I'll probably regret posting this

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

...but AHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

http://tribuneherald.net/2013/06/03/texas-legislator-drops-marijuana-cigarette-while-speaking-on-floor/

While speaking during the Texas legislative session, representative Tom Alvin (R) Altruria, dropped something unexpected on the House floor. Upon picking up the item, cameras caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a marijuana cigarette.

He quickly put it back in his pocket as legislators looked on and then continued to speak. Several DPS officers were on hand but did not seem concerned about Rep. Alvin's possession of an illegal substance.

Ironically, the bill being discussed pertained to decreasing penalties for the possession of small amounts of cannabis. If passed, the bill would change state law and no longer jail those with small amounts and would instead only require a fine.

Rep. Alvin spoke in opposition to the bill stating "marijuana is a deadly and dangerous drug. It ruins people's lives and is so addictive that people can become hooked on it just by touching it. We have to keep in mind that allowing any steps towards its legalization will ensure that children have access to this drug. Only by keeping it illegal and imposing tough sentences can we continue to ensure that this plant is no longer consumed by people who should not have it."

After the session adjourned Rep. Alvin was questioned about the joint he had in his pocket and his remarks made in opposition to the bill.

"Well obviously state legislators enjoy special privileges that other people do not" he stated. As for his stance towards the penalty reduction bill he remarked "times are tough, budgets are tight and we have to make the best use of the state's money. Having our police focus their time and effort on keeping these dangerous criminals away from society is a major priority, not to mention the jobs we are able to create in the prison and judicial system in general. Without jailing these people, we could be looking at creating more unemployment. It just isn't economically sound to let these people go with just a ticket. We must have zero tolerance."

As legislators struggle to tackle budget issues this session, funding to schools has been cut back. Over 800,000 people per year are jailed over possession of cannabis.

[Doktor Howl]

Rep. Alvin spoke in opposition to the bill stating "marijuana is a deadly and dangerous drug. It ruins people's lives and is so addictive that people can become hooked on it just by touching it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Rep. Alvin spoke in opposition to the bill stating "marijuana is a deadly and dangerous drug. It ruins people's lives and is so addictive that people can become hooked on it just by touching it.

I KNOW

Is that even a real paper? Have I been had? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'M PINGING MY OWN BULLSHIT METER.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yep. Shoulda looked more closely before I posted. It's totally satire.

[Doktor Howl]

Yep. Shoulda looked more closely before I posted. It's totally satire.

This disappoints me in ways that are difficult to explain.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yep. Shoulda looked more closely before I posted. It's totally satire.

This disappoints me in ways that are difficult to explain.

Don't worry, it won't be long before one of those wacky Republicans pulls something like this again: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/04/texas-tea-party-leader-gop-doesnt-want-black-people-to-vote/

[Left]

As the late great Molly Ivins could well attest, the Texas legislature can provide a lot of comic amusement.

She had just finished telling one of her favorite stories (which we published in August 1993) about the Texas state legislator who introduced a bill banning sodomy, both homosexual and heterosexual, in the Great State, as she always called Texas. When this legislator succeeded in passing the bill with the help of an ally, the two men shook hands in celebration. "Whereupon, the Speaker had to send the sergeant-at-arms over to reprimand them both," Molly said, "because under the new law, 'it's illegal for a prick to touch an asshole in the state.' "

http://www.texasobserver.org/2438-a-tribute-to-molly-ivins/