The best fucking appletini ever

[Rev Thwack]

So, why an appletini recipe? Well, if you stop before you get to the "add vodka" phase, you'll have an awesome frozen snack that's great when you want something a bit sweet and are tired of everything being filled with bullshit artificial crap.


You need:
2 granny smith apples
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup water
vodka (optional)


First you'll need to make a simple syrup. Mix the sugar and 1/2 cup of water in a small saucepan and cook on low, stirring the whole time until the sugar is fully dissolved and the water is no longer cloudy. Dump the syrup in your blender to cool.

Second, peel and core the apples. If you're not good at this there are machines that will do a great job for you. If you're not good at this and poor, you might want to grab three apples... I don't know man, develop some knife skills. Once you have them peeled and cored, chop them into pieces about 1 cubic inch, then dump them in the blender too.

Add the rest of the water to the blender, set to liquify, and go have a smoke... it'll take a bit to get this blended as much as you want. Once it seems like it's pretty well blended, use a cheesecloth or good mesh strainer to separate the liquid from the more solid chunks. Save the liquids, and while you're at it you can save the solids to make a pretty good applesauce wheat bread from... I might have to post that recipe later.


Take the liquid and pour it into an ice cube tray, then toss it in your freezer. It'll take about a day or so for them to set.


When you're ready to get good and drunk (when is that not the case?), pop a few of the applesicles into a glass and cover with vodka. If you blended everything enough then the apple flavor should be nice and strong, the sugar should make the vodka just smooth enough, and the vodka should cure you of that pesky sobriety problem. If for some reason it's hot or you have a sweet tooth and you are worried about things like driving or such, the applesicles make a good little treat by themselves without the vodka... just they're so much better with it.

[East Coast Hustle]

I like the basic concept, but who the FUCK drinks appletinis?

[LMNO]

Thank goodness I wasn't the only one thinking that.

There should either be a new name for this, or use a different frozen juice.  Hmm.  Blueberries?  Fresh cranberries?

[Rev Thwack]

I like the basic concept, but who the FUCK drinks appletinis?

Who the fuck drinks appletinis? WHO THE FUCK DRINKS APPLETINIS!?!?


Umm... someone with a few extra granny smith apples laying around, a bit of a sweet tooth, too much time, and a bottle of vodka laying around after they had played with turning the apples into popsicles?



Sometimes necessity is the mother of invention, other times it's boredom and a desire to dick around in the kitchen.

[East Coast Hustle]

I mean, I guess as long as you would never do it in public.

[Cain]

Who drinks Appletinis?

This guy. 



Yeah.  You don't wanna be this guy.

[Rev Thwack]

Who drinks Appletinis?

This guy. 



Yeah.  You don't wanna be this guy.

Wait, don't want to be his character who was a goof but well paid and got lots of tail, or don't want to be Zach Braff who is a goof but well paid and gets lots of tail? I'm confused...

[East Coast Hustle]

Yes.