OK Cupid: Round IVXXXIX

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

When I receive messages from random strangers who are critical of something in my profile, I absolutely assume that they are trying to neg me. Because why the fuck else would someone who obviously DOESN'T LIKE WHAT I'VE WRITTEN and therefore is someone I'm unlikely to want to date message me? Just to try to make me feel bad about my romantic preferences? Fuck that, that's some self-absorbed entitled bullshit right there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here is the thing. People get to decide what they find acceptable or unacceptable around their genitals. YOU don't get to decide. THEY get to decide.

That means that if they can't stand LOL or OMG, or if they can't tolerate poor dental hygiene, or they hate beards with a raging passion, or if they judge people who leave the house wearing sweatpants, or people who voted for Obama, or people who can't use punctuation correctly, or dyslexics, they don't have to be nice about it on their profiles. If that's the thing that's a dealbreaker for them when it comes to who gets to touch their junk, that's for THEM to decide. Don't like it? Move on. Don't fucking harass people because you don't like the way they communicate their standards for who they'd like to fuck.

Seriously, I can't believe I even have to say this.

If this was directed at my response, I agree.  I just want to share the inside of my head with total strangers.

If it was directed at NoLeDeMiel, then I'll just back on up for a moment.

It was directed at NLDM.

I don't think that there's really much, if any, justification, given how much general harassment women receive on a regular basis, for guys to message women on dating sites to "call them out". That is some straight up douchery. I would say that the same is true in reverse but frankly I've never heard of women going around on dating sites calling men out for profiles they don't find appealing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My fucking god, what fucking entitlement. All wrapped up with a bow on it.

"I don't like your profile, it's uppity. You should change it to be more appealing to me".

[Cain]

Probably in the case of men.

Not sure about women though - I had quite a few message me about my "racism" towards Scots.  I can't remember what I said, except it was clearly lighthearted and inoffensive, probably something to do with their cooking.  These were not Scottish women, I should point out.  Or other entirely minor issue, like a preference for a certain author or mild criticism of a tv show.

I think a lot of people on OKCupid are just socially inept, raging assholes with no respect for others. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"I don't find you attractive. Make yourself more attractive to me".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"You're blonde. I prefer brunettes. Dye your hair".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"Your profile says you don't have Daddy issues. I'm going to need you to pretend that you do".

[Doktor Howl]

Here is the thing. People get to decide what they find acceptable or unacceptable around their genitals. YOU don't get to decide. THEY get to decide.

That means that if they can't stand LOL or OMG, or if they can't tolerate poor dental hygiene, or they hate beards with a raging passion, or if they judge people who leave the house wearing sweatpants, or people who voted for Obama, or people who can't use punctuation correctly, or dyslexics, they don't have to be nice about it on their profiles. If that's the thing that's a dealbreaker for them when it comes to who gets to touch their junk, that's for THEM to decide. Don't like it? Move on. Don't fucking harass people because you don't like the way they communicate their standards for who they'd like to fuck.

Seriously, I can't believe I even have to say this.

If this was directed at my response, I agree.  I just want to share the inside of my head with total strangers.

If it was directed at NoLeDeMiel, then I'll just back on up for a moment.

It was directed at NLDM.

I don't think that there's really much, if any, justification, given how much general harassment women receive on a regular basis, for guys to message women on dating sites to "call them out". That is some straight up douchery. I would say that the same is true in reverse but frankly I've never heard of women going around on dating sites calling men out for profiles they don't find appealing.

In my experience, OKC, etc, consists of the following men:

Bitter misogynistic basement cases who want to tell women WHAT:  70%
Trolls:  25%
Guys looking for someone compatible:  5%

And the women seem to be:

Tired ladies aged 30-50 who refuse to face the bar scene anymore and have no time for anything else:  70%
Trolls:  25%
Site Queens:  5%

YMMV, there was no actual science behind this.  Just a general impression.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Probably in the case of men.

Not sure about women though - I had quite a few message me about my "racism" towards Scots.  I can't remember what I said, except it was clearly lighthearted and inoffensive, probably something to do with their cooking.  These were not Scottish women, I should point out.  Or other entirely minor issue, like a preference for a certain author or mild criticism of a tv show.

I think a lot of people on OKCupid are just socially inept, raging assholes with no respect for others.

You may well be on to something there.

[Doktor Howl]

I think it's time for the triumphant return of Susan.

(I have refined this specific troll to a fine art, when it comes to punking MRAs/basement cases.)

[LMNO]

Susan!

I missed her.

[Doktor Howl]

Susan!

I missed her.

I have a new slant on Susan.  Out of focus hottie pic, get some MRA on the line, talk all kindsa nasty.  When he's slobbering and wants a clearer or less dressed pic:



Tons of bonus points if you can get the same guy a few times in a row.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here is the thing. People get to decide what they find acceptable or unacceptable around their genitals. YOU don't get to decide. THEY get to decide.

That means that if they can't stand LOL or OMG, or if they can't tolerate poor dental hygiene, or they hate beards with a raging passion, or if they judge people who leave the house wearing sweatpants, or people who voted for Obama, or people who can't use punctuation correctly, or dyslexics, they don't have to be nice about it on their profiles. If that's the thing that's a dealbreaker for them when it comes to who gets to touch their junk, that's for THEM to decide. Don't like it? Move on. Don't fucking harass people because you don't like the way they communicate their standards for who they'd like to fuck.

Seriously, I can't believe I even have to say this.

If this was directed at my response, I agree.  I just want to share the inside of my head with total strangers.

If it was directed at NoLeDeMiel, then I'll just back on up for a moment.

It was directed at NLDM.

I don't think that there's really much, if any, justification, given how much general harassment women receive on a regular basis, for guys to message women on dating sites to "call them out". That is some straight up douchery. I would say that the same is true in reverse but frankly I've never heard of women going around on dating sites calling men out for profiles they don't find appealing.

In my experience, OKC, etc, consists of the following men:

Bitter misogynistic basement cases who want to tell women WHAT:  70%
Trolls:  25%
Guys looking for someone compatible:  5%

And the women seem to be:

Tired ladies aged 30-50 who refuse to face the bar scene anymore and have no time for anything else:  70%
Trolls:  25%
Site Queens:  5%

YMMV, there was no actual science behind this.  Just a general impression.

That seems about right to me, which is exactly why I no longer use it for dating. Just creeping friend's dates (which invariably end up going badly) and occasionally fucking with some jackass who messaged me to Tell Me What.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

As an aside:

PMing people to tell them they're a jerk: NOT TROLLING.
Getting people to PM you to tell you you're a jerk: TROLLING.

[Cain]

Precisely.

Trolling is an art and skill.  Any idiot can name-call over the internet.  It takes a master to make others name call, though.

(I really wish the media understood this distinction)