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The terrorist threat has evolved

Started by Cain, January 21, 2013, 08:29:04 PM

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Cain

January 21, 2013, 08:29:04 PM
Once seen as a symbol of youth culture and Japanese soft power, Hello Kitty has now become an inspirational figure to terrorist masterminds all over the world, including this nefarious five year old from Pennsylvania:

Link

QuoteA 5-year-old Pennsylvania girl was suspended from kindergarten after she allegedly threatened to shoot herself and a friend with a pink plastic Hello Kitty bubble gun.

Officials at Mount Carmel Area Elementary School in Mount Carmel labeled the unnamed girl a "terrorist threat" over the January 10 incident, which occurred while she and a friend were waiting in line for a school bus, according to PennLive.

Robin Ficker, an attorney for the girl's parents, said the girl told her friend, "I'm going to shoot you and I will shoot myself" with her Hello Kitty bubble gun, which she didn't even have with her.

School officials then questioned both girls, grilling them for half an hour without their parents present. After the interrogation, the would-be 'shooter' was labeled a "terrorist threat" and suspended for 10 days. The school also ordered the kindergartner to be examined by a psychologist.

You'll notice how she cunningly threatened her helpless victims while the gun was not even present.  Truly a criminal genius.  Had it not been for the alertness and bravery of school officials, we could be mourning another tragic terrorist atrocity in America today.  God bless them, and their far-sighted actions.

Juana

#1
January 21, 2013, 08:43:40 PM
:facepalm: :lulz: I can't.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Pæs

#2
January 21, 2013, 08:53:59 PM
QuoteFicker asked the school principal to overturn the girl's suspension, but he refused. He did reduce the charge against her from terrorism to "threatening to harm another student." Her suspension was also shortened from 10 to 2 days.

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/341686#ixzz2Ie4xL1kw

I love that "terrorism" is an established charge in the kindergarten disciplinary system. I want to work at a kindergarten where the "Why was little Jimmy sent home today?" spreadsheet has a drop down for "bomb threats, biting, throwing toys, possession of lethal chemical agent".

Pæs

#3
January 21, 2013, 08:57:03 PM
If the offender had been armed with the weapon in question at the time of the threat, would it have been reasonable for one of the newly armed teachers to shoot her?

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
January 21, 2013, 08:57:33 PM
How can a SCHOOL order a psych eval?

WHAT THE GIBBERING FUCK?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pæs

#5
January 21, 2013, 09:00:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 21, 2013, 08:57:33 PM
How can a SCHOOL order a psych eval?

WHAT THE GIBBERING FUCK?
DON'T YOU WANT OUR CHILDREN TO BE SAFE?

WE HAVE TO TAKE ACTION AGAINST TERRORISTS NOW AND KEEP THEM OUT OF OUR SCHOOLS FOR AT LEAST TEN DAYS BEFORE ALLOWING THEM TO RETURN.

Cain

#6
January 21, 2013, 09:01:23 PM
Of course not!

The teacher and other students should bullrush the armed student.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
January 21, 2013, 09:03:22 PM
That kid has street cred for the rest of her life.

Some kid:  "I smoked when I was 12!"

This kid:  "I WAS DETAINED FOR TERRORISM WHEN I WAS 5.  FUCK OFF!"

On the other hand, she is now fucked over in every other way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Lenin McCarthy

#8
January 21, 2013, 09:04:37 PM
IF WE LET OUR CHILDREN HAVE HELLO KITTY BUBBLE GUNS, SOON THEY WILL DEMAND HELLO KITTY KALASHNIKOVS.

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
January 21, 2013, 09:10:17 PM
Obviously, we need new legislation cracking down on Hello Kitty ownership.

Especially the military-grade stuff.  Assault Kitties (the ones with pistol grips).
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pæs

#10
January 21, 2013, 09:13:17 PM
Dear Mr and Mrs Oh, I don't know, probably Muhammad Hussein or something,

We regret to inform you that in order to protect our students from your terrorist daughter we have had to suspend her for ten days. We hope that at the end of this suspension period, she can return to school, no longer a terrorist.

Regards,

Ms. Susan Nestico
Principal

Pæs

#11
January 21, 2013, 09:16:25 PM
QuoteFicker said he was hired because the girl's mother read that he had handled a similar case in Maryland. In that case, he represented a 6-year-old boy who was suspended by an elementary school for pointing at another student with his fingers folded like a gun and saying "pow."

School authorities called it a "serious incident," and said the boy "threatened to shoot" the other student.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#13
January 21, 2013, 10:01:09 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 21, 2013, 08:29:04 PM
Once seen as a symbol of youth culture and Japanese soft power, Hello Kitty has now become an inspirational figure to terrorist masterminds all over the world, including this nefarious five year old from Pennsylvania:

Link

QuoteA 5-year-old Pennsylvania girl was suspended from kindergarten after she allegedly threatened to shoot herself and a friend with a pink plastic Hello Kitty bubble gun.

Officials at Mount Carmel Area Elementary School in Mount Carmel labeled the unnamed girl a "terrorist threat" over the January 10 incident, which occurred while she and a friend were waiting in line for a school bus, according to PennLive.

Robin Ficker, an attorney for the girl's parents, said the girl told her friend, "I'm going to shoot you and I will shoot myself" with her Hello Kitty bubble gun, which she didn't even have with her.

School officials then questioned both girls, grilling them for half an hour without their parents present. After the interrogation, the would-be 'shooter' was labeled a "terrorist threat" and suspended for 10 days. The school also ordered the kindergartner to be examined by a psychologist.

You'll notice how she cunningly threatened her helpless victims while the gun was not even present.  Truly a criminal genius.  Had it not been for the alertness and bravery of school officials, we could be mourning another tragic terrorist atrocity in America today.  God bless them, and their far-sighted actions.

Clearly, the solution to this kind of mindless kindergarten violence is to ban bubble guns.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Salty

#14
January 21, 2013, 10:04:29 PM
Not far enough, think of all the lives we will save if we ban children!
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.
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