Author Topic: Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar  (Read 79177 times)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Well, shit.  I finally get time to get to PD, and everyone's buggered off.

I'm around! Just sporadically, because homework.

I have nine homework projects on my list, all due Monday or earlier. This means they're doable if I nail three a day.

I can do this. Deep breath. 
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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I am working very late tonight, and probably tomorrow as well.

This means that I will in fact have time to add to LOBB, once all the screaming asshats go home.

Yay!
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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I am working very late tonight, and probably tomorrow as well.

This means that I will in fact have time to add to LOBB, once all the screaming asshats go home.

THROW THEM OUT
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The Good Reverend Roger

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I am working very late tonight, and probably tomorrow as well.

This means that I will in fact have time to add to LOBB, once all the screaming asshats go home.

Yay!

Can't do it right now.  I have Jim and Larry and Mike falling through my door every ten seconds, blathering that THIS IS THE END. 

BULLSHIT it's the end.  It's just another damn day at <company name>, where failure IS an option, even when it isn't an option.  It's just another Goddamn blow up, another GIGANTIC FUCKING DISASTER, and gigantic disasters are WHAT WE DO.

Unlike Texas, though, we don't kill a bunch of people when we do it.  No, we just put on the engineering department shirts and cut holes in the walls with phasers and shit, just like OUR IDOL, MR SCOTT.

LEMME IN THE JEFFRIES TUBE, CAPTAIN!  I'M FULL OF TINIER MEN!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

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I am working very late tonight, and probably tomorrow as well.

This means that I will in fact have time to add to LOBB, once all the screaming asshats go home.

Yay!

Can't do it right now.  I have Jim and Larry and Mike falling through my door every ten seconds, blathering that THIS IS THE END. 

BULLSHIT it's the end.  It's just another damn day at <company name>, where failure IS an option, even when it isn't an option.  It's just another Goddamn blow up, another GIGANTIC FUCKING DISASTER, and gigantic disasters are WHAT WE DO.

Unlike Texas, though, we don't kill a bunch of people when we do it.  No, we just put on the engineering department shirts and cut holes in the walls with phasers and shit, just like OUR IDOL, MR SCOTT.

LEMME IN THE JEFFRIES TUBE, CAPTAIN!  I'M FULL OF TINIER MEN!

 :lulz:
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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People talking about their pets all the time is as annoying as people talking about their kids all the time.
I will say that nothing brightens my mood better than cute/silly/stupid cat videos.

I've had cats, dogs and gerbils. Currently have two cats. They are very unimpressive and rarely do anything worthy of taking a picture of.

Seriously, that's the other thing I don't get. I don't even talk about my kids as much as these people talk about their cats, and when I do it's because they did something unusual. Because the fact is, kids aren't really that interesting unless they DO SOMETHING UNUSUAL.

A cat story is interesting when the cat does something unusual. But these people will say things like "And then Tommy curls up into this round little ball and purrs! It's so adorable! And when he wakes up he stretches, and he gets all long like this, and then he kind of does this little head-shake, oh my god it's so cute, and then he starts grooming himself I can hardly stand it, he's such a SILLY BILLY! And then he..."

FFS.


Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Elder Iptuous

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haha.
hadn't heard a Tick reference in a long time...

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Also, cats are not needy, dogs are.  And they're funny because they're assholes.

Dog: Sleeps 90% of the time, craps outside. Eats and drinks whatever. Likes to go to the beach once in a while.

Cat: sleeps all day, wakes me up every two hours all night long, only eats food that's the right brand and is half-crunchy, half-canned, won't drink day-old water, craps in a box that needs cleaning and changing all the time, is all the time wanting to be petted or else walking around meowing aimlessly at dust motes or imaginary ghosts or because the water in their bowl is slightly more than eight hours old.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Good Reverend Roger

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haha.
hadn't heard a Tick reference in a long time...

The Tick was and is AWESOME.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Also, cats are not needy, dogs are.  And they're funny because they're assholes.

Dog: Sleeps 90% of the time, craps outside. Eats and drinks whatever. Likes to go to the beach once in a while.

Cat: sleeps all day, wakes me up every two hours all night long, only eats food that's the right brand and is half-crunchy, half-canned, won't drink day-old water, craps in a box that needs cleaning and changing all the time, is all the time wanting to be petted or else walking around meowing aimlessly at dust motes or imaginary ghosts or because the water in their bowl is slightly more than eight hours old.

Dog: Is happy to see you when you get home. Watches your shit and lets you know when somebody comes around or something is happening (ok, sometimes that's just another dog passing by, but still.) Bites the fuck out of people who break in your house or act threatening towards you. Would happily throw his life away to save your ass.

Cat: Is aloof until you piss him off with some perceived affront, then goes on a vendetta pissing on your furniture, shitting in your bathtub and puking on your bed.
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East Coast Hustle

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Also, cats are not needy, dogs are.  And they're funny because they're assholes.

Dog: Sleeps 90% of the time, craps outside. Eats and drinks whatever. Likes to go to the beach once in a while.

Cat: sleeps all day, wakes me up every two hours all night long, only eats food that's the right brand and is half-crunchy, half-canned, won't drink day-old water, craps in a box that needs cleaning and changing all the time, is all the time wanting to be petted or else walking around meowing aimlessly at dust motes or imaginary ghosts or because the water in their bowl is slightly more than eight hours old.

Yeah, this. Dogs are easygoing pals who are usually happy with ANY PROGRAM. Cats are neurotic self-obsessed freaks who can't even be trained to provide any valuable services.
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Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Elder Iptuous

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haha.
hadn't heard a Tick reference in a long time...

The Tick was and is AWESOME.

coworker of mine saw the tick pin ive got stuck to my cubicle wall and mentioned that his son was watching them and they were pretty funny, so i lent him my Tick Omnibusi. 
wish Edlund was still doing them...  :cry:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Also, cats are not needy, dogs are.  And they're funny because they're assholes.

Dog: Sleeps 90% of the time, craps outside. Eats and drinks whatever. Likes to go to the beach once in a while.

Cat: sleeps all day, wakes me up every two hours all night long, only eats food that's the right brand and is half-crunchy, half-canned, won't drink day-old water, craps in a box that needs cleaning and changing all the time, is all the time wanting to be petted or else walking around meowing aimlessly at dust motes or imaginary ghosts or because the water in their bowl is slightly more than eight hours old.

Dog: Is happy to see you when you get home. Watches your shit and lets you know when somebody comes around or something is happening (ok, sometimes that's just another dog passing by, but still.) Bites the fuck out of people who break in your house or act threatening towards you. Would happily throw his life away to save your ass.

Cat: Is aloof until you piss him off with some perceived affront, then goes on a vendetta pissing on your furniture, shitting in your bathtub and puking on your bed.

Yes. And most of the time you don't even know WHY. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG, YOU EVIL BASTARD?

Cats are like that one friend that you don't really know why you tolerate, because they want things from you all the time but don't actually add anything to your life.

Oh, except for brain parasites.

Thanks, cats!
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Also, cats are not needy, dogs are.  And they're funny because they're assholes.

Dog: Sleeps 90% of the time, craps outside. Eats and drinks whatever. Likes to go to the beach once in a while.

Cat: sleeps all day, wakes me up every two hours all night long, only eats food that's the right brand and is half-crunchy, half-canned, won't drink day-old water, craps in a box that needs cleaning and changing all the time, is all the time wanting to be petted or else walking around meowing aimlessly at dust motes or imaginary ghosts or because the water in their bowl is slightly more than eight hours old.

Yeah, this. Dogs are easygoing pals who are usually happy with ANY PROGRAM. Cats are neurotic self-obsessed freaks who can't even be trained to provide any valuable services.

In theory, they kill rats and mice.

However, they also, apparently, ATTRACT rats and mice, so WTF???
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Nephew Twiddleton

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Dogs: curl up on the rug while you read a book or type on the computer.

Cats: sit on your book or keyboard because they can and and see that you're paying more attention to those things.
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TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS