One-Liners

[Cuddlefish]

Give me your best discordian or non-discordian one-liners. The good ones will make it into the BIP2013 in the form of margin notes, crazy footnotes or some other form of general filler for the large empty white spaces. They don't necessarily have to be related to the BIP directly, but maybe keep it in mind, yeh?

And also, hi. How are you guys.

[Cuddlefish]

If you guys don't do this for me, I'm just gonna cut out clippings of poorly translated refrigerator instruction manuals and use those. Just a heads up.

[EK WAFFLR]

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
Terry Pratchett

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Terry Pratchett

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Terry Pratchett

[Pergamos]

"A conclusion is just where you stopped thinking"

"A black sheep is still a sheep"

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Mine:

Nothing is true, everything's on fire.

Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  Kick a man IN THE NADS, you've made a friend for life.

Women SAY they'd like men to THINK a little more.  But they don't, not really.

I am as likely to attain Nirvana as is Ernest Hemingway.  Mankind was meant to struggle.

PILLS HERE!

Shit Roger has actually said in conversation, stripped of context:
1.  I've seriously considered having my head lasered.
2.  No, I'm pretty sure I don't have rabies, but thanks for asking.
3.  Ask ECH.  He's always given me good advice.  In a Redman sort of way.
4.  If you're going to wreck your motorcycle, at least be listening to Elvis while you're doing it.
5.  You can't really understand Tucson until a hornet flies up the leg of your shorts and goes batshit.

[EK WAFFLR]

One more from Pratchett:


"If you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you're going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong."

[AFK]

You'll find what you are looking for in the last place you didn't look.

[EK WAFFLR]

"Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal."
― Neil Gaiman

"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."
― Neil Gaiman,

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

If you're going to be a dick, you should at least be right.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"But then I realized I was preaching to tiny monkeys in too small jackets and nobody can hear me over the sound of them grinding their own organs."
- A.P. O'Stacey

[LMNO]

Attn: Faust.

Please give Dimo access to the memebomb database.

[MMMW]

Ass-hats are their own sock puppets.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

This is my cult leader uniform.

[Richter]

Me:

Ask a question, you will get an answer.  This is your only warning.
If they knew what I was going to do with a language, they'd have never taught me one.
Talking religion, history has shown, is perfect for getting you burned, tortured, or nailed to things.
Yes I'm evil, but does that make me a bad person?
You blow your mother with that mouth?
I can only "make" someone do something if I am standing over them with a cattle prod, I'll ask them though.
100% exists only in textbooks or insufficiently large samples.
Until you've mastered the holes you were given at birth you shouldn't get more.

[Juana]

"He was born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad, and that was his only patrimony." - Rafael Sabbatini, in Scaramouche

SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE SHEER FASCINATION OF DOING IT, said Death. OR FOR FAME. OR BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T.
– Terry Pratchet