Oh well. *Personal Shit*

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Alty, you are a rock-solid good person and you do not deserve this or anything like this at all. I absolutely second Pixie, and more than that, I recommend telling her your decision after she apologizes, and then, most importantly, following through on it no matter what she says.

Do not use it as a threat, because that just gives her a chance to say that she will go to therapy and then never follow through on it, or to go a few times and then stop. Instead, take the tack that you are moving out, period, and that if she attends therapy for three months AND it makes a difference in how she treats you, you can talk about moving back in together, AND seeing a marriage counselor. None of this once-a-month crap, either; I'm talking every other week at a bare minimum.

And you have to be prepared for the possibility that she won't follow through. It sucks, but sometimes abusive people are more afraid to take responsibility for their abusive behavior than they are to lose someone they love.

[Salty]

Thank you guys for the help. It means a lot.

For the time being, I am going to move into my kids room, he's only there half the time and I've got a hammock set up. I depend on her to keep an eye on the kid while.I work, and just shifted my whole schedule based on that.

I have told her I do not want her to help me with the kid, or my work, and to get a job. Three months sounds like a good time frame for me.

[Salty]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

[Ben Shapiro]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

OPEN MARRIAGE?!?!?!! Fuck her dude! You deserve better!

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

OPEN MARRIAGE?!?!?!! Fuck her dude! You deserve better!

That all depends on if Alty would be happy with an open arrangement if she wasn't being abusive. Your values aren't his, dude.

And to be honest, I'd not really take your advice in a situation like this, seeing as your advice was to turn abusive behaviour back on someone. I do however, hope that seeing this thread motivates you to get therapy for your own behaviour. I'm not trying to shame you, Bear, and admitting you have a problem is the first step to sorting shit out, but it's just the first step.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

Good luck! I hope she pulls it together. And I hope you redirect your energy into taking care of you. A relationship should be mutual  giving, and it sounds really unbalanced right now.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

OPEN MARRIAGE?!?!?!! Fuck her dude! You deserve better!

This could well be a situation preferable to Alty too, and not necessarily a one sided situation.

That said, during this time period, the marriage should remain closed. She needs to focus on what she has with you.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That second line is addressed to Alty, obviously.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Also, let me know if you need some more nut-free bastards.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Also, Alty, I don't know what I can offer other than moral support, but whatever you need and whatever I can offer, it's yours man.

[Ben Shapiro]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

OPEN MARRIAGE?!?!?!! Fuck her dude! You deserve better!

That all depends on if Alty would be happy with an open arrangement if she wasn't being abusive. Your values aren't his, dude.

And to be honest, I'd not really take your advice in a situation like this, seeing as your advice was to turn abusive behaviour back on someone. I do however, hope that seeing this thread motivates you to get therapy for your own behaviour. I'm not trying to shame you, Bear, and admitting you have a problem is the first step to sorting shit out, but it's just the first step.

I'm in a open marriage as well, but the wife is not interested in other women and men. Both our wives have total freedom. Even after that Alty's wife is still crapping on him. Hence my outrage about his wife. Alty is god damn angel for putting up with this.

[Ben Shapiro]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

OPEN MARRIAGE?!?!?!! Fuck her dude! You deserve better!

That all depends on if Alty would be happy with an open arrangement if she wasn't being abusive. Your values aren't his, dude.

And to be honest, I'd not really take your advice in a situation like this, seeing as your advice was to turn abusive behaviour back on someone. I do however, hope that seeing this thread motivates you to get therapy for your own behaviour. I'm not trying to shame you, Bear, and admitting you have a problem is the first step to sorting shit out, but it's just the first step.

When the wife feels trapped like a caged animal, and she tells me this I'll go get help. She told me you've almost done with these random fits of rage. She's not scared, or threatened so just reminds me you're acting like a jackass again to stop me from being that asshole again.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

The really, really stupid thing about all of this is how good I am to her. We have an open marriage, and I have no jealousy issues, she is free in every conceivable way. She does nothing but what she wants. She wakes my ass up at 5am (once) after playing bike polo and partying, and gets upset when I am a mental ruin because of it.

I constantly try to motivate and encourage her. I make an effort to.make her feel good about her self and her body. Clearly this has all been a mistake. Its just how I am in a relationship. I am constantly available to her.

OPEN MARRIAGE?!?!?!! Fuck her dude! You deserve better!

That all depends on if Alty would be happy with an open arrangement if she wasn't being abusive. Your values aren't his, dude.

And to be honest, I'd not really take your advice in a situation like this, seeing as your advice was to turn abusive behaviour back on someone. I do however, hope that seeing this thread motivates you to get therapy for your own behaviour. I'm not trying to shame you, Bear, and admitting you have a problem is the first step to sorting shit out, but it's just the first step.

When the wife feels trapped like a caged animal, and she tells me this she'll force more to go. She told me you've almost done with these random fits of rage. She's not scared, or threatened so just reminds me you're acting like a jackass again to step me from being that asshole again.

You still need to take ownership and fix your shit though.  I would've booted someone who has random fits of rage out but that's because my dad was abusive and ragey dudes are bad for my mental health.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

basically, if it keeps happening, fix your shit.

[Ben Shapiro]

I've been talking to Alty privately. Since I had similar behavior to his wife minus the violent fits of rage I felt I could discuss what my wife did, and things he can try as well as the separation thing.