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Testamonial:  And i have actually gone to a bar and had a bouncer try to start a fight with me on the way in. I broke his teeth out of his fucking mouth and put his face through a passenger side window of a car.

Guess thats what the Internet was build for, pussy motherfuckers taking shit in safety...

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The Wasteland

Started by Aucoq, March 08, 2013, 06:55:31 AM

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Aucoq

The Wasteland

For my entire life I've been wandering through the infinite expanse that is the Wasteland.  My sun-bleached hair is long and unkempt.  My beard reaches well below my chest, blowing about with the wind.  My face shows the signs of constant exposure, years of wrinkles etched into my visage.  My eyes, once bright and blue in my youth, are now dull and lifeless.  My tanned, leathery skin tightly stretches around my skeletal frame.  My legs are the only part of me that has anything remotely resembling muscle mass.  And they are the one part of me that constantly aches after walking from sun up to sun down, day after day.

I have no place to go, mind you.  I have never known a place to go to.  I have never met another living being.  I have never seen signs of civilization.  All I have ever known is the vast desert before me and the constant heat of the sun above me.  I am completely alone.  And that's the worst part.  When I stop to sleep at night, some relief finds me as the pain in my legs fade into a simple throbbing.  When the sun sets, I am granted a reprieve from its heat.  But the gnawing pain of my loneliness is ever present.  No matter if it is day or night, if I'm asleep or awake, it tears at my very soul.  And the Wasteland has its ways of making sure I never forget it.

I woke one morning to the sight of the sun just starting to climb over the horizon.  It looked like a giant red eye staring me down, judging me for crimes I didn't remember committing.  The remnants of night were starting to disperse, replaced by a brilliant blue sky.  White clouds lazily floated above me, clouds big enough to let their presence be known but not so big that they provided shelter from the sun's hellish wrath.

I stood up and shook the dust out of my hair and beard.  With eyelids still heavy from sleep, I continued my pilgrimage to nowhere in particular.  Hours passed as I continued to walk, driven by my innate desire to be somewhere, anywhere, but there.  The golden sun stood high in the sky.  The clouds had long since disappeared.  Yellow-brown earth sprawled out in front of me, continuing on until it met the blue sky.  A sigh escaped my dry, cracked lips.  And that's when I saw it.

I almost couldn't believe my eyes.  In the distance something shined like a star in the night sky.  I had never seen anything like it before.  Something within my being urged me to go to the alien light.  Without thinking, my steady, plodding walk became a jog which gave way to a full blown run.  I ran as hard as I could towards the light like a sailor towards land after a year at sea.

As I closed the distance, the nature of the light revealed itself.  The light was no beacon or sign.  It was sunlight reflecting off of the surface of water.  Before me stood a waist-high, round well made of light brown sandstone and filled to the brim with crystal clear water.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I had never seen the liquid substance before.  I quickly moved to the well and then stood shocked.  Hiding behind the well I saw it.  There, lying on the ground was a decapitated body, black and mummified from being left out in the harsh environment of the Wasteland.  I took a step back, unsure whether the well was a trap or not.  But with a mouth so dry that it felt like sandpaper, the idea of the water ridding me of my thirst was too great for me to ignore.

I stepped up to the well and looked down.  That's when I saw it.  At the bottom of the well sat another grim totem.  A gouged out eyeball silently stared up at me.  A tremor ran down my spine.  Once again I thought about whether or not drinking the water was a good idea, but by that point I had already made up my mind.  I cupped my hands and dipped them down into the cool, clean water, creating small ripples racing outwards towards the well's walls.  Cold and wet, the sensation was like nothing I had ever felt before.  My heart began to beat faster.  I lifted up my hands, full of water, and brought it to my chapped lips.  I was overwhelmed by pleasure as I drank the cold water.  My head swam.  And for the first time my frail body felt something close to strength.

That's when it happened.  The air and ground around me began to wave gently like the surface of a pond called to action by a breeze.  My heart raced.  My eyes darted back and forth.  My breathing picked up pace.  Everything around me began to ripple as if someone had dropped a pebble into reality itself.

I sat in the grey leather seat of my black BMW at a complete standstill on the highway.  I wore a grey business suit with a blue tie.  My hair was medium-length and slicked back.  My face was clean shaven.  I looked like a typical upper middle class businessman. 

I looked at the cars that surrounded me.  Some of the drivers looked stressed out of their minds.  Some looked like they were about to fall asleep.  Some were cursing under their breath and others had smiles on their faces.

I held up my wrist and looked down at my Rolex.  Something deep within my stomach clinched.  I was going to be late.  My boss was going to kill me.  To take my mind off of my impending scolding, I reached forward and turned on the radio.  The speakers blasted Johnny D. and Rick the Animal, a morning show whose hosts were mindlessly chattering away with unnatural energy for the time of day about the latest movie star who got arrested for a careless act.  As they talked, they used an army of wacky noises and sound bites for comedic effect.  I laid my head back against the hand-stitched headrest and closed my eyes, waiting for the traffic to move.


The vision ended as quickly as it had begun.  There I stood in the Wasteland with dry, cracked earth beneath my feet and the sun beating down on me from above.  The well and headless body were gone.  There was no sign that they were even there to begin with. 

A deep sigh escaped my parched lips before I continued on my journey.
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

The Good Reverend Roger

Nice.  Gonna riff on this later, if it's okay with you.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Wow, this was fantastic. Really nicely done.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Aucoq

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 08, 2013, 02:17:42 PM
Nice.  Gonna riff on this later, if it's okay with you.

It's fine with me. :)

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 08, 2013, 07:53:26 PM
Wow, this was fantastic. Really nicely done.

Thank you so much. I appreciate the kind words, you two. :)
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

McGrupp

I read this yesterday at work. It's really stuck with me. Nice work.

Aucoq

"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.