Who are YOU going to be?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I actually looked up "the valley of sickness" thing and it turns out that it's pretty much a myth designed to make white people feel good about giving all the indians smallpox and tuberculosis and herding them onto reservations and stealing the richest farmland in the world from them.

Nonetheless, everything is still all moldy and we live in perpetual twilight and there is still radioactive gas leaking out of the ground. This is a wonderful place.

We have loads of radiation, here.  But we PUT it there.

Ours is natural, and therefore healthy.

Holistic radon.

We could market that...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I actually looked up "the valley of sickness" thing and it turns out that it's pretty much a myth designed to make white people feel good about giving all the indians smallpox and tuberculosis and herding them onto reservations and stealing the richest farmland in the world from them.

Nonetheless, everything is still all moldy and we live in perpetual twilight and there is still radioactive gas leaking out of the ground. This is a wonderful place.

We have loads of radiation, here.  But we PUT it there.

Ours is natural, and therefore healthy.

Holistic radon.

We could market that...

Oh hell yeah.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I actually looked up "the valley of sickness" thing and it turns out that it's pretty much a myth designed to make white people feel good about giving all the indians smallpox and tuberculosis and herding them onto reservations and stealing the richest farmland in the world from them.

Nonetheless, everything is still all moldy and we live in perpetual twilight and there is still radioactive gas leaking out of the ground. This is a wonderful place.

We have loads of radiation, here.  But we PUT it there.

Ours is natural, and therefore healthy.

Holistic radon.

We could market that...

Oh hell yeah.

"Here at Nigelco, we only use gentle, natural radiation, rather than the harsh man-made kind."

Sound funny?  HAR HAR, GUESS WHAT?

"We only use organic fertilizers, rather than harsh chemicals."

WHAT'S IN "Chemical" FERTILIZER?  Phosphates, potassium, and nitrogen, some trace metals.

WHAT's IN "organic" FERTILIZER (blood meal, bone meal, etc)?  Phosphates, potassium, and nitrogen, some trace metals.  BUT IT SMELLS BAD, SO YOU KNOW IT'S WORKING.  AND IT TAKES LONGER, SO YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD FOR DA EARF.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well, fertilizer's a little more complicated. Maybe not the best example.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

But you know what a good example is?

FLUORIDE.

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

FLUORIDE. HOW DOES IT WORK?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

Wait. 

What?

[Ben Shapiro]

But you know what a good example is?

FLUORIDE.

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

FLUORIDE. HOW DOES IT WORK?

Urge to kill rising.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

Wait. 

What?

Oh yeah I am not even shitting you. One of them even SAID SO in chemistry class Spring term. Everyone just stared at him. Fluoride.

It is the thing that it is, period.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I only take natural iron. It's much better than that horrible chemical iron.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

Wait. 

What?

Oh yeah I am not even shitting you. One of them even SAID SO in chemistry class Spring term. Everyone just stared at him. Fluoride.

It is the thing that it is, period.

No.  The GOOD flouride gets put there by NATURE, who is nice.

The BAD flouride is made by PEOPLE, who are mean.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I only take natural iron. It's much better than that horrible chemical iron.

I prefer "harsh chemical iron".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

Wait. 

What?

Oh yeah I am not even shitting you. One of them even SAID SO in chemistry class Spring term. Everyone just stared at him. Fluoride.

It is the thing that it is, period.

No.  The GOOD flouride gets put there by NATURE, who is nice.

The BAD flouride is made by PEOPLE, who are mean.

It makes me want to cry.

I have also been recently informed that sea salt is much better for you than regular table salt, and isn't implicated in hypertension.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I only take natural iron. It's much better than that horrible chemical iron.

I prefer "harsh chemical iron".

It's harsh, because it's chemical.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Because people absolutely insist that "natural fluoride" is better for you than "chemical fluoride".

Wait. 

What?

Oh yeah I am not even shitting you. One of them even SAID SO in chemistry class Spring term. Everyone just stared at him. Fluoride.

It is the thing that it is, period.

No.  The GOOD flouride gets put there by NATURE, who is nice.

The BAD flouride is made by PEOPLE, who are mean.

It makes me want to cry.

I have also been recently informed that sea salt is much better for you than regular table salt, and isn't implicated in hypertension.

Get out of there.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I only take natural iron. It's much better than that horrible chemical iron.

I prefer "harsh chemical iron".

It's harsh, because it's chemical.

And because it's man-made, and the "man" involved isn't even a Native American.