Open Bar MMXIV^2: Solace of Quantum

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My father has been posting fake craigslist ads. He didn't screenshot and they've since been flagged for removal but this is the gist:





Had to dig a new septic system and found this buried in my backyard. Former occupant blew away in a gust of wind when we opened it. Don't have a clue who it was...all I know is I want this thing gone. I figure a little fabric and foam, some glue and paint and it will be good a new. Fixer upper for granny or grandpa - save a bundle. Hurry it won't last long - folks are dying to get their hands on it. Put "Dirt Nap Special" in subject line to weed out scammers!

    Location: (Six Feet Under)
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



2nd one:



Bought this as a birthday gift for my pesky creepy uncle, known in the family as twenty-fingers - and he used it only once. The emergency team couldn't save him so his tragedy is your gain! Makes a great gift for someone you loath - like that idiot boss of yours. Taking offers of anything less than $0. Comes with partial box of thirty-eight rounds, one missing. Wives...this would make a great addition to his "Man Cave."

    Location: Dallas
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Your dad is funny. 

[Salty]

I tired to get out of this asshole of a town and go camp.

Things I learned:
-Mosquitos are absolutely atrocious on Nancy Lake. Just clouds of itchy doom.
-campgrounds near wasilla, AK are filled with people and thus horrible.
-if I don't break myself hiking miles to Get There camping is so fucking boring.

I gave up, went back home, beset by ennui.

That'll teach me to go north.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I love camping. But won't go by myself, due to being female and the prevalence of rape/murder in campgrounds.

[Salty]

Two years ago, when EoC met me out here we hiked three rough miles to a lake and then canoed to a state run cabin. I saw an eagle maybe 10 ft above my head. It was picturesque and perfect.

This was shit. Ima ride my bike.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Going outside is amazing here. There aren't that many people and there is a fuckton of really picturesque nature.

[Salty]

Well, I worked it out with my babies momma, she still wants to move down there. And since I am doing a business I cannot drop everything and change all my shit suddenly, without fucking people over...

...we've decided on 4 years, and then going down to Oregon somewhere. Not Portland, 2hrs away though. Not sure where.

So.I'll get to get my outside on the regular and maybe won't feel quite as manic.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well, I worked it out with my babies momma, she still wants to move down there. And since I am doing a business I cannot drop everything and change all my shit suddenly, without fucking people over...

...we've decided on 4 years, and then going down to Oregon somewhere. Not Portland, 2hrs away though. Not sure where.

So.I'll get to get my outside on the regular and maybe won't feel quite as manic.

Yay, moving!!!

Can I ask why you would move to anywhere in Oregon that isn't Portland? Have you been to the rest of the state?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Not trying to be a downer, but it's basically a more temperate Alaska. There is nowhere in Oregon, except POSSIBLY Bend or Eugene (and yet, still, no) that I would live outside of Portland. I would sooner live in Washington.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Not that I COULD live anywhere anywhere in Oregon outside of Portland. Pretty sure I'd get lynched.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Well I'm currently reading http://special-snowflake-hall-of-fame.tumblr.com/ and losing the will to live.  Not due to Snow herself, but the things she finds... 

Wow, I actually hate her. What is she, 15?

For example, this: http://killdrugs.tumblr.com/post/50026987785

Girl gets in trouble for not covering her bra, wearing a COMPLETELY ANDROGYNOUS SHIRT THAT WOULD BE OK FOR BOYS. And probably for her, if her tits were small enough to not require a lacey supportive undergarment.

Snow makes fun of it, because apparently girl is "wrong" for objecting to patriarchical, controlling bullshit.

Sorry dude, Snow is a fucking retard. Can't take her seriously. She's a double-standard apologist, at best

Some girls get cock this way. Hope it's working for her, at least.

Yes, HATE.

BESIDES the patriarchy thing, there's the "who gives a fuck what other people wear" thing. Which is very close to my heart.
Dress codes are retarded anyway. As proven by that White House petition you posted the other day.

I don't think I'd want what's on the other end of a cock that likes shit like that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well I'm currently reading http://special-snowflake-hall-of-fame.tumblr.com/ and losing the will to live.  Not due to Snow herself, but the things she finds... 

Wow, I actually hate her. What is she, 15?

For example, this: http://killdrugs.tumblr.com/post/50026987785

Girl gets in trouble for not covering her bra, wearing a COMPLETELY ANDROGYNOUS SHIRT THAT WOULD BE OK FOR BOYS. And probably for her, if her tits were small enough to not require a lacey supportive undergarment.

Snow makes fun of it, because apparently girl is "wrong" for objecting to patriarchical, controlling bullshit.

Sorry dude, Snow is a fucking retard. Can't take her seriously. She's a double-standard apologist, at best

Some girls get cock this way. Hope it's working for her, at least.

Yes, HATE.

BESIDES the patriarchy thing, there's the "who gives a fuck what other people wear" thing. Which is very close to my heart.
Dress codes are retarded anyway. As proven by that White House petition you posted the other day.

I don't think I'd want what's on the other end of a cock that likes shit like that.

Yeah, also "School prepares you for real life" 

[Freeky]

Well I'm currently reading http://special-snowflake-hall-of-fame.tumblr.com/ and losing the will to live.  Not due to Snow herself, but the things she finds... 

Wow, I actually hate her. What is she, 15?

For example, this: http://killdrugs.tumblr.com/post/50026987785

Girl gets in trouble for not covering her bra, wearing a COMPLETELY ANDROGYNOUS SHIRT THAT WOULD BE OK FOR BOYS. And probably for her, if her tits were small enough to not require a lacey supportive undergarment.

Snow makes fun of it, because apparently girl is "wrong" for objecting to patriarchical, controlling bullshit.

Sorry dude, Snow is a fucking retard. Can't take her seriously. She's a double-standard apologist, at best

Some girls get cock this way. Hope it's working for her, at least.

Yes, HATE.

BESIDES the patriarchy thing, there's the "who gives a fuck what other people wear" thing. Which is very close to my heart.
Dress codes are retarded anyway. As proven by that White House petition you posted the other day.

I don't think I'd want what's on the other end of a cock that likes shit like that.

Yeah, also "School prepares you for real life" 

Devil's advocate:  If she is like, 15, she's been fed that line for a full decade. 

Other than that, yeah.  She's pretty awful and annoying.

[Freeky]

I WANT ALL THE CRAPPY, CANNED CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP IN THE WORLD.

I WILL SETTLE FOR THE TWO FAMILY SIZED CANS + READY-TO-SERVE CONTAINER I HAVE IN MY HOUSE.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well I'm currently reading http://special-snowflake-hall-of-fame.tumblr.com/ and losing the will to live.  Not due to Snow herself, but the things she finds... 

Wow, I actually hate her. What is she, 15?

For example, this: http://killdrugs.tumblr.com/post/50026987785

Girl gets in trouble for not covering her bra, wearing a COMPLETELY ANDROGYNOUS SHIRT THAT WOULD BE OK FOR BOYS. And probably for her, if her tits were small enough to not require a lacey supportive undergarment.

Snow makes fun of it, because apparently girl is "wrong" for objecting to patriarchical, controlling bullshit.

Sorry dude, Snow is a fucking retard. Can't take her seriously. She's a double-standard apologist, at best

Some girls get cock this way. Hope it's working for her, at least.

Yes, HATE.

BESIDES the patriarchy thing, there's the "who gives a fuck what other people wear" thing. Which is very close to my heart.
Dress codes are retarded anyway. As proven by that White House petition you posted the other day.

I don't think I'd want what's on the other end of a cock that likes shit like that.

Yeah, also "School prepares you for real life" 

Devil's advocate:  If she is like, 15, she's been fed that line for a full decade. 

Other than that, yeah.  She's pretty awful and annoying.

Apparently she's 22.

She didn't say that, some other kid who can't think for himself did.

Snow is a total panderer to authority and seems to lack any capability for comprehending the subtleties in the permutations of human interactions and oppression. She's a fucking dipshit who thinks that because she's marginally above average, intellectually speaking, that entitles her to pass judgement on all the small objections lesser mortals have to the way they're treated by the people who have power over them.

Unfortunately, being just smart enough to articulate how much of an twit she is, she falls victim to man's great leveler, Dunning/Kruger Effect.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I WANT ALL THE CRAPPY, CANNED CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP IN THE WORLD.

I WILL SETTLE FOR THE TWO FAMILY SIZED CANS + READY-TO-SERVE CONTAINER I HAVE IN MY HOUSE.

Total guilty pleasure, right here.