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The Kitchen Chronicles

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, September 16, 2013, 03:10:44 PM

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Q. G. Pennyworth

#30
September 17, 2013, 06:45:06 PM
Did she not mark the carton?

Reginald Ret

#31
September 17, 2013, 06:45:15 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on September 17, 2013, 06:39:05 PM
Quote from: What The Fox Say on September 17, 2013, 05:04:58 PM
Have You People ever heard of "timers"?

Smoke detector, right?
Oh i had several of those. The first to get destroyed was the one in the kitchen. For some reason it started screaming in my ear. This is unacceptable, it totally took the zen out of my cooking.
A few weeks later the one in the hallway died mysteriously of similar causes.
Fun fact! One kept screaming even after i pulled the batteries out, so i locked it in the booze cabinet. That eventually got it to quiet down.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

The Good Reverend Roger

#32
September 17, 2013, 06:46:12 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:45:06 PM
Did she not mark the carton?

I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO READ EVERYTHING!  EGGS IS EGGS!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#33
September 17, 2013, 06:51:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 06:46:12 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:45:06 PM
Did she not mark the carton?

I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO READ EVERYTHING!  EGGS IS EGGS!

BLAME SHIFTED BACK TO YOU.

The Good Reverend Roger

#34
September 17, 2013, 06:52:03 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:51:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 06:46:12 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:45:06 PM
Did she not mark the carton?

I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO READ EVERYTHING!  EGGS IS EGGS!

BLAME SHIFTED BACK TO YOU.

Do you have any idea what happens when you try to scramble a hard boiled egg?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#35
September 17, 2013, 06:54:13 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 06:52:03 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:51:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 06:46:12 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:45:06 PM
Did she not mark the carton?

I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO READ EVERYTHING!  EGGS IS EGGS!

BLAME SHIFTED BACK TO YOU.

Do you have any idea what happens when you try to scramble a hard boiled egg?

No, because I MARK THE CARTON LIKE A SANE PERSON. Also, if the egg for some reason fails to be a raw egg, I don't THEN ATTEMPT TO SCRAMBLE IT. THE PROTEINS ARE SOLID. YOU CAN'T UNDO THAT SHIT.

LMNO

#36
September 17, 2013, 07:01:02 PM
Sure you can.  Put it in a blender first.

The Good Reverend Roger

#37
September 17, 2013, 07:01:34 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:54:13 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 06:52:03 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:51:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 06:46:12 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 17, 2013, 06:45:06 PM
Did she not mark the carton?

I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO READ EVERYTHING!  EGGS IS EGGS!

BLAME SHIFTED BACK TO YOU.

Do you have any idea what happens when you try to scramble a hard boiled egg?

No, because I MARK THE CARTON LIKE A SANE PERSON. Also, if the egg for some reason fails to be a raw egg, I don't THEN ATTEMPT TO SCRAMBLE IT. THE PROTEINS ARE SOLID. YOU CAN'T UNDO THAT SHIT.

Well, I wasn't going to back out, not with everyone watching.

And you're right about the proteins.  But they can get MORE solid.  At different rates.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#38
September 17, 2013, 07:01:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 17, 2013, 07:01:02 PM
Sure you can.  Put it in a blender first.

GENIUS!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#39
September 17, 2013, 07:07:16 PM
Tonight's project:  Bisquick pancakes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#40
September 17, 2013, 07:29:08 PM
Camera.  I beg you.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#41
September 17, 2013, 08:37:44 PM Last Edit: September 17, 2013, 08:40:29 PM by What The Fox Say
Quote from: :regret: on September 17, 2013, 06:38:08 PM
Quote from: What The Fox Say on September 17, 2013, 05:04:58 PM
Have You People ever heard of "timers"?
Yes. I recently got one. It is weird though, you are supposed to put it in the water and the color changes depending on time spent at boiling temperature. So it give you a clear signal when to take the eggs out if you want them either soft/hard boiled/green/exploding. I don't really understand how that would help me since i tend to be in a different part of the house by then.

That sounds like a "doneness indicator". I am talking about a kitchen timer, that you set for a certain time and that sounds an alarm when that time has elapsed.



Also, don't light fires and walk away, i.e. put something on to cook and then go to a different part of the house. Just don't. Unless you WANT your house to burn down and your family to die.

If you simply must go into a different room while something is cooking, get a portable timer and take it with you.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#42
September 17, 2013, 08:39:26 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on September 17, 2013, 07:07:16 PM
Tonight's project:  Bisquick pancakes.

Sigh.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Ben Shapiro

#43
September 17, 2013, 09:11:39 PM
Simple things for Roger to boost cooking morale:

Fluffy Eggs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGyb7uBXe9E

Chinese American:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_dkYNq8G9Y

Mc' Chicken Homemade. This guy teaches you how to make fast food stuff at home. I tend to experiment with the recipes etc..
Like no MSG,Asparteme, no HFC etc..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbUcq5fWgJc

The Good Reverend Roger

#44
September 17, 2013, 09:15:54 PM
Quote from: Reverend What's His Bear on September 17, 2013, 09:11:39 PM
Simple things for Roger to boost cooking morale:

Fluffy Eggs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGyb7uBXe9E

Chinese American:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_dkYNq8G9Y

Mc' Chicken Homemade. This guy teaches you how to make fast food stuff at home. I tend to experiment with the recipes etc..
Like no MSG,Asparteme, no HFC etc..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbUcq5fWgJc

I'll be happy when I can make the eggs stop ablating in the pan.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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