Using the Texas Definition of Expert, I am an Expert on Terrorism

[Doktor Howl]

Wow.  The FBI is loony tunes.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Wow.  The FBI is loony tunes.

That moment when the FBI as presented in the fucking X-Files seems like a more reasonable organization than the real one...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did you know the Texas definition is still more rigorous than the FBI definition of a terrorism expert, which seems to mostly involve being a whackadoodle Christian fundamentalist?

WOW WOW WOW. 

I really want to say something about indoctrination, authoritarian personalities, and false information within institutionalized belief systems, but I can't make myself coherent right now.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I ate burritos for breakfast (regular burritos, not breakfast burritos. No one tells me what I can eat when.) and pizza for lunch.

I peed standing up and when I pooped it took one flush because I don't have one of those fucked up German style "toilets" where you have to examine your waste product and coax it along. I also didn't use a bidet because who the fuck uses those?

Tonight, I'm going to stump trivia and not paying for dinner because we won a gift card last week.

[Doktor Howl]

I ate burritos for breakfast (regular burritos, not breakfast burritos. No one tells me what I can eat when.) and pizza for lunch.

AMERICAN™ AS FUCK.

I peed standing up and when I pooped it took one flush because I don't have one of those fucked up German style "toilets" where you have to examine your waste product and coax it along. I also didn't use a bidet because who the fuck uses those?

SHIT YEAH

Tonight, I'm going to stump trivia and not paying for dinner because we won a gift card last week.

AMERICA™ IS ALL ABOUT WINNING.

[Left]

I shampooed my buttcrack. Now it doesn't "crunch" when I sit down.

Also I've just added "buttcrack" to my spell checker dictionary 

Do I want to know why your buttcrack crunched in the first place?
...No...No.
I really don't.

Wow.  The FBI is loony tunes.

Looks like it. 

[Doktor Howl]

I shampooed my buttcrack. Now it doesn't "crunch" when I sit down.

Also I've just added "buttcrack" to my spell checker dictionary 

Do I want to know why your buttcrack crunched in the first place?
...No...No.
I really don't.

He's from Scotland.  Duh.

[Left]

I shampooed my buttcrack. Now it doesn't "crunch" when I sit down.

Also I've just added "buttcrack" to my spell checker dictionary 

Do I want to know why your buttcrack crunched in the first place?
...No...No.
I really don't.

He's from Scotland.  Duh.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Today I put a bunch of unsuspecting "artsy" kids in debt for the rest of their lives, because they don't have the GPA requirements to go to University, and I don't regret doing it because I see their paperwork and know they wouldn't cut it in a classroom where they had to learn anything other than how to make PHAT BEATS!
"I have to sign it where it says signature??"

I did not participate in the company "hot dog party" because fuck them. I didn't like their tone.

I stared at a monitor till my eyes turned to black marmalade and then I went home, consumed an old piece of cold fried chicken with hot sauce and thought about exploding Texas, because CORONA is NOT in any way a craft beer OR an import.

Fuck you Texas.

[Doktor Howl]

Today I put a bunch of unsuspecting "artsy" kids in debt for the rest of their lives, because they don't have the GPA requirements to go to University, and I don't regret doing it because I see their paperwork and know they wouldn't cut it in a classroom where they had to learn anything other than how to make PHAT BEATS!
"I have to sign it where it says signature??"

I did not participate in the company "hot dog party" because fuck them. I didn't like their tone.

I stared at a monitor till my eyes turned to black marmalade and then I went home, consumed an old piece of cold fried chicken with hot sauce and thought about exploding Texas, because CORONA is NOT in any way a craft beer OR an import.

Fuck you Texas.

TERRORIST.  TEXAS IS WHAT THE REST OF THE COUNTRY LOOKS UP TO.  I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ASKED TEXANS.

[Freeky]

I looked at the link in your sign and wasn't completely horrified.


I ignored the complete agony in my teeth and the way I can just barely open my jaw.


I was annoyed by someone eating loudly because I have the right to not be disgusted by their eating habits.  They, however, can fuck off while I eat, I don't care what they think.

[Cain]

Did you know the Texas definition is still more rigorous than the FBI definition of a terrorism expert, which seems to mostly involve being a whackadoodle Christian fundamentalist?

WOW WOW WOW. 

I really want to say something about indoctrination, authoritarian personalities, and false information within institutionalized belief systems, but I can't make myself coherent right now.

Note this was in 2011, when I was still working shit minimum wage security jobs to make ends meet.

Now imagine, after my training, how I felt reading this.  Aside from all of the above, which are valid points, it felt like a kick in the teeth, because I myself could do much better on the subject, knew the topic well, and yet some moron with nothing except a bunch of idiotic talking points supplied by Pam Geller and Robert Spencer were being allowed to shape the FBI's understanding of the War on Terror.  And then prance around calling themselves "terrorism experts" by virtue of having the FBI's blessing, allowing them to actively use the media to insert their own sectarian understanding of Islam and further exacerbate religious tensions.

I know my chosen field is full of charlatans, but normally they're a bit more knowledgeable than this.

[Junkenstein]

The shot with a sample of the reading list is quite telling. I doubt there's the same amount of reading material dealing with white power groups.
From the article:

One example is found in the mandatory orientation material for the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Forces, or JTTFs. Those task forces are a nationwide partnership between the FBI, intelligence analysts and state and local police. As of late last week, according to a law enforcement source familiar with the program, new members or those needing a belated orientation saw this description of Sunnism — the largest branch of Islam — as part of their online training course:

Sunni Muslims have been prolific in spawning numerous and varied fundamentalist extremist terrorist organizations. Sunni core doctrine and end state have remained the same and they continue to strive for Sunni Islamic domination of the world to prove a key Quranic assertion that no system of government or religion on earth can match the Quran's purity and effectiveness for paving the road to God.

That paragraph is contained in orientation material, known as the Joint Terrorism Task Force Orientation v2 course, distributed online through a secure intranet for every member of the JTTFs. That's approximately 4,400 officials, according to FBI figures, all charged with stopping terrorism. The orientation course is mandatory for every member of the task force.

The passage is especially odd because most of the orientation consists of practical, mundane information, such as the proper forms to fill out during an inquiry or FBI standards for investigations, according to the source. It consists of five sections, one of which is about Islam, Muslims and Arab culture. The supervisor of each JTTF has to certify that all his or her personnel have completed the online orientation course, and then must pass that certification up to FBI Headquarters' Counterterrorism Division.

The FBI would neither confirm nor deny the existence of the JTTF orientation material.

There's so many layers of bad idea here I'm not sure where to start.

[Cain]

Dok Howl: how American is assaulting civil rights protestors with an American flag?

[Doktor Howl]

Dok Howl: how American is assaulting civil rights protestors with an American flag?

I can't see the picture, but TERRORIST AS FUCK.

This is AMERICA™.  We use GUNS.