2 things: Replies to Doktor Howl, and others who have abused my voicemail

[Richter]

1.  I know about my voicemail lady.  She never has been on my side, and for all to be well, she never will be on my side.  She hates me.  It is her job.  She is an underemployed Berklee grad, recipient of the berklee curse (for Boston IS, among all else, a city of curses.)  She entered into my service years ago, and has been screening the callers of the horrible wafer of circuitry that habitually disturbs my peace.  She loathes me, and has been loathing me more with each successive year. 
This will continue until a certain apex, when she screamingly decides to leave my employ.  At this time I will propose marriage  ("...and what's your name again?") 

One of two things will happen, she will either kill me on the spot, or say yes - which will set me up with all the violent hatesex I need for the next 2 years at least.   If these carnal combatives do not kill me, or the resulting consumption of booze and drugs we will both need to servive this horizintal helter skelter, we will at least spawn children with the stones to challenge me to deathmatch as soon as they hit 18.

All outcomes: PROBLEM SOLVED.

So lay off on my damn voicemail lady.

2.  Of course you didn't catch any hell for that.  In certain workplaces being effective, principled, and weird makes you immune to ALL the bullshit and ALL the blame.  All complaints against my own work are silenced by the fact that I am at least one decimal point less error-prone than any other human they pay, and the fact that I work well with bloody everyone when I have to, for example. 

As to your teflon nature I'm sure Enabler will be thrilled. 

DOK HOWL HAS NO LUBE  DOK HOWL NEED NO LUBE.

[Richter]

Attn. Groomzilla -

1. An itinerary would have been good BEFORE THE BACHELOR PARTY.  I now have to move your timetable up by one hour with a headful of scotch and a posse of unshaved gadabouts to muster. 

2.  The aforementioned itinerary is UFCKING USELESS if you decided to step it up, again, because you are concerned.  I assure you your forthcoming removal of any decision making priviledge will be a blessing.  The wedding will go fine however it goes down.  Namaste Fucker.

3.  Next time you need any of us to potentially play bouncer  we really need to know before we rent suits.  Not the day of the event.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like this thread.

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah, well, while you East coast bastards have been getting all weird with Berkeley grads, Tucson has been doing it's thing.

While screaming at construction workers from my car today, I suddenly noticed something...They've torn out all the horrible old bridges and are replacing them.  Not only that, but they've kept THREE LANES OPEN EACH WAY while doing so.  They did, of course, drop the speed limit by 20 MPH so the state police can do their thing.  We're fixing our infrastructure.  Where is the money coming from?  Nobody knows.

This is TUCSON, and YOUR RULES DON'T APPLY HERE.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yeah, well, while you East coast bastards have been getting all weird with Berkeley grads, Tucson has been doing it's thing.

While screaming at construction workers from my car today, I suddenly noticed something...They've torn out all the horrible old bridges and are replacing them.  Not only that, but they've kept THREE LANES OPEN EACH WAY while doing so.  They did, of course, drop the speed limit by 20 MPH so the state police can do their thing.  We're fixing our infrastructure.  Where is the money coming from?  Nobody knows.

This is TUCSON, and YOUR RULES DON'T APPLY HERE.

Cartels? I think that's how Del Rio, TX finally managed to fix a lot of stuff.

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah, well, while you East coast bastards have been getting all weird with Berkeley grads, Tucson has been doing it's thing.

While screaming at construction workers from my car today, I suddenly noticed something...They've torn out all the horrible old bridges and are replacing them.  Not only that, but they've kept THREE LANES OPEN EACH WAY while doing so.  They did, of course, drop the speed limit by 20 MPH so the state police can do their thing.  We're fixing our infrastructure.  Where is the money coming from?  Nobody knows.

This is TUCSON, and YOUR RULES DON'T APPLY HERE.

Cartels? I think that's how Del Rio, TX finally managed to fix a lot of stuff.

No, no, anyone who tried that here would be eaten alive for talking to Mexicans.

I just think the normal rules of physics and finance are kinda sloppy here.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yeah, well, while you East coast bastards have been getting all weird with Berkeley grads, Tucson has been doing it's thing.

While screaming at construction workers from my car today, I suddenly noticed something...They've torn out all the horrible old bridges and are replacing them.  Not only that, but they've kept THREE LANES OPEN EACH WAY while doing so.  They did, of course, drop the speed limit by 20 MPH so the state police can do their thing.  We're fixing our infrastructure.  Where is the money coming from?  Nobody knows.

This is TUCSON, and YOUR RULES DON'T APPLY HERE.

Cartels? I think that's how Del Rio, TX finally managed to fix a lot of stuff.

No, no, anyone who tried that here would be eaten alive for talking to Mexicans.

I just think the normal rules of physics and finance are kinda sloppy here.

[Richter]

My bet?  They're taking a more literal appraoch to "rolling" border jumpers back home.