So in todays news

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

... some lady ran over a bear with her car, a tree fell on a house, a dead baby was found in the recycling, and a suspicious package was found on the front steps of an elementary school, prompting an evacuation. The package was properly disposed of, and investigators report that it was found to contain a small pink hairbrush and childish hair accessories.

Stay classy, Oregon.

[Doktor Howl]

... some lady ran over a bear with her car,

What the fuck was she driving?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

... some lady ran over a bear with her car,

What the fuck was she driving?

A Honda Accord.

It would probably be more accurate to say that she "collided with" a bear. The car was totaled, and the bear didn't make it either.

[EK WAFFLR]

My lord. Again. I do not understand America™

[Doktor Howl]

... some lady ran over a bear with her car,

What the fuck was she driving?

A Honda Accord.

It would probably be more accurate to say that she "collided with" a bear. The car was totaled, and the bear didn't make it either.

Still, that's one tough fucking car.

[Doktor Howl]

My lord. Again. I do not understand America™

We don't believe in regulating bears.

[EK WAFFLR]

My lord. Again. I do not understand America™

We don't believe in regulating bears.

We do. Hunting bears and wolves with helicopters is totally fair.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My lord. Again. I do not understand America™

It is not possible to "understand" America™. It simply is.

Oregon is a part of America™ with its own peculiar regional flavor that I am fairly sure comes from a combination of several generations of inbreeding and a severe seratonin imbalace.

For example http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/03/jasha-lottin-oregon-woman_n_1074050.html

[EK WAFFLR]

O.o

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm starting to feel like I need an "Oh, Oregon!" thread.

http://www.oregonlive.com/west-linn/index.ssf/2013/05/west_linn_police_trap_beaver_t.html

West Linn police thought they were going to deal with a sick animal Saturday at a home along River Street. But when they found a feisty beaver had taken up residence in a front-yard water feature, it was a whole different ballgame.

"The animal wasn't sick at all," said Officer Mike Francis, West Linn police spokesman. "He was just being territorial, staking his claim to the water feature."

Officers Al Bunch and Nick Amendolara, answering a call in the 5500 block of River Street at 9:30 a.m., quickly changed their game plan. Instead of putting a sick animal out its misery, they instead launched a beaver rodeo, catching the very healthy, active beaver with a snare on the end of a pole.

Then, after loading him (her?) into a wheelbarrow supplied by homeowner Kevin Harper, they escorted the wandering castor canadensis to a drain pipe that leads to the Willamette River, then set the creature free -- none the worse for wear.

"But he definitely wasn't happy," Harper said.  "When he came out of the wheelbarrow, he wanted to go for the cops.

[East Coast Hustle]

On the other hand, the beaver is brown and the cops didn't shoot it, so I'll call that progress.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

On the other hand, the beaver is brown and the cops didn't shoot it, so I'll call that progress.

OOOH  BURN! 

[Ben Shapiro]

The bear story is more motivation for me to continue to power lift.

[Left]

Poor bear!
...I have run over a  full-size whitetail deer...it was almost certainly lying dead in the road.
Definitely dead afterward. 
No doubt whatsoever.
I didn't even see it, and it felt like it was going to rip the undercarriage out of the Leprous Buick.
...Pulled over and dragged Bambi's carcass off the road after that.

You can't see a lot of animals in the dark unless silhouetted, or unless they look at your headlights.
Their hair or fur absorbs light.

I experienced this another time... coming home one night, I saw a dim shadow up ahead and slowed down...Damn good thing I did too, it was a full-grown jet-black brangus steer.   

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/weird/Man-Sentenced-to-50-Years-for-Stealing-Ribs-209637971.html

Forty-three-year-old Willie Smith Ward was convicted and sentenced on robbery charges Wednesday. The Waco Tribune-Herald reports that Ward's theft of the $35 rack of pork ribs turned into a robbery after he threatened a grocery store employee who tried to stop him in 2011.

WTF...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hmmmm, so a hungry person is thrown in prison for what will probably be the rest of his natural life, at a taxpayer cost of probably about 2.5 million dollars, for shoplifting $35 worth of groceries.

Oh, America.