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Surprise: Dalek isn't on meth, neither a retard

Started by Dalek, May 18, 2013, 06:05:00 AM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#45
May 23, 2013, 05:40:47 PM
When we were 25
all night was eight minutes
Now that we're 55
he really means all night.
Pass the lube, baby
I'm getting chafed.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Anna Mae Bollocks

#46
May 23, 2013, 06:20:27 PM
Put your teeth in the glass, baby,
Daddy took a little blue pill
Put your teeth in the glass, baby,
Daddy took a little blue pill
If you won't smoke my white owl
I know the patient in 456A will.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Doktor Howl

#47
May 23, 2013, 06:22:24 PM
Quote from: stelz on May 23, 2013, 06:20:27 PM
Put your teeth in the glass, baby,
Daddy took a little blue pill
Put your teeth in the glass, baby,
Daddy took a little blue pill
If you won't smoke my white owl
I know the patient in 456A will.

:spittake:
Molon Lube

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#48
May 23, 2013, 07:14:51 PM
Undressing requires patience
not passion, which leads to haste
don't want to fall out of bed
and break another hip . . .
those life-alert bastards will laugh.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#49
May 23, 2013, 07:21:10 PM
Quote from: stelz on May 23, 2013, 06:20:27 PM
Put your teeth in the glass, baby,
Daddy took a little blue pill
Put your teeth in the glass, baby,
Daddy took a little blue pill
If you won't smoke my white owl
I know the patient in 456A will.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS GENIUS.  :eek:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#50
May 23, 2013, 07:22:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 23, 2013, 07:14:51 PM
Undressing requires patience
not passion, which leads to haste
don't want to fall out of bed
and break another hip . . .
those life-alert bastards will laugh.

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Doktor Howl

#51
May 23, 2013, 07:27:35 PM
She does not mind my
Wheelchair, nor I her iron lung
Her stroke-slack face
and lolling trout-like tongue

My baby is a hottie
The prettiest in the home
But when we get our monkey on
The staff all puke and groan

They don't know what I know
They don't know the truth
Age doesn't stop the FABULOUS
And we are living proof.
Molon Lube

Anna Mae Bollocks

#52
May 23, 2013, 08:05:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 23, 2013, 07:27:35 PM
She does not mind my
Wheelchair, nor I her iron lung
Her stroke-slack face
and lolling trout-like tongue

My baby is a hottie
The prettiest in the home
But when we get our monkey on
The staff all puke and groan

They don't know what I know
They don't know the truth
Age doesn't stop the FABULOUS
And we are living proof.

I want to see this go viral. Superimposed on a soft-focus image of old people holding hands.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Left

#53
May 23, 2013, 09:06:55 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 23, 2013, 05:18:07 PM

Cuddling after ecstasy
the sheets are soaked

Baby, you're a squirter?

Nope, just incontinent
good thing for bed pads!

I somehow see my future here.
Hope was the thing with feathers.
I smacked it with a hammer until it was red and squashy

P3nT4gR4m

#54
May 23, 2013, 09:10:48 PM
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on May 23, 2013, 09:06:55 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 23, 2013, 05:18:07 PM

Cuddling after ecstasy
the sheets are soaked

Baby, you're a squirter?

Nope, just incontinent
good thing for bed pads!

I somehow see my future here.

Well bully for you. I see distant memories  :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Anna Mae Bollocks

#55
May 23, 2013, 09:56:58 PM
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

P3nT4gR4m

#56
May 23, 2013, 10:39:54 PM
Yay, I finally found a card for my folks anniversary  :evil:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Pergamos

#57
May 24, 2013, 12:46:40 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 23, 2013, 05:40:47 PM
When we were 25
all night was eight minutes
Now that we're 55
he really means all night.
Pass the lube, baby
I'm getting chafed.

I love this one.  It's not gross the way a lot of the others are, it's not as funny, and because of that it feels more...poetic to me.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#58
May 24, 2013, 03:44:24 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 23, 2013, 07:27:35 PM
She does not mind my
Wheelchair, nor I her iron lung
Her stroke-slack face
and lolling trout-like tongue

My baby is a hottie
The prettiest in the home
But when we get our monkey on
The staff all puke and groan

They don't know what I know
They don't know the truth
Age doesn't stop the FABULOUS
And we are living proof.

This... I actually kind of LOVE THIS. Because goddamnit, I want to still be FABULOUS long after my motor control has eroded.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#59
May 24, 2013, 03:45:51 AM
Quote from: Pergamos on May 24, 2013, 12:46:40 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 23, 2013, 05:40:47 PM
When we were 25
all night was eight minutes
Now that we're 55
he really means all night.
Pass the lube, baby
I'm getting chafed.

I love this one.  It's not gross the way a lot of the others are, it's not as funny, and because of that it feels more...poetic to me.

AW :)

It's because it's based on the truth of experience.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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