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Apricot Bastards

Started by Q. G. Pennyworth, March 22, 2013, 11:10:07 PM

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Q. G. Pennyworth

March 22, 2013, 11:10:07 PM
Don't know if I posted this here before

I once made a batch of cookies called "Apricot Bastards"
They were supposed to be Apricot Pinwheels
But the wax paper broke
And they turned into a homogeneous mess
Of walnuts,
apricot jam,
and dough
I rolled them up anyway
And shipped them away
They were so delicious, someone got shot at.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#1
March 22, 2013, 11:17:29 PM
I don't know why, but "apricot bastards" tickles me in the same place as crickem nigfops.  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

navkat

#2
March 25, 2013, 11:58:06 PM
A caudre of discordian wimmins.

Making stuff.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#3
March 26, 2013, 12:58:50 AM
The meter would be so much better if I could finish with "someone got shot."

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
March 26, 2013, 12:59:39 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 26, 2013, 12:58:50 AM
The meter would be so much better if I could finish with "someone got shot."

Stabbed works.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#5
March 26, 2013, 01:10:31 AM
But someone legitimately got shot at, and the cookies were a key point of the altercation. Mind you, the quality of the cookies were not a relevant factor in events, but it was mentioned in the ill-fated text message.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
March 26, 2013, 01:12:47 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 26, 2013, 01:10:31 AM
But someone legitimately got shot at, and the cookies were a key point of the altercation. Mind you, the quality of the cookies were not a relevant factor in events, but it was mentioned in the ill-fated text message.

Wow.  You bastards take your cookies seriously.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#7
March 26, 2013, 01:13:37 AM
This is why I don't ship baked goods anymore.

navkat

#8
March 26, 2013, 01:16:51 AM
I once got forced at gunpoint to make an entire batch of Raspberry Fuckyouniggas for the circus act opening for Mitt Romney and the Amoebas at the Irving in NY.

But I got my revennge.

That wasn't Marzipan, fuckers.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#9
March 26, 2013, 01:19:34 AM
Now I want a rudely named baked goods party  :argh!:

navkat

#10
March 26, 2013, 01:20:02 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on March 26, 2013, 01:19:34 AM
Now I want a rudely named baked goods party  :argh!:

<3
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