My PM Box is Not Your Therapist.

[Left]

Copy of an email I received a few days back (not corrected for spelling or grammar):

dear hammy howl,
U arent so smart. STop telling peoplewhat to do. u arent jesus.  Take a chill pill and stop pretending u no everything.  u dont own face book.  u never say anything u only tear down what other people say.  U need too open ur mind.  Faggot.

GAH...
If someone's going to fuck with you, they should at least have the decency to say something like:

"You, sir, are the vilest scum of the planet. May your orifices become cancerous and explode.  May you be run over by a city bus whilst pursuing the scabrous hooker who just stole your wallet and pants.  May your brain ooze from your ears in horror at the very thoughts you think, may the alcohol you doubtlessly consume rupture your lower intestine.  May internet memes involving your image appearing to fuck a sheep go viral, may your penis be cut off and thrown into a garbage disposal.  May you be consumed by a horde of rabid rats, may you be strangled by your own body hair, may your dying be witnessed by people who shall laugh and pelt you with rocks as you lie screaming.
Because dying in a fire is far too good for the likes of you, sir."

I mean, there's no verbal creativity with these spags.

[Doktor Howl]

Copy of an email I received a few days back (not corrected for spelling or grammar):

dear hammy howl,
U arent so smart. STop telling peoplewhat to do. u arent jesus.  Take a chill pill and stop pretending u no everything.  u dont own face book.  u never say anything u only tear down what other people say.  U need too open ur mind.  Faggot.

GAH...
If someone's going to fuck with you, they should at least have the decency to say something like:

"You, sir, are the vilest scum of the planet. May your orifices become cancerous and explode.  May you be run over by a city bus whilst pursuing the scabrous hooker who just stole your wallet and pants.  May your brain ooze from your ears in horror at the very thoughts you think, may the alcohol you doubtlessly consume rupture your lower intestine.  May internet memes involving your image appearing to fuck a sheep go viral, may your penis be cut off and thrown into a garbage disposal.  May you be consumed by a horde of rabid rats, may you be strangled by your own body hair, may your dying be witnessed by people who shall laugh and pelt you with rocks as you lie screaming.
Because dying in a fire is far too good for the likes of you, sir."

I mean, there's no verbal creativity with these spags.

True.  They could at least read Hunter S Thompson before posting.

[Left]

Copy of an email I received a few days back (not corrected for spelling or grammar):

dear hammy howl,
U arent so smart. STop telling peoplewhat to do. u arent jesus.  Take a chill pill and stop pretending u no everything.  u dont own face book.  u never say anything u only tear down what other people say.  U need too open ur mind.  Faggot.

GAH...
If someone's going to fuck with you, they should at least have the decency to say something like:

"You, sir, are the vilest scum of the planet. May your orifices become cancerous and explode.  May you be run over by a city bus whilst pursuing the scabrous hooker who just stole your wallet and pants.  May your brain ooze from your ears in horror at the very thoughts you think, may the alcohol you doubtlessly consume rupture your lower intestine.  May internet memes involving your image appearing to fuck a sheep go viral, may your penis be cut off and thrown into a garbage disposal.  May you be consumed by a horde of rabid rats, may you be strangled by your own body hair, may your dying be witnessed by people who shall laugh and pelt you with rocks as you lie screaming.
Because dying in a fire is far too good for the likes of you, sir."

I mean, there's no verbal creativity with these spags.

True.  They could at least read Hunter S Thompson before posting.

They should at least put in that effort, Dok.  You're worth more than that lame-ass quote.  For goddess' sake, he didn't even spell or write words in allcaps or various sizes for emphasis.

You ought to put these random hate emails up for group critique. Could be fun.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh, people. 

Why me?

Why can't they give you some of this sweet, sweet loving?

I keep telling that ECH is the man they want, but they never seem to take me up on it.

Because they NEED TO WARN YOU that I'm an uppity bitch who is evading your destructo mind lazors by manipulating you, YOU EVIL BASTARD. 

[Count Chocula]

People hide behind PMs? Really??? Why not just post it on the board, it's just the freaking internets.

[LMNO]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

[Count Chocula]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

If this is directed at me, I don't get it. I just got here a little bit ago and my screen name has always been Delcon. This must be another one of those Portland inside joke thingys? Dang weirdos I tell you, the whole lot of yous.

[Left]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

Do I want any prospective employer to read the shit I spew? 
I assume everyone else is doing it for similar reasons.   
I need to keep a jerb.

...Do you use the same handle from site to site?

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

If this is directed at me, I don't get it. I just got here a little bit ago and my screen name has always been Delcon. This must be another one of those Portland inside joke thingys? Dang weirdos I tell you, the whole lot of yous.

Yes, yes, we know.  It's Nigel's fault, really.  She knows you Minnesota yahoos have brain damage from the winters, and yet she makes us all attack you on account of poptard.  It's a shame and a disgrace, and something should be done about it, because it's not fair to pick on your assburgers.

[Doktor Howl]

People hide behind PMs? Really??? Why not just post it on the board, it's just the freaking internets.

They're a different kind of crazy than you are, Poptard old pal.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

Do I want any prospective employer to read the shit I spew? 
I assume everyone else is doing it for similar reasons.   
I need to keep a jerb.

...Do you use the same handle from site to site?

Hylie, it's a poptard thing.  He's this nutcase from Minnesota who has been banned here more times than I can count, and that's no easy thing.  He'd be HILARIOUS if he could control his compulsions long enough to go trolling with, but he can't, not really.  He HAS to be a dick.  He can't help it.

So he comes on, does his little dance, and then does the BIG REVEAL, because he's also compelled to do that, no matter how many people have called him on his bullshit.

However, I have to give him points when he posted as ARIES GURL, because he had corspefucker and a couple of the other, more squicky members, going for quite a while.  They were white knighting for "her" like a mad bastard  even after Cain (?) found "her" pic to be some raver from London or some shit.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, people. 

Why me?

Why can't they give you some of this sweet, sweet loving?

I keep telling that ECH is the man they want, but they never seem to take me up on it.

Because they NEED TO WARN YOU that I'm an uppity bitch who is evading your destructo mind lazors by manipulating you, YOU EVIL BASTARD. 

I never could listen.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

Do I want any prospective employer to read the shit I spew? 
I assume everyone else is doing it for similar reasons.   
I need to keep a jerb.

...Do you use the same handle from site to site?

Hylie, it's a poptard thing.  He's this nutcase from Minnesota who has been banned here more times than I can count, and that's no easy thing.  He'd be HILARIOUS if he could control his compulsions long enough to go trolling with, but he can't, not really.  He HAS to be a dick.  He can't help it.

So he comes on, does his little dance, and then does the BIG REVEAL, because he's also compelled to do that, no matter how many people have called him on his bullshit.

However, I have to give him points when he posted as ARIES GURL, because he had corspefucker and a couple of the other, more squicky members, going for quite a while.  They were white knighting for "her" like a mad bastard  even after Cain (?) found "her" pic to be some raver from London or some shit.

I don't think it mattered. Corpsefucker would fuck a mud puddle on the condition that it was cold and not moving.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

Do I want any prospective employer to read the shit I spew? 
I assume everyone else is doing it for similar reasons.   
I need to keep a jerb.

...Do you use the same handle from site to site?

Hylie, it's a poptard thing.  He's this nutcase from Minnesota who has been banned here more times than I can count, and that's no easy thing.  He'd be HILARIOUS if he could control his compulsions long enough to go trolling with, but he can't, not really.  He HAS to be a dick.  He can't help it.

So he comes on, does his little dance, and then does the BIG REVEAL, because he's also compelled to do that, no matter how many people have called him on his bullshit.

However, I have to give him points when he posted as ARIES GURL, because he had corspefucker and a couple of the other, more squicky members, going for quite a while.  They were white knighting for "her" like a mad bastard  even after Cain (?) found "her" pic to be some raver from London or some shit.

I don't think it mattered. Corpsefucker would fuck a mud puddle on the condition that it was cold and not moving.

Wasn't just him, though.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Oh, but hiding behind screen names is fine, right Poptard?

Do I want any prospective employer to read the shit I spew? 
I assume everyone else is doing it for similar reasons.   
I need to keep a jerb.

...Do you use the same handle from site to site?

Hylie, it's a poptard thing.  He's this nutcase from Minnesota who has been banned here more times than I can count, and that's no easy thing.  He'd be HILARIOUS if he could control his compulsions long enough to go trolling with, but he can't, not really.  He HAS to be a dick.  He can't help it.

So he comes on, does his little dance, and then does the BIG REVEAL, because he's also compelled to do that, no matter how many people have called him on his bullshit.

However, I have to give him points when he posted as ARIES GURL, because he had corspefucker and a couple of the other, more squicky members, going for quite a while.  They were white knighting for "her" like a mad bastard  even after Cain (?) found "her" pic to be some raver from London or some shit.

I don't think it mattered. Corpsefucker would fuck a mud puddle on the condition that it was cold and not moving.

Wasn't just him, though.