ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO

[Junkenstein]

Friends!

It is time for the ruling council to formally pass the buck to a new MEXICO. We have plundered all we can from this position, and are quite frankly, bored.

Thus we now open nominations for the new MEXICO.

So far the candidates are:

Known self confessed lizard person TGGR - He has made claims that he will deliver the second part of the joke. His is a Known and self confessed lizard person. These factors must surely weigh upon your decision.

Deposed Mexico EOC - No second part of the joke. Claimed you would come crawling back to him. Will you?

The Current interim ruling Junta - We never wanted this. But we have gifted all we could while we got it. BORED NOW.

New candidates may apply now.

Standard voting rules for new MEXICOS apply. All decisions ultimately arbitrary and final. No arguments.


So rejoice, a new MEXICO will soon be upon us.

[LMNO]

I played it safe and voted for all three. 

[Junkenstein]

I have played it safer still and placed you into the poll. We wish no further part in this. We have never claimed to have the second part of the joke.

It was, indeed,  a most cunning ruse by our devious selves to help extricate our properly acquired new found wealth.

Warm Regards,

The soon to flee Ruling Peoples Party for Peace Pie Prosperity punctuation and Pelicans.


NEW CHALLENGERLMNO - Probably not a lizard person. Stance on the second part of the joke undeclared.

[LMNO]

IF ELECTED MEXICO, THERE WILL BE A HANDJOB IN EVERY HOME.

BECAUSE I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, THE JOKE WILL NEVER HAVE EXISTED; THIS ELIMINATES BOTH THE FIRST AND SECOND PARTS OF THE JOKE, RETROACTIVELY.

DID I MENTION THE HANDJOBS?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

IF ELECTED MEXICO, THERE WILL BE A HANDJOB IN EVERY HOME.

BECAUSE I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, THE JOKE WILL NEVER HAVE EXISTED; THIS ELIMINATES BOTH THE FIRST AND SECOND PARTS OF THE JOKE, RETROACTIVELY.

DID I MENTION THE HANDJOBS?

But only I, ROJELIO, can deliver THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

[LMNO]

THE JOKE, WHEN IT NO LONGER EXIST, WILL CEASE TO BE A JOKE.  THERE WILL BE NO SECOND HALF, FOR THERE WILL BE NO FIRST HALF.



AND DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE HANDJOBS?  I MEAN, REALLY. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

THE JOKE, WHEN IT NO LONGER EXIST, WILL CEASE TO BE A JOKE.  THERE WILL BE NO SECOND HALF, FOR THERE WILL BE NO FIRST HALF.



AND DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE HANDJOBS?  I MEAN, REALLY.

I suspect that the promises of handjobs will turn out to be unrealistic, with the very rich getting handjobs, the middle class getting cheap sleeve jobs, and the poor left wanking, just like always.

VOTE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

[LMNO]

THE HANDJOB IS NOT A LIE.

LUBE, HOWEVER, WILL BE SOLD ON A SLIDING SCALE. 

YES, THAT WAS A PUN, BUT SINCE IT WAS NOT FUNNY, IT HOLDS THAT I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR.  THUS, NO JOKES.  EVER.

QED.

[Junkenstein]

Friends, please, all of you, do consider the value in the second half of the joke being produced and this whole sorry thing being put to rest.

One MEXICO has already been deposed. Choose a new benevolent overlord soon,



Already boarding the plane with a bag marked "$$$$$WAG!" ,

The Escaping Ruling Junta

[EK WAFFLR]

I would just move Mexico to Belgium!

[Eater of Clowns]

The Good Reverend Roger gives you lies that he will give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

LMNO gives you lies that he will retroactively cause the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE to never have existed.

Junkenstein gives you lies because he is a scoundrel.

Only with Eater of Clowns, your Once and Future Mexico, brings you the truth.  The Good Reverend cannot give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  LMNO cannot cause retroactive nonexistence of the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  It is simply because there never was a second half of the joke.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The Good Reverend Roger gives you lies that he will give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.

LMNO gives you lies that he will retroactively cause the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE to never have existed.

Junkenstein gives you lies because he is a scoundrel.

Only with Eater of Clowns, your Once and Future Mexico, brings you the truth.  The Good Reverend cannot give you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  LMNO cannot cause retroactive nonexistence of the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.  It is simply because there never was a second half of the joke.

Ah, but there IS a second half of the joke, and I have been waiting months to tell it.

Which is why everyone should vote for me.  I may indeed be a shape-shifting reptillian with a taste for human souls, but I DO in fact have the second half of the joke.  And I wish to share it.

[LMNO]

WOULDN'T YOU ALL PREFER HANDJOBS?



I PROMISE HANDJOBS.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

As everyone who has played Risk with me knows, I never lie.  I say exactly what my intentions are, and nobody believes me, and I wind up winning the game, and everyone gives me dirty looks, even though I outright SAID WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO.  The fact that they didn't believe me is hardly MY fault.

And I say unto you, I SHALL deliver the second half of the joke.  <--- This is NOT an ambiguous statement.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wait.  The poll just changed.

I protest this obvious election-rigging!