Chasing the Black Dragon, a tale.

[EK WAFFLR]

Less cliff-hanger, more story!

More story is in progress!

[EK WAFFLR]

Interlude

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Somewhere

Deep inside a mountain, a group of people were gathered, eight robed persons, faces hidden by the hoods. They talked in hushed tones. Behind the round table they sat around, was a large black symbol. It looked faintly alive. The hooded people stopped talking as something came out of the darkness beneath the symbol. It was a man, dressed in a papal outfit, complete with oversized hat. He was also wearing one of those white, expressionless masks that tend to freak a certain kind of people out. The eight rose from their seats, chanting "All hail the messenger of AnXi!"
The papal figured bowed slightly, pulled out his chair, and got his feet tangled up in the robe, falling forward, hitting his face on the table.
"Goddamnit, Carter!" one of the hooded men said. "Can't you do anything right?"
"Shut up, Jackson!" The papal Carter said, readjusting his robes, and putting his hat back on. He then sat down, and eyed the other eight as meaningfully as possible when wearing a white mask.
"All right. As we all know, He Who Controls The Dragon, Controls The World," he said, pronouncing the capital letters with care.
"We are very close to reaching our goal. For a thousand years we have worked toward this, our Organisation's Final Solution. We have carefully laid plans, thrown wrenches in gears, oiled the machinery, maintained the carburetors..."
"Stop it with these horrible similes, Carter! They sound incredibly dumb!" another of the eight said. "I swear to AnXi, who made you our leader anyway?"
Carter sighed loudly, tried rubbing his forehead, remembered he was wearing a mask, and started massaging his temples instead.
"You know full well that Tradition states than when the Pope dies, or is disposed of, the most senior member takes his place. It has been thus for a Thousand Years!"
"Fuck that shit. You're incompetent, and we, as a whole DEMAND you resign your post immediately!"
"What is this mutiny? The Mistress won't like this! You'll pay dearly for your lack of loyalty!"
The group all removed their hoods, revealing four men and four women. One of the women spoke.
"Shut it. You said it ourself just now, that Popes are disposed of when the need arises. We know our glorious history, and our loyalty lies with the Organisation and The Iron Goddess. You, however, are an incompetent nincompoop, and you have singlehandedly slowed down our work for the past decade. Our progress has been in spite of your leadership, not because of it. We have conferred with the Mistress, and She has given us carte blanche to dispose of you as we will, bring in a new ninth member, from the outer ranks, and elect a new pope among us, based on skill, leadership ability and, you know, helpful stuff.
We have, before this meeting, arranged your unfortunate demise. You, Carter, are hereby a dead man. We have also provided you with a new identity, in another country. You'll get enough money to eat for a few days, then you're completely on your own. Now, begone, up you useless bastard."
The other seven mutineers clapped and shouted "so it is done", and disrobed Pope Carter, pushing him out the door.
"Oh, and Carter?" Jackson said. "Remember, if you ever, EVER mention us to an outsider, the Mistress will make you regret that you were born. Or rather, regret that she was born."

"Now, let's get down to business, and get the wheels rolling properly!" Jackson said when Carter was gone.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

  Yeah Carter!! Jeez. My five-year-old niece is more menacing than you. :P

Great piece, Waffles. Ominous and hilarious, it's like a well balanced breakfast of evil!

[EK WAFFLR]

Yeah Carter!! Jeez. My five-year-old niece is more menacing than you. :P

Great piece, Waffles. Ominous and hilarious, it's like a well balanced breakfast of evil!

Thanks! Let's hope he doesn't show up later. Nothing is scarier than a stupid man scorned.

[EK WAFFLR]

Chapter 4
The meeting

Arthur sat in the outside area of a pub in the Stables, hoping this Penny would find her soon. He had a pint of lager, half full, which he found very appropriate. He sniggered at himself, then drained the beer, got up and ordered a new one at the bar.

When he got back, a woman was sitting at his table, taking a smoke from his pack.
"Excuse me, miss? What are you doing?"
"Ah, Lord Swindleton-Arglebargle! Good to see you made it. I'm Penny. Please, sit down."
Arthur sat down, eyeballing Penny. She appeared to be in her thirties, reddish hair, intensely blue eyes. She was wearing a pinstripe blazer and skirt, and a white shirt with the top two buttons undone. She looked like a CEO. She also looked vaguely familiar.
"Miss Penny, I hate to be rude, but could you tell me why I had a note in my hand telling me to meet you here this morning? I only took the trip because I'm rather curious, I'm afraid."
"It'll become clear soon enough, Arthur. May I call you Arthur?"
"Yes, you may. And how soon is soon enough? I'm having a hard time coping with things, what with all the tea gone missing."
"Ahh. The tea. That's why we're here. The tea shortage is part of something very much bigger, a vast conspiracy to change the fate of mankind. And you can help thwart it, Arthur."
Arthur's jaw dropped like a bowling ball from a house top.
"Surely, you're pulling my leg? You're insane. Or, I'm insane for actually sitting here listening to you."
"Not at all," Penny said. "Come walk with me."

Arthur and Penny sat at a bench, smoking.
"So, what you are saying is that there is a hidden organisation that has existed for decades, working to control humanity, and they're using TEA as a means of control? Why tea? Who are they? And, most importantly, why the bloody hell should I believe you?" Arthur was exasperated. This was a bit too much. He didn't want to believe Penny, but he found himself doing just that.
"That is, indeed, what I'm saying, Arthur. I don't expect you to believe me right now. But tell me. Have you had any weird dreams lately? Involving monks and deserts?"
Arthur's jaw dropped, again. You could fit a decent sized apple in there.
"Whu..wha...huh..grbglglgbl...," Arthur said.
"I thought so. We have tracked you down for a reason, Arthur."
"...glblr," he replied.

IT watched the encounter with interest. This conspiracy sounded interesting. That may come in useful, IT thought.
IT edged closer. Nobody would pay a tourist any notice.

"Now, now, Arthur," Penny said. "This isn't some magic woowoo. You see, our scientists are experimenting with methods to track down people who can be of help in the fight against the Order, and I'm afraid dreams like that are an unfortunate side effect. I'd explain better but I'm not that kind of smart. Perhaps one day, one of our science guys can explain it to you in detail."
Arthur took a deep breath, stood up, and almost bumped into a bearded man walking past. Beardy apologized in broken English and hurried off.
"I...I...I need a drink. And another. This is a bit too much, I'm afraid."
Penny stood up as well, straightening her skirt as she did so.
"Your waistcoat is disheveled, Arthur," she said. Arthur quickly resheveled his tweed, and gave Penny one of those looks. You know the kind. Penny grinned wide. Unsettlingly wide.
"Have a drink, Arthur. Have ten. Come to grips with what I have told you. I will meet you tomorrow. At your house. Des 2 o'clock sound alright?"
"Uh.. Sure thing. I guess," Arthur said. "See you tomorrow, then."

Arthur got in the back seat of the car. Carruthers sat with his crossword. A New York Times Sunday crossword.
"Hello, sir," he said, not looking up.
"Carruthers, said Arthur.
"Take me home please. I'll tell you all about my fateful meeting, and perhaps you can give me advice. That brain of yours works wonders when mine is less sheveled than my suits on a Saturday night."
"Very well, sir."

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Arthur's jaw dropped, again. You could fit a decent sized apple in there.

LOL. So many great lines. This is coming along beautifully, Waffles.

"Your waistcoat is disheveled, Arthur," she said. Arthur quickly resheveled his tweed, and gave Penny one of those looks. You know the kind. Penny grinned wide. Unsettlingly wide.

Love that whole thing.

[EK WAFFLR]

 
Thank you, CPD!
I'm having a whale of a time writing this!

[EK WAFFLR]

Chapter 5
Agent Arglebargle?

Penny and Arthur sat in Arthur's garden, eating lunch, or in Arthur's case, breakfast. He drank himself to sleep the night before, downing a bottle of Bruichladdich, and half a bottle of port. The bad thing about that was that he was presently hung over like a teenager who has raided his father's liquor cabinet. The good thing was that he didn't have any weird dreams. Not that he could remember anyway.
Carruthers' advice the day before had been to just go along with Penny's "rather eccentric" ideas, as he had put it. It wasn't the advice Arthur had hoped his manservant's huge brain would come up with, but it seemed the most logical course of action.

"I have to say, Penny," Arthur said. "You don't do a very good job of making me understand what the hell is going on."
Penny sighed.
"I know Arthur. I know. I'm afraid I don't quite understand it myself. A least not in a way that is easily explainable. But I feel it, deep inside, that it must be true, if you can relate? Anyway, I'm sure they have their reasons for sending me to recruit you, even though I myself have been recruited only five weeks ago. What that reason is escapes me completely, though."
"Really, now? You seemed so confident yesterday."
Penny grinned. Arthur winced.
"I am confident, Arthur. And I know how to be convincing. I do really believe in the cause, if we can call it that. I have seen the evidence of the Organisation, and their evil plans."
"Hang on a minute. The organisation? You called it the order yesterday. What exactly are they? And who?"
"They call themselves The Organization, The Old Firm, The Absolute Order, The Messengers of AnXi. They have many names, but whatever you call them, the fact remains that they have been working ceaselessly for a millennium, at least, to subjugate mankind. They want the human race as their slaves, their cattle, to prod and do with as they please. They do this in the name of AnXi, the Iron Goddess of Mercy. Because, total slavery is merciful for humanity."

Inside, the phone rang. Carruthers strode over to pick it up.
"Swindleton-Arglebargle residence, how may I help you?"
There was a lot of static on the line, but other than that, nothing. Carruthers repeated himself. More static.
The ever persistent manservant repeated himself one more time. Static.
Then, something seemed to happen.
"*crk*...automated message..*crk*..do not... I repeat.. Do not.. Drink the tea..*crkBZZZZZZZZZ*" The line went dead. How very curious, Carruthers thought, and went outside to find Arthur and Penny.


" I have never even heard of AnXi," Arthur said. "What kind of goddess is that?"
"To be honest, I have no idea, and neither do anyone else outside of the Order, as far as we can tell. The theories are manifold, of course. Some think it is ancient Chinese. There is a region in china called Anxi. Some say that the Order named the goddess after the region."
Penny saw Carruthers in the distance, apparently carrying a tray. Probably coffee and biscuits. Arthur saw him, too. Good old Carruthers, he thought. He cleared his throat while straightening his sunglasses. He wore them because of the aforementioned hangover. They looked like he had nicked them from Elton John sometime in the 70's.
"Ok. So you are fighting an enemy you don't know anything about, with methods you don't understand, and you're recruiting a drunken fart like myself. You'll understand if I find the whole idea a bit silly. Also, I'm wondering, who are 'we'? Do you kow anything about your side at least?" Arthur turned toward Penny.
He really, really wished she would stop that grinning.
"As I said, I was recruited only five weeks ago, but I have learned a lot in that short time. The 'we' I'm talking about are the resistance. We, or they, have been thwarting the Order's plans almost since the beginning. You could say that we are the Rebel Alliance to the Order's Empire. I have no idea how many we are. We are divided into more or less independent cells, with a very few orders being directed from above when the need arises. I'm sure you've read Nineteen Eighty-Four? Good. The imaginary resistance in that book, is, according to my superiors, based on our resistance movement.  Never let the left hand know what the right hand is doing."

At that moment, Carruthers arrived. He served the coffee and biscuits, and related the phone call. Penny drained her coffee, said that she had to tell this to her superiors and hat she wild be in touch as soon as possible. She also gave Arthur a mobile phone.
"Use this only for Resistance purposes. It's heavily encrypted, and has a self-destruct mechanism."
Arthur found himself wanting to get drunk again. How did he get caught up in this mess?

Later that day, at around 6pm, the mobile phone rang. It was a male voice.
"Lord Swindleton-Arglebargle? Your assistance is needed. Please find your way to Wales, and the small town of Pant-Y-Girdl. You have five hours. Bring your valet, if he wants to come along. Warm him that it might be dangerous."

Click.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

The plot thickens!! I'm starting to feel kind of bad for Carruthers. I hope he packs a Haz-Mat suit!

[EK WAFFLR]

Yeah, poor Carruthers. At least Arthur appreciates him.

[Freeky]

Three week bump!

[EK WAFFLR]

OH SHIT! Has it been that long? FRIDAY AT THE LATEST! PROMISE

[Freeky]

Yay!

[EK WAFFLR]

shit came up. Will post tomorrow.

[Freeky]

It's cool.