Hateful, Right Now

[Doktor Howl]

"Let's go troll!", they yell.  I am there alone.  Again.  Because I'm a SUCKER.  Yeah, two other people went, but they're on a very different schedule.  Everyone else just left me hanging.  Again.  Because I'm a fucking FOOL. 

"Come by and hang out!", my best friend says.  So I do.  I'm a bit late, and when I get there, she's playing a CCG.  Well, my fault for being late.  So I go to see her again, on time, but there's no time to talk.  I am expected to be there to watch her play a CCG.  Goodbye, no hard feelings, just goodbye.

Board full of people, nobody wants to talk to me.  But where is LOBB?  Dance, monkey, dance.

My entire crew is playing fuckaround all of a sudden, in the last week or so, trying to steal the credit for things from each other, while doing a half-ass fucking job.  Just sent 3 of them home, I'll decide if they're still fucking employed when I calm the fuck down.

Another "friend" of mine has been finding more and more passive-aggressive ways to try to borrow money off of me.  If he'd have just asked, I'd have done it, if it was doable.  Fuck that now, though.

The only three people I know that have treated me like a person (aside from my wife & kids)?  Two are too busy, and one is constantly being called away.

Yeah, feeling like a world class prick right now, and feeling kind of justified in doing so.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That sucks dude. Sorry to hear it. Id help out with the trolling but i dont think im particularly good at it unless you count what we did with my mod powers over at tsc. Which remembering just now got me to chuckle a bit.

[Doktor Howl]

No, but thanks.

I'm so fucking pissed off at IRL events that it's getting me pissed off here, and the fact that BH kicked our ass in trolling tells me that it's hopeless.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I hear that. If something is grating on you in one place its going to color your mood everywhere else.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Just you wait until the end of term. Bored Nigel with nothing to do? I can be PRETTY IRRITATING.

The "I fucking rock so hard and you guys suck" troll is pretty effective, I want to spread that around a little.

[Doktor Howl]

Just you wait until the end of term. Bored Nigel with nothing to do? I can be PRETTY IRRITATING.

The "I fucking rock so hard and you guys suck" troll is pretty effective, I want to spread that around a little.

I'm down.  If it pisses people off, I'm okay with it right now.

[Salty]

You're all up in my head, Dok.

The problem with trusting people, is people. Theres to damned many of them, and only half are worth the meat they walk around in.

I can't even stand the sight of human faces right now.

[Doktor Howl]

You're all up in my head, Dok.

The problem with trusting people, is people. Theres to damned many of them, and only half are worth the meat they walk around in.

I can't even stand the sight of human faces right now.

The problems in my head are these:

1.  When I talk to someone, I tend to give them my full attention.  I expect the same courtesy.  I don't expect to patiently wait 30 minutes for 2 minutes of conversation, then be quietly given the hand so that the person can get back to what they REALLY value:  A CCG.

2.  People, no matter how well you think you know them, will fall all over themselves to stab you or anyone else in the back for a momentary, non-important perceived "gain".  Talking about my employees, here.

3.  The only person here who has the right to be impatient about LOBB is Nigel, and she's been patient as hell.  To the people who have NOT been patient:  IF YOU CAN'T BE ARSED TO SPEAK TO ME ON THE BOARD, PLEASE SAVE YOU AND I BOTH A LOT OF HEARTACHE AND DO NOT PM ME DEMANDING MORE LOBB.  WHERE THE BLISTERING FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU GET OFF?  This doesn't include ECH, of course, who has been known to speak to me, even publicly.  LOBB is being written for Nigel and her youngest kid.  Not for you.  Shut up.

4.  If you aren't actually going to do something, please don't tell me how cool it's going to be.

and

5.  From this point forward, if you can't be arsed to speak to me, then you are off my fucking radar.  Not "RAGE HATE YOU IN THE FACE RAGE", just off my radar.

[LMNO]

What's a CCG?

[Doktor Howl]

What's a CCG?

Collectable Card Game.  Magic the Gathering, L5R, that sort of thing.  In this case, L5R.

I'm not feeling particularly hateful over this, except at the universe in general, because I don't have my best friend anymore.  There's someone else there, now.

It's sort of like watching someone you know go full-bore on cocaine.

[LMNO]

Wait.  You go over to someone's house, and they're too busy playing a GAME than hang out with you?


No Computa.

[Doktor Howl]

Wait.  You go over to someone's house, and they're too busy playing a GAME than hang out with you?


No Computa.

Naw, it was at a game shop, but that's more a social center here than anything else.  I'm not mad at this person, just very depressed.  The person I used to know isn't there anymore.

[Doktor Howl]

I fucking hate this town.  It eats all my friends.  They go nuts or they die or they become some sort of addict.

I mean, there's still people I hang around with, but it isn't the same.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Apologies if I've been out of sync. Been kind of weirded out in general and going through similar.

I wrote a friend the other day and asked if everything was OK because I hadn't head from him in awhile. (He knows my living situation and the fact that people around here say things like "What do you expect from a n- president?" every time there's some shitty current event.) And he wrote back and said "I'm busy, I don't go online much anymore, don't worry, just have fun, OK?"

The rational part of my mind was relieved, but the butthurt redheaded stepchild part wondered if he ever heard a word I said ("have FUN"???) and contemplated drinking a quart of whiskey and walking in front of a semi. 

So yeah. There's a lot of it going around.

Not calling you a "butthurt redheaded stepchild", BTW. It's a thing that lives in my head. My big fat personal demon.

[Doktor Howl]

Apologies if I've been out of sync. Been kind of weirded out in general and going through similar.

I wrote a friend the other day and asked if everything was OK because I hadn't head from him in awhile. (He knows my living situation and the fact that people around here say things like "What do you expect from a n- president?" every time there's some shitty current event.) And he wrote back and said "I'm busy, I don't go online much anymore, don't worry, just have fun, OK?"

The rational part of my mind was relieved, but the butthurt redheaded stepchild part wondered if he ever heard a word I said ("have FUN"???) and contemplated drinking a quart of whiskey and walking in front of a semi. 

So yeah. There's a lot of it going around.

Not calling you a "butthurt redheaded stepchild", BTW. It's a thing that lives in my head. My big fat personal demon.

Yep.  I also assume that you are taking Keen calls, self-employed people never have any time.  No worries.

But yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.  I haven't been this miserable in years and years, and all I really need is someone to go crazy with or even just sit down and shoot the breeze, so that I can remember that I'm not JUST my job.

But instead, I get excuses, or ums and uh huhs, from people who don't have time for anything other than their current obsession.  I have my RPG groups, but outside of the game, we have nothing in common.  I'm at sea.