BIP 2013 Production Photos

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

F (circled) IS FOR "YOU ARE F-----", MISTER. THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. SEE ME IN MY OFFICE AFTER SCHOOL. YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO.

[Doktor Howl]

I have a foreword written in my head.  Oh, my, yes.  Unfortunately, I shall be busy until noon.

Then I will poop.

[Doktor Howl]

Or maybe not.

Introduction

A lot of things come to mind when you hear the word "Discordianism", but most of those words are inspired by terminally stoned people who think the hot dog joke is still funny.  This isn't what this book is about.  This book is about seeing the world the way it IS, rather than the way you'd like it to be.

Some have called us "The doom & gloom discordians", or "The horrormirth crowd", or "Those horrible bastards at peedee", but most of those are on Facebook and can thus be safely ignored.  The impression they have developed - that we are all horror and no mirth - is mistaken; we DO laugh, but it's a different kind of laugh.  Not a healthly laugh, granted, but it's a laugh and that counts.

The reason we laugh is that the general level of chaos (and, not coindentally, stupidity) in the world has reached a point where it can only be described as "poetry in motion".  It is a symphony of short-sighted thinking, SNAFUs, and visits from the Fuckup Fairy.  Just last week, a Sussex police officer chased himself around for 20 minutes, because the CCTV operator identified him as a potential burglar.  So when we are criticized for not doing enough for Eris, we merely point out that anything we could do would be redundant.  So shut up.

I am not going to talk about the authors of this book...They can, and have, spoken for themselves, as you will shortly see.  Instead, I'd like to touch on the environment in which this book was written, principiadiscordia.com.  PD was formed in late 2002, under the banner of the pinealists, and quickly melted down.  By 2005/2006, PD was taken over by East Coast Hustle, and the truly creative period began. 

To understand why this happened, you have to understand East Coast Hustle.  He is a lumbering brute of a man who allows unhindered creativity mostly because being a forum Nazi would cut into his busy schedule of drinking Portland and stomping on lesser mortals.  He is the absentee slumlord of our little community, and when he does come by, we are very careful to not allow his shadow to touch us.  We're no fools, this is not our first rodeo.

In any case, some serious writing was done between 2006 and the present day, by members current and past, resulting in a half-dozen or so books and a quantity of pamphlets and leaflets that would make Leon Trotski's festering corpse weep openly.

The purpose of most of this writing is and was to assist ourselves in seeing the world with the fewest amount of filters.  We are neither conservative nor liberal, at least in the modern sense of those two words, because both of those concepts are monstrously thick filters that don't allow you to see anything.  Nor are we religiously affilliated; our members represent every major Western religion, plus some knockoffs of Eastern religions that would make their founders gnash their rotten dead teeth in fury.  No, we have no populist agenda, but rather a driving need to push your face into the poop you left on the carpet and call you a bad dog.  Because you are, you know.

This is the part where an introduction would normally wrap up.  The clock tells me it's 9AM, and that I have things to do.  The pills tell me, "There are no clocks", so I shall continue just a little longer.

As you read through the horrible drivel and brain-damaged filth that follows this introduction, more than a few things you trip across will make you angry.  They will offend your filters.  This, of course, is the entire point of the exercise.  Those filters you wear that tell you what's Good & Right and what's Bad & Wrong are bad for you, in the same manner that The Future is bad for you.

So we wrote this to help you with those filters, and to help you with The Future.  We, ourselves, have abandoned both, and ran away to the late 1970s, and we only kept the Good Stuff.  We would have taken you with us, but there wasn't room in the time machine for all of you, and frankly, we never really liked you anyway. 

And here is the Good Stuff. 

The Good Reverend Roger
June 26th, 2013

[LMNO]

That needs to be the intro to everything, always.

[Doktor Howl]

Back cover to follow.

[Doktor Howl]

PUT THIS BOOK DOWN!

It contains all the wrong values, spewed forth by the deranged folk at principiadiscordia.com, and isn't good for your health and general state of mind.  The degenerates who contributed to this book aren't on your side, and want to make you laugh at things that good folk, decent folk won't even bring up. 

The sort of garbage spewed in this book utterly justifies the intrusive nature of the present governing principles of most modern world governments...And if these governments had any sense at all, everyone who wrote this crap would be whisked away in the middle of the night to be handed over to thugs and body perverts at the sort of facilities that have made the CIA famous for their good manners and restraint.

Look, you and I know that you're a good person, and that you're just looking for answers.  Looking to see just what the hell is really going on.  The truly evil part of this book is that the authors  hint at these answers, but really just give you tons of new questions.  Reading this book will change you.  Specifically, it will make you a mad person, and everyone else will crowd over to the other side of the bus.  So put it down, jackass, because there are just some things you really don't want to hear.

[Doktor Howl]

Shit.  Now I've got the Holies™.

[LMNO]

Uh oh.  I thought that guy was dead, again.

[Doktor Howl]

Uh oh.  I thought that guy was dead, again.

It never stopped the fucker before. 

[Cuddlefish]

Very nice. Now, the question is this: I have an 'editors preface,' an 'introduction' and a 'forward.' Which goes first?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Editor's Preface goes first.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Is there an Epilogue yet? I'm feeling something that might be an Epilogue.

[Cuddlefish]

Is there an Epilogue yet? I'm feeling something that might be an Epilogue.

There is an exiting piece which I'm calling an 'afterword.' But, again, no rules, right?

[Doktor Howl]

Very nice. Now, the question is this: I have an 'editors preface,' an 'introduction' and a 'forward.' Which goes first?

"Foreword".

And it typically goes in as Editor, Foreword, introduction.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

This is going to be amazing. I can't wait to see it.