WTF?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

You should arrange this.  I am mostly housebroken.

You have the upper hand. My father's people aren't.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

I have a branch of the family in Ohio.

There isn't really enough space to summarize what family reunions involving them are like, but I will say: Fat, bald, toothless uncle of indeterminate race gets in fistfight with drunk, orange-haired cousin (notably orange-haired because the previous day her nappy hair had been black like everyone else's) and knocks her across a BBQ grill while Georgia branch looks on in utter horror. Coals go everywhere. No serious injuries. Later, after everyone else has gone and I have locked myself and my baby inside the house, orange-haired cousin is wandering around outside my house banging on doors and windows, screaming "I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK TO NO HICK-ASS OREGON".

I had to call my brother to come take her away. I kept finding empty gin bottles hidden in my garage for months, and I don't know who all was drinking but I'm pretty sure it was all Ohio action.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

I have a branch of the family in Ohio.

There isn't really enough space to summarize what family reunions involving them are like, but I will say: Fat, bald, toothless uncle of indeterminate race gets in fistfight with drunk, orange-haired cousin (notably orange-haired because the previous day her nappy hair had been black like everyone else's) and knocks her across a BBQ grill while Georgia branch looks on in utter horror. Coals go everywhere. No serious injuries. Later, after everyone else has gone and I have locked myself and my baby inside the house, orange-haired cousin is wandering around outside my house banging on doors and windows, screaming "I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK TO NO HICK-ASS OREGON".

I had to call my brother to come take her away. I kept finding empty gin bottles hidden in my garage for months, and I don't know who all was drinking but I'm pretty sure it was all Ohio action.

Yeah. My family's sorta like that. I have 250-ish first, second, and third cousins at last count - that my family acknowledges. We're all tall. Most of us are obese, all of them except me are alcoholics or have been in the past or are working on becoming an alcoholic. Every family reunion involves at least one of the girls getting pregnant by one of the cousins, one wife getting beaten in front of everyone else, and half the people not being allowed in the house so they have to shit in the woods so it gets smelly quick. At least one uncle will hit on all his brothers' wives and/or daughters. At least three animals will be tortured to death for sport, the first roasted pig and maybe a cow, but definitely some family pets at the hands of the disfavored but still acknowledged kin. And it usually goes downhill from there.

The sheer stupid and crazy is something everyone should witness at least once.

[Left]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

I have a branch of the family in Ohio.

There isn't really enough space to summarize what family reunions involving them are like, but I will say: Fat, bald, toothless uncle of indeterminate race gets in fistfight with drunk, orange-haired cousin (notably orange-haired because the previous day her nappy hair had been black like everyone else's) and knocks her across a BBQ grill while Georgia branch looks on in utter horror. Coals go everywhere. No serious injuries. Later, after everyone else has gone and I have locked myself and my baby inside the house, orange-haired cousin is wandering around outside my house banging on doors and windows, screaming "I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK TO NO HICK-ASS OREGON".

I had to call my brother to come take her away. I kept finding empty gin bottles hidden in my garage for months, and I don't know who all was drinking but I'm pretty sure it was all Ohio action.

Yeah. My family's sorta like that. I have 250-ish first, second, and third cousins at last count - that my family acknowledges. We're all tall. Most of us are obese, all of them except me are alcoholics or have been in the past or are working on becoming an alcoholic. Every family reunion involves at least one of the girls getting pregnant by one of the cousins, one wife getting beaten in front of everyone else, and half the people not being allowed in the house so they have to shit in the woods so it gets smelly quick. At least one uncle will hit on all his brothers' wives and/or daughters. At least three animals will be tortured to death for sport, the first roasted pig and maybe a cow, but definitely some family pets at the hands of the disfavored but still acknowledged kin. And it usually goes downhill from there.

The sheer stupid and crazy is something everyone should witness at least once.

My family reunions are on my mom's side, and usually nice, tame, sober Methodist sort of affairs.

I'd go, but I'm generally too broke to take time off work, I need the vacation time payout too bad.

[Doktor Howl]

I am told of family reunions 3 months after they occur.

[Left]

I am told of family reunions 3 months after they occur.

Should I offer condolences or congratulations?

[Doktor Howl]

I am told of family reunions 3 months after they occur.

Should I offer condolences or congratulations?

Congratulations.  With the exception of my parents and two cousins, my entire surviving family is a collection of right wing nutbags. 

[Left]

I am told of family reunions 3 months after they occur.

Should I offer condolences or congratulations?

Congratulations.  With the exception of my parents and two cousins, my entire surviving family is a collection of right wing nutbags.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am told of family reunions 3 months after they occur.

As my role model, you gotta teach me how to be more like you.

[Doktor Howl]

I am told of family reunions 3 months after they occur.

As my role model, you gotta teach me how to be more like you.

You know that thing you do when you want to say something awful, and you don't?

Stop doing that thing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

I have a branch of the family in Ohio.

There isn't really enough space to summarize what family reunions involving them are like, but I will say: Fat, bald, toothless uncle of indeterminate race gets in fistfight with drunk, orange-haired cousin (notably orange-haired because the previous day her nappy hair had been black like everyone else's) and knocks her across a BBQ grill while Georgia branch looks on in utter horror. Coals go everywhere. No serious injuries. Later, after everyone else has gone and I have locked myself and my baby inside the house, orange-haired cousin is wandering around outside my house banging on doors and windows, screaming "I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK TO NO HICK-ASS OREGON".

I had to call my brother to come take her away. I kept finding empty gin bottles hidden in my garage for months, and I don't know who all was drinking but I'm pretty sure it was all Ohio action.

Yeah. My family's sorta like that. I have 250-ish first, second, and third cousins at last count - that my family acknowledges. We're all tall. Most of us are obese, all of them except me are alcoholics or have been in the past or are working on becoming an alcoholic. Every family reunion involves at least one of the girls getting pregnant by one of the cousins, one wife getting beaten in front of everyone else, and half the people not being allowed in the house so they have to shit in the woods so it gets smelly quick. At least one uncle will hit on all his brothers' wives and/or daughters. At least three animals will be tortured to death for sport, the first roasted pig and maybe a cow, but definitely some family pets at the hands of the disfavored but still acknowledged kin. And it usually goes downhill from there.

The sheer stupid and crazy is something everyone should witness at least once.

I actually think I can safely pass on that experience, with enough knowledge to know that there are some things I don't wanna know firsthand.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

I have a branch of the family in Ohio.

There isn't really enough space to summarize what family reunions involving them are like, but I will say: Fat, bald, toothless uncle of indeterminate race gets in fistfight with drunk, orange-haired cousin (notably orange-haired because the previous day her nappy hair had been black like everyone else's) and knocks her across a BBQ grill while Georgia branch looks on in utter horror. Coals go everywhere. No serious injuries. Later, after everyone else has gone and I have locked myself and my baby inside the house, orange-haired cousin is wandering around outside my house banging on doors and windows, screaming "I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK TO NO HICK-ASS OREGON".

I had to call my brother to come take her away. I kept finding empty gin bottles hidden in my garage for months, and I don't know who all was drinking but I'm pretty sure it was all Ohio action.

Yeah. My family's sorta like that. I have 250-ish first, second, and third cousins at last count - that my family acknowledges. We're all tall. Most of us are obese, all of them except me are alcoholics or have been in the past or are working on becoming an alcoholic. Every family reunion involves at least one of the girls getting pregnant by one of the cousins, one wife getting beaten in front of everyone else, and half the people not being allowed in the house so they have to shit in the woods so it gets smelly quick. At least one uncle will hit on all his brothers' wives and/or daughters. At least three animals will be tortured to death for sport, the first roasted pig and maybe a cow, but definitely some family pets at the hands of the disfavored but still acknowledged kin. And it usually goes downhill from there.

The sheer stupid and crazy is something everyone should witness at least once.

I actually think I can safely pass on that experience, with enough knowledge to know that there are some things I don't wanna know firsthand.

Well. Since you're one of them there smudgy people and my family all missed the cut for the KKK only because their sheets are covered in shit stains, it's probably safer.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sometimes I just want to bundle you guys all up in a van and take you to a family reunion with my dad's people. I think it would be an educational experience for all parties.

I have a branch of the family in Ohio.

There isn't really enough space to summarize what family reunions involving them are like, but I will say: Fat, bald, toothless uncle of indeterminate race gets in fistfight with drunk, orange-haired cousin (notably orange-haired because the previous day her nappy hair had been black like everyone else's) and knocks her across a BBQ grill while Georgia branch looks on in utter horror. Coals go everywhere. No serious injuries. Later, after everyone else has gone and I have locked myself and my baby inside the house, orange-haired cousin is wandering around outside my house banging on doors and windows, screaming "I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK TO NO HICK-ASS OREGON".

I had to call my brother to come take her away. I kept finding empty gin bottles hidden in my garage for months, and I don't know who all was drinking but I'm pretty sure it was all Ohio action.

Yeah. My family's sorta like that. I have 250-ish first, second, and third cousins at last count - that my family acknowledges. We're all tall. Most of us are obese, all of them except me are alcoholics or have been in the past or are working on becoming an alcoholic. Every family reunion involves at least one of the girls getting pregnant by one of the cousins, one wife getting beaten in front of everyone else, and half the people not being allowed in the house so they have to shit in the woods so it gets smelly quick. At least one uncle will hit on all his brothers' wives and/or daughters. At least three animals will be tortured to death for sport, the first roasted pig and maybe a cow, but definitely some family pets at the hands of the disfavored but still acknowledged kin. And it usually goes downhill from there.

The sheer stupid and crazy is something everyone should witness at least once.

I actually think I can safely pass on that experience, with enough knowledge to know that there are some things I don't wanna know firsthand.

Well. Since you're one of them there smudgy people and my family all missed the cut for the KKK only because their sheets are covered in shit stains, it's probably safer.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Something bug related, found a cool blogspot with some awesome photos. http://amazingbugs.blogspot.com

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Something bug related, found a cool blogspot with some awesome photos. http://amazingbugs.blogspot.com

That's pretty cool!