AND FURTHERMORE AND BECAUSE AND FUCK YOU AND I GOT NOTHING TO SAY.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

PREACH IT, BROTHER!

It hit me while trying to go to sleep in my comfy little box-apartment. I practically heard the hammer cock and realized that NOT getting out of bed and burning an extra hour or so to see what was behind the impulse would have been weak as fuck. It would surely be much less rewarding to stay comfy and get an extra hour of sleep in the end. Also possible ghost bullets.

I don't really care if spiritual things are real or not. I'm happy to have been motivated by the ridiculous idea that HARRIET TUBMAN hijacked some of my neurons and seemingly said, "Get your tired ass up and write a few things down white boy."

This is the kind of thing you invite into your world when you PD before bed.

It's kind of beautiful.

The most terrible things tend to be.

That's what my boyfriend says.

[The Wizard Joseph]

PREACH IT, BROTHER!

It hit me while trying to go to sleep in my comfy little box-apartment. I practically heard the hammer cock and realized that NOT getting out of bed and burning an extra hour or so to see what was behind the impulse would have been weak as fuck. It would surely be much less rewarding to stay comfy and get an extra hour of sleep in the end. Also possible ghost bullets.

I don't really care if spiritual things are real or not. I'm happy to have been motivated by the ridiculous idea that HARRIET TUBMAN hijacked some of my neurons and seemingly said, "Get your tired ass up and write a few things down white boy."

This is the kind of thing you invite into your world when you PD before bed.

It's kind of beautiful.

The most terrible things tend to be.

That's what my boyfriend says.

Then I must assume that he is both wise and... in a position to know. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

PREACH IT, BROTHER!

It hit me while trying to go to sleep in my comfy little box-apartment. I practically heard the hammer cock and realized that NOT getting out of bed and burning an extra hour or so to see what was behind the impulse would have been weak as fuck. It would surely be much less rewarding to stay comfy and get an extra hour of sleep in the end. Also possible ghost bullets.

I don't really care if spiritual things are real or not. I'm happy to have been motivated by the ridiculous idea that HARRIET TUBMAN hijacked some of my neurons and seemingly said, "Get your tired ass up and write a few things down white boy."

This is the kind of thing you invite into your world when you PD before bed.

It's kind of beautiful.

The most terrible things tend to be.

That's what my boyfriend says.

This one's still alive, then?  You haven't mentioned him recently, so I figured you threw him in the ocean.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

PREACH IT, BROTHER!

It hit me while trying to go to sleep in my comfy little box-apartment. I practically heard the hammer cock and realized that NOT getting out of bed and burning an extra hour or so to see what was behind the impulse would have been weak as fuck. It would surely be much less rewarding to stay comfy and get an extra hour of sleep in the end. Also possible ghost bullets.

I don't really care if spiritual things are real or not. I'm happy to have been motivated by the ridiculous idea that HARRIET TUBMAN hijacked some of my neurons and seemingly said, "Get your tired ass up and write a few things down white boy."

This is the kind of thing you invite into your world when you PD before bed.

It's kind of beautiful.

The most terrible things tend to be.

That's what my boyfriend says.

This one's still alive, then?  You haven't mentioned him recently, so I figured you threw him in the ocean.

Ultimately, all boyfriends end up in the ocean.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

PREACH IT, BROTHER!

It hit me while trying to go to sleep in my comfy little box-apartment. I practically heard the hammer cock and realized that NOT getting out of bed and burning an extra hour or so to see what was behind the impulse would have been weak as fuck. It would surely be much less rewarding to stay comfy and get an extra hour of sleep in the end. Also possible ghost bullets.

I don't really care if spiritual things are real or not. I'm happy to have been motivated by the ridiculous idea that HARRIET TUBMAN hijacked some of my neurons and seemingly said, "Get your tired ass up and write a few things down white boy."

This is the kind of thing you invite into your world when you PD before bed.

It's kind of beautiful.

The most terrible things tend to be.

That's what my boyfriend says.

This one's still alive, then?  You haven't mentioned him recently, so I figured you threw him in the ocean.

Ultimately, all boyfriends end up in the ocean.

It's where they belong, really.  It's not that you're cruel, it's just that they don't listen and you have to make examples of them.  Society must be protected.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

PREACH IT, BROTHER!

It hit me while trying to go to sleep in my comfy little box-apartment. I practically heard the hammer cock and realized that NOT getting out of bed and burning an extra hour or so to see what was behind the impulse would have been weak as fuck. It would surely be much less rewarding to stay comfy and get an extra hour of sleep in the end. Also possible ghost bullets.

I don't really care if spiritual things are real or not. I'm happy to have been motivated by the ridiculous idea that HARRIET TUBMAN hijacked some of my neurons and seemingly said, "Get your tired ass up and write a few things down white boy."

This is the kind of thing you invite into your world when you PD before bed.

It's kind of beautiful.

The most terrible things tend to be.

That's what my boyfriend says.

This one's still alive, then?  You haven't mentioned him recently, so I figured you threw him in the ocean.

Ultimately, all boyfriends end up in the ocean.

It's where they belong, really.  It's not that you're cruel, it's just that they don't listen and you have to make examples of them.  Society must be protected.

I'm really just being responsible.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Actually, this is a new one, and he might not end up in the ocean. Neither will Charley, but that's just because Charley is married so throwing him into the ocean is really his wife's responsibility.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Roger, can I pop the flyer version of this into Holy Nonsense, or would you like me to revert it back to the original version? (fuck off you can't use it is also an option)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger, can I pop the flyer version of this into Holy Nonsense, or would you like me to revert it back to the original version? (fuck off you can't use it is also an option)

I'd like to see what you can do with it.  Or you can let me do a mild mod to it first. blending the first and second rant.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

This is the text of the flyer version, have at it with a hatchet?

Get out there and do it

Look, you bastards, it ISN'T treason, and I will NOT confess.  It IS NOT heresy, and I will NOT recant.  Sure, I did it, and so would YOU, if you had any balls.  Johnny Cash did it, and flipped everyone the bird.  James Brown did it, and brayed laughter out the window of his car, while cops chased him across FOUR STATES.  Patrick Henry did it, just to show he wasn't afraid to stick his neck in a noose.  But DOING it is not the same thing as TALKING about it.  You'll scream 'YEEHAW' at that scabby little wimp Ted Nugent, and you will 'HELL YEAH' at Goddamn Fox News down at your local saloon, but THAT'S NOT DOING IT.
Martin Luther King did it in jail, Mohammad Ali did it to a federal judge's face.  Gandhi did it in the face of the entire British empire.  Ozzy Osbourne did it while pissing on the Alamo, and you didn't see a single po'bucker with the GUTS to punch him out for it.  They were small, crawling things, and he was a raging maniac that could not give ONE SOLITARY DAMN what anyone thought.
Martin Luther nailed it to the church door, Schindler did it to the Nazis, Joe Hill did it to the man until they KILLED him... and... and... and...FURTHERMORE
Loving did it to the state of Virginia and Ru Paul did it to a million screaming bigots.  Wayne Newton did it to the Las Vegas mob, Daniel Shays did it to George Washington, right after Washington did it to King George III. 
And what about you?  Did YOU do it?  I bet you didn't.  I bet you PLAN to do it, or SHOULD have done it, or TALK A REALLY GOOD GAME ABOUT IT.  I bet you elbow your buddies and tell them you're gonna DO IT one fine day, just not right now, on account of the game is on, pass the goddamn Miller High Life.
BUT REMEMBER
Louis Armstrong did it and Scatman John does it, and Medgar Evers did it til they SHOT him, and Sitting Bull did it ALL DAMN DAY, and Chocise and Geronimo just DIDN'T GIVE A CRAP and KEPT DOING IT, long after it had gone out of fashion.
So spare me the stories about how you're GONNA do it, if they by Jesus PUSH YOU ONE MORE TIME, because they've pushed you YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN LIFE, and you didn't do DICK.
HOWEVER
The FUNNIEST part is, Obama didn't do this to you, and Dick Cheney didn't either.  Leon Blankenfein didn't do it to you, nor did Henry Kissinger or Robert MacNamara or Pope John Paul II.  No, you stupid punk, YOU did this to you, and so if you really ever get the urge to GO AHEAD AND DO IT, just punch yourself in your own stupid face. Then you can get up and do it to the rest of the bastards who have it coming.
But while you're doing it, SHUT THE HELL UP. I'm tired of hearing about it, and how you're gonna do it. 
Some day.
Bradley Manning did it while they tortured him, and Julian Assange and Edward Snowden did it and ran like hell, laughing like mad bastards.  King Canute did it up to his knees in the ocean, and the dance band on the Titanic did it while the ocean was coming to them.  Aaron Swartz did it at MIT and Michael Hastings did it on the front page, and look where that got THEM. Jackie Robinson did it for the love of the game and Rosa Parks did it just because HER FEET HURT.
John Dillinger did it every chance he got, and he didn't stop til they shot him from AMBUSH, because he was TOO MUCH for them to deal with MANO.E.MANO.  Billy the Kid did it until he was shot in the back in the DARK, for THE SAME GODDAMN REASON, and, you know, I'm trying to say...
BESIDES THAT
Neil Armstrong did it in vacuum, death by boiling blood less than TWO INCHES AWAY.  Sophie Scholl did it until they chopped her head off. C Everett Koop did it while his boss screamed and BOTH sides of the aisle wanted him dead!  Huey Newton did it and H Rap Brown did it and Angela Davis NEVER STOPPED DOING IT, and she'll kick your junk right up around your ears TO THIS DAY if you give her crap about it.
So there's no reason YOU can't do it, except for maybe all those Goddamn EXCUSES you have for NOT doing it and I tell ya, The Crack awaits you, you horrible little monkeys.  So don't tell me WHY you can't do it, because
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. 
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE
Audie Murphy did it and Sergeant York did it AND Smedley Butler did it and then had the STONES to come home and tell the TRUTH about it.  Amelia Earhardt did it, Liberace did it, and the landing craft at Normandy were NUT.TO.BUTT FULL OF BASTARDS DOING IT.
And me? I did it on a cold March day with no gloves on, blowing kisses at cameras and quaking in my boots. I did it on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial under the disapproving glare of a security guard. I did it on some Anonymous January with a megaphone and the whole world watching. My mom did it on the docks and escaped from the handcuffs. My grandmother did it in combat boots. My great-grandmother did it at the polling booth, then her husband had to arrest her and feed the kids alone that night.
So, yeah.  Tell me how you're gonna do it.  But save us both the trouble, and tell me AFTER you do it.

The thing about

"Give me Liberty
or Give me Death"

is that it's not a threat at all, it's just an announcement of the fact that you are going to be FREE ALL OVER THE PLACE and if they don't like it, they'll have to kill you first.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Is good.

[Doktor Howl]

TWJ, here you go.

[Doktor Howl]

Look, you fuckers, it ISN'T treason, and I will NOT confess.  It IS NOT heresy, and I will NOT recant.  Sure, I fucking did it, and so would YOU, if you had any fucking balls.  Johnny Cash did it, and flipped everyone the bird.  James Brown did it, and brayed laughter out the window of his car, while cops chased him across FOUR STATES.  Patrick Henry did it, just to show he wasn't afraid to stick his neck in a noose.  But you WON'T do it.  You'll TALK about it.  You'll scream 'YEEHAW' at that scabby little wimp Ted Nugent, and you will 'HELL YEAH' at Goddamn Fox News down at your local saloon, but you WON'T FUCKING DO IT.

Martin Luther King did it in jail, Mohammad Ali did it to a federal judge's face.  Gandhi did it in the face of the entire British empire.  Ozzy Osbourne did it while pissing on the Alamo, and you didn't see a single po'bucker with the GUTS to punch him out for it.  They were small, crawling things, and he was a raging maniac that was too fucked up to give a DAMN what anyone thought.

Martin Luther nailed it to the church door, Schindler did it to the Nazis, Joe Hill did it to the man until they KILLED him...and...and...and...

FURTHERMORE

Loving did it to the state of Virginia and Ru Paul did it to a million screaming bigots.  Wayne Newton did it to the Las Vegas mob, Daniel Shays did it to George Washington, right after Washington did it to King George III. 

And what about you?  Did YOU do it?  I bet you didn't.  I bet you PLAN to do it, or SHOULD have done it, or TALK A REALLY GOOD GAME ABOUT IT.  I bet you elbow your buddies and tell them you're gonna DO IT one fine day, just not right now, on account of the game is on, pass the fucking Miller High Life.

BUT REMEMBER

Louis Armstrong did it and Scatman John does it, and Medgar Evers did it til they SHOT him, and Sitting Bull did it ALL DAMN DAY, and Chocise and Geronimo just DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK and KEPT DOING IT, long after it had gone out of fashion.

So spare me the stories about how you're GONNA do it, if they by Jesus PUSH YOU ONE MORE TIME, because they've pushed you YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN LIFE, and you didn't do SHIT, and you WON'T NOW.

HOWEVER

Chelsea Manning did it while they tortured her, and Eric Snowden did it and ran like hell, laughing like a mad bastard.  King Canute did it up to his knees in the ocean, and the dance band on the Titanic did it while the ocean was coming to them.  Jackie Robinson did it for the love of the game and Rosa Parks did it just because HER FEET HURT.

John Dillinger did it every chance he got, and he didn't stop til they shot him from AMBUSH, because he was TOO MUCH for them to deal with MANO-E-MANO.  Billy the Kid did it until he was shot in the back in the DARK, for THE SAME GODDAMN REASON, and, you know, I'm trying to say...

BESIDES THAT

Neil Armstrong did it in vacuum, death by boiling blood less than TWO INCHES AWAY.  C Everett Koop did it while his boss screamed and BOTH sides of the aisle wanted him dead!  Huey Newton did it and H Rap Brown did it and Angela Davis NEVER STOPPED DOING IT, and she'll kick your junk right up around your ears TO THIS DAY if you give her any shit about it.

So there's no reason YOU can't do it, except for maybe all those Goddamn EXCUSES you have for NOT doing it and I tell ya, The Crack awaits you, you horrible little monkeys.  So don't tell me WHY you can't do it, because I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.  YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE

Audie Murphy did it and Sergeant York did it AND Smedley Butler did it and then had the STONES to come home and tell the TRUTH about it.  Amelia Earhardt did it, Liberace did it, and the landing craft at Normandy were NUT-TO-BUTT FULL OF FUCKERS DOING IT.

The FUNNIEST part is, Obama didn't do this to you, and Dick Cheney didn't either.  Leon Blankenfein didn't do it to you, nor did Henry Kissinger or Robert MacNamara or Pope John Paul II.  No, you stupid shit, YOU did this to you, and so if you really ever get the urge to GO AHEAD AND DO IT, just punch yourself in your own stupid face.

But while you're doing it, SHUT THE FUCK UP.  I'm tired of hearing about it, and how you're gonna do it. 

Some day.

OR KILL ME.

[The Wizard Joseph]

TWJ, here you go.

Awesome. Be on for tonight for sure.