THE PROBLEM WITH THIS BOARD

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

TOO MUCH CONTENT, NOT ENOUGH FLUFF.

[Don Coyote]

TOO MUCH CONTENT, NOT ENOUGH FLUFF.

FLUFF IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF EVERY ORC'S DIET!!!!

[Doktor Howl]

The problem with this board is that it is mis-named.  This is not a "Discordian Board", it is the "Happy Autistic Children's Reading Room and/or co-dependent damage-case whimpering society".  People VIEW because that is ALL THEY ARE CAPABLE OF ANYMORE.

I do not say this in an attempt to change things; I do not believe the problem is fixable.  I say this because, well, I want to yell at you.  You HAD the weird, and you let it ROT.  Fuck all of you.  In the ear-hole.  Some people here do not deserve this; they will probably assume I am including them.  Most people here DO deserve this; they will assume I am talking about someone else.  Or they will say "I never know what to say", or "I need to digest this before I comment" or "I don't have time...BUT I HAVE TIME TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE AND HOW AWFUL EVERYTHING IS!"

You're all stuck in The Crack.  All of you bastards.  I'd holler at you some more, but THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO TO YOU THAT IS WORSE THAN WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF, you fucking ZOMBIES.

I hate you all with the power of Richard Simmons' gym shorts, you pukes.  You fucking cabbages.

GAME ORVER.  MACHINE™ WINS.   

[Doktor Howl]

TOO MUCH CONTENT, NOT ENOUGH FLUFF.

First part's easy to fix.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Is this going to turn into one of those places with pictures of fairies and pretty sunsets and shit?

[Doktor Howl]

Is this going to turn into one of those places with pictures of fairies and pretty sunsets and shit?

Go look at the board we're visiting.  Go look at the Journals.  That's PD in 3 months.  No, fuck that, that's PD NOW.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

UNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHH

Now I want to accidentally something.

[Doktor Howl]

UNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHH

Now I want to accidentally something.

CUE
THE
EXCUSES

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

In what order? "I've been really busy" first, or "I never know what to say"?

[Doktor Howl]

I never know what to say.
I can't write like that. 
I need to think about this first.
I am too SAD.  I'm listening to The Smiths.
Roger, you're a fucking asshole, and I've been hauling this dump truck full of BUTTHURT for 3 YEARS.  CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?
Same thing, only Nigel instead of Roger.

WHICH MEANS

I am a cabbage.  I just sort of sit here.

BECAUSE
(in order)

You could say "HI!"
It doesn't take Faulkner to say "HI!"
You don't have to think about "HELLO!"
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.
and
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

The SMITHS?

KILL IT WITH FIRRRRRRRE

[Salty]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

[Doktor Howl]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

Problem is, it would be nice to have someone to bullshit with, too.

And that stopped weeks ago.

[Salty]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

Problem is, it would be nice to have someone to bullshit with, too.

And that stopped weeks ago.

Roger, I want you to know that there's little else I'd.like than to just bullshit with you and other people here. You folks are like.family to.me, no shit.

And soon, I'll be able to. And I can't wait.

[Doktor Howl]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

Problem is, it would be nice to have someone to bullshit with, too.

And that stopped weeks ago.

Roger, I want you to know that there's little else I'd.like than to just bullshit with you and other people here. You folks are like.family to.me, no shit.

And soon, I'll be able to. And I can't wait.

TO BE CLEAR:

It's not that people don't have time to BE here.  Life happens.  It's that people will stare at the screen for minutes or even HOURS, never saying a word.

The whole idea of a BBS is interaction.