The Parable of Mike

[Pæs]

Mike was born at Disneyland. His parents, enamoured by the magic of the park conceived him through rhythmic thrusts to the tune of "It's a Small World" and the community came together to support them, giving the pair jobs as Disney characters and allowing the family to live at the park.

Mike was raised at Disneyland and had never left. Why would he? The park was designed to meet all of the needs of its guests and combined so many varied environments and themes that he could never tire of it.

Mike thought he knew the park pretty well, but one day, when he was well into his teens, he came upon a tall metal fence that he had not seen before. Cautiously, he approached. On the other side of the fence was a quiet street, not a soul in sight save one man sitting in the gutter with his head in his hands.

"Ho, you there!" cried Mike, gaining the man's attention. The man picked himself up and approached the fence. "How are you today, friend?"

The guy scowled, suspecting he was being mocked. "Not too well, actually. I'm pretty down."

Mike was puzzled, "Have you tried riding the cup and saucer ride?"

The guy narrowed his eyes and bitterly responded in the negative. "I can't ride the fucking cup and saucer ride."

Mike canted his head to one side. That didn't make any sense... though perhaps the dude was allergic to tea. "Have you been on the roller coaster today?"

Once again, the guy outside the fence seemed displeased. "No. I can't afford to ride the roller coaster."

Mike frowned. The roller coaster only required two tickets... so he suspected that this guy had simply been greedy and spent all of his tickets on other rides. "Well, you could track down your favourite characters and get their autographs? That doesn't cost anything."

"Yeah, it's that fucking simple. Maybe if my life were as carefree as yours and I could actually get into the park," in a voice which was increasingly hissing at Mike.

Mike was upset, now. His life wasn't carefree at all! In fact, he didn't know anyone with more problems than he had. Sometimes he ran out of tickets a day or so before his parents gave him more and he had to stop going on the rides. Sometimes the weather was bad and he couldn't find his favourite characters exploring the park so well as usual. Worst of all, Mike had to spend a lot of his time waiting in lines! Who was this guy to say his life was easy? And why did he think we wasn't in the park?

It seemed to Mike like the guy outside the fence was just using the fence as an excuse to feel bad for himself and justify his unwillingness to put some work into making himself happy by going on the rides, so he told him so, flipped him the bird and returned to line up for one of his favourite rides.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like this.

[The Johnny]

Pretty solid, I'd like to break it down and commentate, but that would just ruin it, like explaning why a joke's funny when everyone's already had a laugh from it.

So I'll dignify it with no comment. 

[Aucoq]

Great stuff, Paes.

Clearly the man isn't working as hard as Mike or else he'd be riding rides too.

[Reginald Ret]

An excellent story of a disconnect between two worldviews.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

That's hilarious. Well done.

[Doktor Howl]

Nice.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I like it.

I want to see the disagreement around the fence escalate, as that bit seems a little unresolved.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Thats an excellent parable!

[Reginald Ret]

I like it.

I want to see the disagreement around the fence escalate, as that bit seems a little unresolved.

I thought that was the point?

[Junkenstein]

I can't help but wonder what this tale would look like from the opposing point of view.

Probably a lot more depressing, but the meeting at the fence would become hilarious.

For a given value of hilarity, obviously.