Author Topic: On Who I Am & What The Hell I'm Doing On Your Lawn!  (Read 15164 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: On Who I Am & What The Hell I'm Doing On Your Lawn!
« Reply #90 on: July 20, 2017, 07:04:21 pm »
I hope things improve.

If you can scrape $10 together, go get a 5 pound bucket of diatomaceous earth at the hardware store and spread it around the room.  It kills anything with an exoskeleton stone dead.

I'll see what I can do. Thanks! If I can seal the walls and baseboards I should be ok. I don't intend to be here after my lease is up end of August if possible.

After helping a friend of mine out with his leather business he went and bought me a bigass bag of this diatomaceous earth! It's a tan-white powder almost the consistency of baby powder or talc. It's now in a ring around my bed and along the baseboards. Fortunately my cell has a linoleum floor so I won't have to do the whole floor as long as my barrier holds. I also salted the earth  (:p) on my box spring.

Thanks for the tip! I still have a shit ton of the stuff and will be sharing some out to my neighbors. The more dead bugs the better!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Brother Mythos

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Re: On Who I Am & What The Hell I'm Doing On Your Lawn!
« Reply #91 on: July 21, 2017, 02:00:57 am »
Take care of yourself, Joseph.

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: On Who I Am & What The Hell I'm Doing On Your Lawn!
« Reply #92 on: March 07, 2019, 02:03:38 pm »
Take care of yourself, Joseph.

I have been doing my best, and I'm proud to say it's working!

It's been over a year since I wrote for this again. In that time there have been some very serious changes. For starters I no longer live in a hell hole. In November of 2017 I moved to a public housing facility that the city runs. I have a nice warm one-bedroom apartment and my rent is very low indeed. Not long after I first moved in despite my good fortune I was overwhelmed with suicidal impulses and checked myself into a psych ward.

My experiences there were not very dramatic or meaningful, the facility was very nice and the staff mostly helpful. After some medicine adjustments over the next couple of weeks I was finally able to compose myself well enough to leave.

That Christmas season I connected to old friends and my family in a way that was profound and helpful. I was still wrestling with the demon, but finally had a leg up on it. The bastard.

Over the following year of 2018 I continued to improve slowly but surely. Even took up part-time work here and there. I just did my taxes and I made about $8,000 last year from three different companies working as a temp mostly. At one point I was making too much money to continue receiving Medicare and food stamps. From July onward I managed to get by without Medicare and the county still provides me with Psychiatric Services. My medicines are inexpensive and I've been paying for them out of pocket. I still receive occasional Help From My Father, but for the most part have been able to sustain myself. I'm still not permanently employed, but my living costs are rather low and I'm used to going without a lot of things. I must count my blessings, for they are many.

My most notable Good Fortune is that I've had a steady girlfriend for nearly a year. She's a nurse and like me also has bipolar disorder. She understands that I have a sickness and has been very helpful and tolerant of my troubles. We love each other very much. It's actually kind of gross.

From my relationship I have received two more major blessings. I wrecked my car in October of 2017. One of my girlfriends co-workers had a spare car that they just gave me. I finally said my goodbyes to my old 1998 Toyota Camry and hello to a nice 2004 Dodge Intrepid in good condition. I was literally given a $1,500 car. This is helping me to do more temp work. More recently I just received a laptop computer from my girlfriend's brother. As soon as I have a permanent job I will get internet access and be able to do more advanced word processing and get back into making memes and doing research for my various other ambitious projects.

These things are not what has drug me out of depression, I did that with much help And medication, but they sure didn't hurt. I seem to keep falling upstairs. My good fortune has coincided with many low-key synchronistic events that I will not detail here because I Know and therefore generally do not speak about such things. Perhaps one day I will open up a new thread for such discussions. But I can sympathize with Cramulus as he experiments with expanding his consciousness through the Gurdjieff foundation. I'm not sure I spelled that right and not going to check right now.

In the thread of what I'm doing on your lawn, I'm biding my time and watching things here and elsewhere develop. I have over the years gotten to know many of you through Facebook. I admin a Facebook group called The International Discordian Society est 2015. I have also liked a fair number of the relevant discordian pages. I estimate that I have upwards of 30 discordian friends on Facebook. Most probably have no idea who I am here, but some of you've gotten to know me very well in that FB kind of sense. I curate my friends list very closely, and if you're on my Facebook I consider you genuinely a friend. Maybe we're not besties but I like you and respect you all. I also help admin for Holy Nonsense. It's QG's baby, but I've tried to be a helpful hand to hold while she labors.

What I'm doing here now is participating where I can and keeping myself connected to this particular group. My third eye sees something... Special here. Where the Good Ship PD is going I do not know, but I count myself amongst her crew. There is a reason this forum is still intact when all others have fallen apart. It's not down to any one spag, but I think this site serves as a beacon of sorts. It's a rallying point for those who are tired of the alt-right shit and want to learn about a more genuine form of discordian enlightenment. I have no idea how many lurkers and unsubscribed readers there are here, but I suspect that is not an insignificant number.

To sum up I intend to continue being here, both at PD and in an existential sense. I expect I will continue to develop and slowly grow stronger. I am steadily and surely coming back to life, and I'm starting to get ideas about what to do with it. They may not all be good ideas, but damn it I'm going to try to drag some of my dreams Kicking and Screaming into reality!

Hail Eris!!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

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Re: On Who I Am & What The Hell I'm Doing On Your Lawn!
« Reply #93 on: March 08, 2019, 06:54:44 am »
I'm rooting for you buddy. If you're bipolar then that puts you on my team. Yeah, it's a fucking curse but there's a blessing there too if you can reign it in.
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: On Who I Am & What The Hell I'm Doing On Your Lawn!
« Reply #94 on: March 08, 2019, 04:49:36 pm »
I'm rooting for you buddy. If you're bipolar then that puts you on my team. Yeah, it's a fucking curse but there's a blessing there too if you can reign it in.

Yeah man I love my manic phases, but they don't always lead to the best decision making. I was unmedicated for over 15 years. I'm hoping that with the mood stabilizers that I'm on I'll be able to ride the horse a little bit better when it comes around again. I've been having trouble sleeping recently and have other symptoms of mild agitated Mania. As long as I can get a grip on my sleeping pattern it should prove very productive...  I'm hoping.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019