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Arizona Congressman Jumps Shark.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 16, 2013, 05:43:03 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 16, 2013, 05:43:03 PM
http://schweikert.house.gov/press-releases/rep-schweikert-to-treasury-secretary-pursue-alternatives-to-debt-ceiling/

Basically, let's sell off all government land and pillage every existing piece of infrastructure.   :lulz:

So, writing a letter to Congressman Shweikert.

QuoteDear Congressman Shweikert,

I read with amusement your weird letter concerning the debt ceiling, and I have to say that weaseling now appears to be an olympic sport.  You speak as if Fannie May and Freddie Mac have actual cash to appropriate, and you speak as if that "forgotten money" weren't actually already being used to fund road building and social safety net programs.  While YOU may not be on food stamps, and I may not be on food stamps, a great many people are, mostly due to the sort of "leadership" that you and your fellow pilot fish have demonstrated since 1980 or so.

I could not help noticing that your solution did not involve ending the ruinous war in Afghanistan, nor did it mention the possibility of not purchasing the new aircraft carrier the Navy has on order.  While this may be prudent if we expect the ghost of Tojo to attack Pearl Harbor with a few squadrons of zombie kamikaze pilots, this is probably not the case in the real world in which I - and everyone I know - live.

Now, I realize just how important the war in Afghanistan is to you and your colleagues.  Why, if the wrong people wound up controlling the poppy fields, we'd have cats and dogs fucking in the very streets.  We would be watching our nation's youth strung out on horse they bought from the wrong bad guys.  And we just can't have that.

As I sit typing this, there remains just over 24 hours before the deadline passes and everything goes in the crapper.  Yet, instead of, you know, doing your job, you are continuing the 2 year fucking temper-tantrum that you fat bastards have been indulging yourselves in ever since you oozed your way into the house.  You are bad for America.  You are bad for Americans.  You are a disgrace, and it pains me to notice that you and your pals haven't tumbled to the fact that we, the people of America, hate your filthy stinking guts, and we hope you all get pancreatic cancer.  The sneaky kind that doesn't become symptomatic until it's too late, and your posh congressional health care plan can't help you.

I really, honestly, cannot describe my yearning for the next election, when we can toss you out on your useless asses.  Even the Red Chinese are laughing at us, you fat sack of lard.  You and people like you are why America is KNEELING TALL.

I hate you.  My whole family hates you.  You bring us together.

And that's all you're good for.

Venomously Yours,
Hamish Howl

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
October 16, 2013, 05:47:45 PM
That was lovely.  I can't wait to see the form letter they send back.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
October 16, 2013, 05:49:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 16, 2013, 05:47:45 PM
That was lovely.  I can't wait to see the form letter they send back.

Assuming they even bother with that.

It's been years since I sat down and wrote my weekly hate letter to congressmen and other public officials.

That sort of sloth and indolence ends now.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
October 16, 2013, 06:16:46 PM
That letter is delightful!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
October 16, 2013, 06:25:06 PM
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 16, 2013, 06:16:46 PM
That letter is delightful!

More forthcoming.

Congressman Cruz would be the top of the pops, but there's no way anyone NEAR him gets my letter.  That guy must be buried alive.

I'm thinking of hitting hicks from AZ and the Dakotas, instead.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#5
October 16, 2013, 06:29:47 PM
Very enjoyable, would read again.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Pere Ubu

#6
October 16, 2013, 06:32:04 PM
Quoteif the wrong people wound up controlling the poppy fields

Not the CIA, in other words?  :fnord:
If you meet Eris on the road, YOU WERE PROBABLY HOLDING THE MAP UPSIDE DOWN, DUMBASS.

Grand Episkopos and Lord High Executioner of The Temple Of The Screaming Finger

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
October 16, 2013, 06:35:04 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 16, 2013, 06:32:04 PM
Quoteif the wrong people wound up controlling the poppy fields

Not the CIA, in other words?  :fnord:

Jesus.  Shut up.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pere Ubu

#8
October 16, 2013, 06:51:00 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 16, 2013, 06:35:04 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 16, 2013, 06:32:04 PM
Quoteif the wrong people wound up controlling the poppy fields

Not the CIA, in other words?  :fnord:

Jesus.  Shut up.

Hrm.

I guess I'm not permitted to say that I fucking agree with everything you said in that letter, then.
If you meet Eris on the road, YOU WERE PROBABLY HOLDING THE MAP UPSIDE DOWN, DUMBASS.

Grand Episkopos and Lord High Executioner of The Temple Of The Screaming Finger

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
October 16, 2013, 06:54:52 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 16, 2013, 06:51:00 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 16, 2013, 06:35:04 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 16, 2013, 06:32:04 PM
Quoteif the wrong people wound up controlling the poppy fields

Not the CIA, in other words?  :fnord:

Jesus.  Shut up.

Hrm.

I guess I'm not permitted to say that I fucking agree with everything you said in that letter, then.

You're permitted to say anything you want.  This isn't fucking communism or anything.

Seriously.  Say whatever you please...However, I reserve the right to do the same.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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