
December 11, 2012, 12:27:12 AM
First weasel shit coffee, then elephant shit coffee.

People are fucking weird.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Suu

#4
December 11, 2012, 01:53:10 AM
but...but...but...

WHY
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

AFK

#5
December 11, 2012, 02:54:22 AM
They should call it Junk from the Trunk, though, since it is an elephant, that might be confusing.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Juana

#6
December 11, 2012, 02:56:53 AM
I have totally eaten things for the purposes of having a funny story to tell later, but WHAT. NO. That is not food!
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Pæs

#7
December 11, 2012, 03:02:45 AM
THEY HAD ME AT "Think of the elephant as the animal kingdom's equivalent of a slow cooker" BUT REALLY SOLD IT WITH "As far as we can tell there is definitely no harm to the elephants."

Elder Iptuous

#8
December 11, 2012, 03:10:16 AM
their urine could be sold as Elephant Bull Energy Drink.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#9
December 11, 2012, 05:32:28 AM
I was reassured that this is a great product and a wonderful idea for those poor elephants on that nature reserve because they tested it on zoo elephants first. That shows they really care about the animals and want to work with them, not just take shameless advantage of the creatures.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Sita

#10
December 11, 2012, 11:29:55 AM
I wonder who the hell was the first to think "Fuck, that elephant ate all our coffee beans. Guess I should follow it around and see if there's any salvageable in it's poop"
And then who was the first poor soul to drink it.
:ninja:
Laugh, even if you are screaming inside. Smile, because the world doesn't care if you feel like crying.

AFK

#11
December 11, 2012, 11:46:50 AM
Someone who ran out of Jenkem?
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#12
December 11, 2012, 04:39:56 PM
Quote from: Sita on December 11, 2012, 11:29:55 AM
I wonder who the hell was the first to think "Fuck, that elephant ate all our coffee beans. Guess I should follow it around and see if there's any salvageable in it's poop"
And then who was the first poor soul to drink it.

Well... coffee IS pretty addictive.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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