Some business advice needed.

[Salty]

I don't have anybody who could even begin to help me with this. You spags are smart and shit though.

My dilemma is: Do I run a Groupon or not?

Background:
I have to take over my friends business or I'm out on my ass starting from scratch, which, in its own way, would be quite relieving.
I need $5k to buy it, and then take over the lease for $1000 month (including some remodel financing, it'll drop to $800 after a time).
I need people working in those rooms, I'll have three including mine. If I rent out each at $500, very reasonable in this town, my rent is covered and all my stuff is profit more or less.
If I don't have anyone in the rooms I don't eat food.

Pros:
-Quick money I desperatey need in large(ish) sums.
-I can POTENTIALLY (that's what scares me) cheaply pay inexperienced therapists and help build their careers.
-New clients for myself
-Bigger and better reputation in town if I pull it off
-It's like getting paid to advertise

Cons:
-Very stressful. Calls, emails, strangers. I hate working on new person after new person.
-I can pay people, but I need some of that money myself, so I'll need to do massages myself. As many as I can, while keeping the therapists paid
-Once you work on someone, and they want to come back, you can hardly have repeats because there are more and more and more groupon customers.
-You can do less but earn way less.

Basically, I'm under-capitalized, under-planed, over-stressed, and BLARGE and I need this injection to make it ALL work or figure something else out. Fast.

Some other way of earning five grand in a few months. That's, you know, legal.

Looking at that list make me reconsider the groupon. The horror.

You spags make me think even when you don't say anything.

[LMNO]

No.  People I know with businesses who have worked with Groupon unanimously think it sucks, and is more effort than benefit.

[Salty]

I ran one from Oct. to Feb. this last year and it made my business from nothing.

But yeah, I hear that from most people.

One thing I did different, from what I can tell is:

Most people came in said they scoured Groupon for affordable massage. Nobody wants to pay $60+ for massage once a week, even people with money. And most people just cant afford it. So when they came in I told them they only had to pay $35 for each massage for the rest of the month.

Many of those people never came back after that month, but I made about $140 on them I otherwise would not have, and it lent my business some time leverage to acquire other regulars.

So I think it's, in part, what you make of it, and how flexible you're able to be. Some, most, business models would probably not work well with this.

Still though, I am shaking with fear, and a bit of hunger, and because I'm built like a Chihuahua, at the thought of running a groupon so soon.

Ok, you're confirming what my gut is telling me, LMNO.

Back to square one, then.