Spot the Hilarity

[hooplala]

[Doktor Howl]

Everybody is blaming somebody else for their mistakes.

We the people voted these assholes in, and now we're wondering what's going wrong.

DING DING DING.

Also, we're demanding that they stop fucking around, and start fucking around.   

The "democracy" we're offered is the problem. We are only given the option to vote for whoever is groomed and presented to us by big money sponsorship, so we can hardly blame the voters when the bastards who run are the bastards that get in, now can we? Because the third option is not to vote, and oh my do I remember a shitstorm when I announced that I wasn't voting.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't, because the process itself is fucked, and no matter who you vote for, you end up with a creep, a shill, or a charlatan in office.

There are a very, very few exceptions, but for the most part, all politicians have their primary allegiance with Capitalism, which means that their motives are to "boost the economy" by increasing revenue flow to the richest at the expense of everyone else.

The funny part about that is, what they're doing is AWFUL for capitalism.  Worst thing that ever happened to capitalism was the fall of communism, I say.

Anyway, it's not about politicians.  As I said above, the horror has become self-generating; the level of insanity in the United States has reached the point where the craziest idea is best, and the poll linked in the OP shows that.  They all want congress to function, but then say that the things they want it to do are the SAME THINGS THAT GOT US WHERE WE ARE NOW.

It's the population that's insane, Nigel.  The politicians are just a display on the thermometer.  Increasingly, this is also true of our "Captains of Industry".

[Doktor Howl]

I mean, look around; Capitalism has become SO BLOATED that it is now indistinguishable from Soviet Communism in 1985.

We don't have to wait in line for toilet paper, this is true...We just can't afford it.

We don't burn books - or "offensive" magazine covers - we just take them off the shelves.

We don't have secret arrests and trials...Um, wait.  Yeah, we do.

We don't have secret police.  Wait, sorry, I was all 20th century for a moment there.

We don't have a politburo.  Instead, we have a completely ineffectual congress.

Our leaders and captains of industry drive Western automobiles.  We have Zils.  Our leaders eat caviar, we hope there are enough potatos.

I'm happy to be a kulak.  True capitalism in our lifetime!

[Junkenstein]

The above begs a rewrite of Yakov Smirnoff's routine.

In Democracy American, You vote to fuck Self in ass!

Or something. There's jokes here, lots of them.

[Doktor Howl]

The above begs a rewrite of Yakov Smirnoff's routine.

In Democracy American, You vote to fuck Self in ass!

Or something. There's jokes here, lots of them.

I GOT SO MANY JOKES, I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ANY MORE STORIES.  BECAUSE THEY ALL COME TRUE.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

In Democracy American, You vote to fuck Self in ass!

Yeah, the American public was just asking for it over the course of 30 years and the wealthy elite quietly and steadily complied. There was nothing predatory, systematic, or conspiratorial about it, and if there was, it was mostly the fault of the people harmed by it. Hmmm...

[Doktor Howl]

In Democracy American, You vote to fuck Self in ass!

Yeah, the American public was just asking for it over the course of 30 years and the wealthy elite quietly and steadily complied. There was nothing predatory, systematic, or conspiratorial about it, and if there was, it was mostly the fault of the people harmed by it. Hmmm...

Who screamed to be protected - made "safe" - at all costs?

Who screamed for the government to "get tough on crime"?

Who supported the bizarre invasion of Iraq with an 81-87% majority?

Who calls bank reform "communism"?

(fun fact:  http://www.gallup.com/poll/127448/Banking-Reform-Sells-Better-Wall-Street-Mentioned.aspx 43% of Americans oppose bank reform)

[Doktor Howl]

Fun thing is, the wealthy elite SOLD it, and the American people lined up to BUY it.

Mostly, I think, due to the "pre-rich" meme.

[Junkenstein]

In Democracy American, You vote to fuck Self in ass!

Yeah, the American public was just asking for it over the course of 30 years and the wealthy elite quietly and steadily complied. There was nothing predatory, systematic, or conspiratorial about it, and if there was, it was mostly the fault of the people harmed by it. Hmmm...

There's almost an argument for exactly that really. If you don't stop someone fucking you over, you will get fucked over.

Also, yes. That's exactly what I said. You've totally not had an understanding bypass of the joke at all.


ETA - Yes. Madonna drinks Coke and you can too. It's all about the aspiration and thinking that you're making a positive choice while shitting your pants.

[Left]

The above begs a rewrite of Yakov Smirnoff's routine.

In Democracy American, You vote to fuck Self in ass!

Or something. There's jokes here, lots of them.

As I can tell you very well, just because something ain't your fault, doesn't mean it's not your problem.
And life's not fair, so you get to fix problems that aren't your fault...that's just the way it fucking is.

...I think we've been denying that our country, our culture, our society is a collective endeavor for long enough that it's all gone to shit.

Personal responsibility is good, but that doesn't mean there's no such thing as COLLECTIVE responsibility.
Part of our electorate denies there IS such a thing!

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Fun thing is, the wealthy elite SOLD it, and the American people lined up to BUY it.

Mostly, I think, due to the "pre-rich" meme.

What socio-economic problem in America ISN'T the people's fault?

What are plutocrats and multi-national profiteers culpable FOR, if anything?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Everybody is blaming somebody else for their mistakes.

We the people voted these assholes in, and now we're wondering what's going wrong.

DING DING DING.

Also, we're demanding that they stop fucking around, and start fucking around.   

The "democracy" we're offered is the problem. We are only given the option to vote for whoever is groomed and presented to us by big money sponsorship, so we can hardly blame the voters when the bastards who run are the bastards that get in, now can we? Because the third option is not to vote, and oh my do I remember a shitstorm when I announced that I wasn't voting.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't, because the process itself is fucked, and no matter who you vote for, you end up with a creep, a shill, or a charlatan in office.

There are a very, very few exceptions, but for the most part, all politicians have their primary allegiance with Capitalism, which means that their motives are to "boost the economy" by increasing revenue flow to the richest at the expense of everyone else.

The funny part about that is, what they're doing is AWFUL for capitalism.  Worst thing that ever happened to capitalism was the fall of communism, I say.

Anyway, it's not about politicians.  As I said above, the horror has become self-generating; the level of insanity in the United States has reached the point where the craziest idea is best, and the poll linked in the OP shows that.  They all want congress to function, but then say that the things they want it to do are the SAME THINGS THAT GOT US WHERE WE ARE NOW.

It's the population that's insane, Nigel.  The politicians are just a display on the thermometer.  Increasingly, this is also true of our "Captains of Industry".

I don't agree... I think the population has been slowly pushed into a situation of greater and greater stress, this is true, but greed by the those in power is the controlling factor, not the people demanding it. Eating what they're sold because policy-makers tell them it's what's good for them, true, but that's a slightly different story.

I have to go to work now, I'll jump back in later.

[Junkenstein]

What are plutocrats and multi-national profiteers culpable FOR, if anything?

Everything and nothing. That's the hilarity.

[Doktor Howl]

Fun thing is, the wealthy elite SOLD it, and the American people lined up to BUY it.

Mostly, I think, due to the "pre-rich" meme.

What socio-economic problem in America ISN'T the people's fault?

What are plutocrats and multi-national profiteers culpable FOR, if anything?

Oh, they're guilty as sin.  They've been using social engineering since Reagan's day, and very effectively.  But to say that it is ALL their fault is to say that humans have no volition.  Frankly, I can't decide which option is worse.

They sold it, but the American people bought it, in a decades-long fit of utter stupidity.

[Enrico Salazar]

I mean, look around; Capitalism has become SO BLOATED that it is now indistinguishable from Soviet Communism in 1985.

We don't have to wait in line for toilet paper, this is true...We just can't afford it.

We don't burn books - or "offensive" magazine covers - we just take them off the shelves.

We don't have secret arrests and trials...Um, wait.  Yeah, we do.

We don't have secret police.  Wait, sorry, I was all 20th century for a moment there.

We don't have a politburo.  Instead, we have a completely ineffectual congress.

Our leaders and captains of industry drive Western automobiles.  We have Zils.  Our leaders eat caviar, we hope there are enough potatos.

I'm happy to be a kulak.  True capitalism in our lifetime!

Why you whine like dog who fur is too tight for its arsehole, hah?  Is sound glorious to Enrico, is more and more like sweet homeland of Salazore every tuna smelling day!  Rejoice faggots!

When Enrico first step foot onto Amerikan soil in year of 252 (1986 to you faggots), Lucille Ball say to him (she and me had on again off again sausage party for over 30 year... her speaking voice sound like Lambchop puppeto before Enrico come to call, yes.) that he would be disgust influence on Amerikan people and country, and slowly it turn into Salazore, as if by osmondis.  Is truly beautiful, it bring tear to Enrico's glass eye.

So, question is... when Enrico can start roll razorwire onto beach?




Yours truly,

in good times and hairy,

your friend,

still waterproof after all these years,

Enrico.