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How come I never get chosen as a "secret santa"?

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
 :sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#1
December 13, 2012, 06:21:04 PM
Before I answer the question I need some backstory.

1) What happened the last time you were chosen?

2) Did the recipient of your "generosity" ever fully recover?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

trippinprincezz13

#2
December 13, 2012, 06:22:12 PM
Suggest it at work as a way of bringing the company together.

Then be everyone's secret santa (regardless of whether anyone picks anyone else's name)
There's no sun shine coming through her ass, if you are sure of your penis.

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you, may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution.

If there is no order in your sexual life it may be difficult to stay with a whole skin.

Suu

#3
December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mangrove

#4
December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
December 13, 2012, 06:41:19 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 13, 2012, 06:21:04 PM
Before I answer the question I need some backstory.

1) What happened the last time you were chosen?

2) Did the recipient of your "generosity" ever fully recover?

1.  I was generous.  And I GRINNED.  And I was JOLLY.

2.  He's recovering nicely.  He's even learning to talk again...our way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
December 13, 2012, 06:42:01 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on December 13, 2012, 06:22:12 PM
Suggest it at work as a way of bringing the company together.

Then be everyone's secret santa (regardless of whether anyone picks anyone else's name)

Hmm...I already pretty much do that.  I just need to make it all Christmas-y and shit.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mangrove

#8
December 13, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.

I concede the point. Technically, the smell came from the rotting seafood you sewed into the linings of curtains & throw cushions you provided as part of a 'home makeover'.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
December 13, 2012, 06:53:02 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.

I concede the point. Technically, the smell came from the rotting seafood you sewed into the linings of curtains & throw cushions you provided as part of a 'home makeover'.

Wasn't me.  That's too much effort.  All you really need to do is run a siphon into the traps in their sink drains, through the hole that the sink's plug is connected.  Then they get whatever odors are in the drainpipes.

VOILA!  HOME IS MADE OVER!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#10
December 13, 2012, 07:29:02 PM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on December 13, 2012, 06:22:12 PM
Suggest it at work as a way of bringing the company together.

Then be everyone's secret santa (regardless of whether anyone picks anyone else's name)

YES
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#11
December 13, 2012, 07:29:33 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 13, 2012, 06:25:41 PM
We should do a board-wide Secret Santa.

Cause like... :lulz:

AND ALSO YES
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#12
December 13, 2012, 07:31:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:53:02 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:50:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:42:34 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on December 13, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 06:05:04 PM
:sad:

TGRR,
Stuffed to the fucking gills with the spirit of "giving".

Why no secret Santa? I'll tell you why. It's a simple, short answer: THE SMELL.

If people cannot find a reliable way to counteract or remove that odor, then no, you cannot be secret Santa again.

But I'm not the person generating the odor.  I feel that holding me responsible is unfair.

I concede the point. Technically, the smell came from the rotting seafood you sewed into the linings of curtains & throw cushions you provided as part of a 'home makeover'.

Wasn't me.  That's too much effort.  All you really need to do is run a siphon into the traps in their sink drains, through the hole that the sink's plug is connected.  Then they get whatever odors are in the drainpipes.

VOILA!  HOME IS MADE OVER!

Shortcut: Clog their vent pipe.

Bonus points for clogging it with a dead squirrel, but it doesn't really matter that much.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#13
December 13, 2012, 08:41:29 PM
Eating a nuclear vindaloo with a bottle of whiskey and then shitting the resulting mess into sacks to pass out to your co-workers isn't giving gifts. It's a biohazard in the making. Unless you're selling that stuff to NASA for rocket fuel, no one wants it.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Eater of Clowns

#14
December 13, 2012, 08:44:27 PM
My girlfriend got a party invitation where the Secret Santa is written at the bottom of the invitation.

So anyone who says they can't make it is now directly screwing over their gift recipient.

If I didn't know any better about the jackass that handed them out, I'd think it was a fantastic troll.   :lulz:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.
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