Authenticity of Approval

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yoga Alliance.

Alliance against WHOM?   

The unwashed?

No, I think it's the Pilates geeks.  Everyone hates those bastards.   

Yoga, Feng Shooey, and the Tai Chi thugs.  Allied against the people with the huge balls.

And TANNING. Don't forget tanning. 

Which side are they on?

The Sun's

No, I think they shun the sun and use tanning beds.  The sun is awfully inconvenient.  It's not even THERE half the damn time.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yoga Alliance.

Alliance against WHOM?   

The unwashed?

No, I think it's the Pilates geeks.  Everyone hates those bastards.   

Yoga, Feng Shooey, and the Tai Chi thugs.  Allied against the people with the huge balls.

And TANNING. Don't forget tanning. 

Which side are they on?

The Sun's

No, I think they shun the sun and use tanning beds.  The sun is awfully inconvenient.  It's not even THERE half the damn time.

And when it's there, it's free. Therefore, it gives you CANCER and you need a TANNING BED.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

(There is a bar on the other side of the mountains that serves chili out of a crockpot.)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I can feel the Holiness™ building.

November is going to be great, here or elsewhere.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I can feel the Holiness™ building.

November is going to be great, here or elsewhere.   

I think you're very, very right. It's starting to leak out of the corners.

[minuspace]

I can feel the Holiness™ building.

November is going to be great, here or elsewhere.   

I think you're very, very right. It's starting to leak out of the corners.

Indeed, I love it when the bodies start to stack-up, smells like Christmas already

[Ben Shapiro]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

I feel like punching a mountain and drinking chili.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I don't mind if people YOGA... its some kind of exercise and Eris Knows that most Americans should get some kind of exercise whenever they can. I don't care that its kinda ripped off from Hindu and is now used by Soccer Moms.

What really makes my Inner Screaming Squirrel Twerk is when the Newage, Hippy Bullshitters ACTUALLY THINK THAT THE AMERICAN STRETCHING EXERCISE YOGA is somehow SPIRITUAL.

[LMNO]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

What's all this about naked lady parties, now?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

I feel like punching a mountain and drinking chili.

It's a great way to start your day!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

What's all this about naked lady parties, now?

It's a thing that women do that is supposed to be enjoyable, where everyone brings their discarded clothes and some wine, then strip down and start trying other people's clothes on while getting drunk.

I loathe them, it's like my own personal hell.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

What's all this about naked lady parties, now?

It's a thing that women do that is supposed to be enjoyable, where everyone brings their discarded clothes and some wine, then strip down and start trying other people's clothes on while getting drunk.

I loathe them, it's like my own personal hell.

And this is what happens when Americans don't culturally appropriate. I mean, it seems better to just swipe something interesting, rather than invent something really lame like that

[LMNO]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

What's all this about naked lady parties, now?

It's a thing that women do that is supposed to be enjoyable, where everyone brings their discarded clothes and some wine, then strip down and start trying other people's clothes on while getting drunk.

I loathe them, it's like my own personal hell.

That is exceedingly less interesting than I was imagining.

Also, i have a feeling this is limited to the PNW.  I have a hard time picturing New Englanders doing this.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I don't like yoga. Yoga is, in fact, one of the two things that as a middle-aged Portland woman I am supposed to like, the other being naked lady parties.

People are always trying to get me to take yoga with them. Luckily, I'm very busy so I have an excuse, and that allows me to get around the part where they look at me like I just grew an arm out of my face when I say that I don't care for yoga.

They always ask me why I don't like it, and I tell them that I'm not very flexible and they always tell me that if I do yoga I will become more flexible. Like being flexible is some sort of BENEFIT, and not a fucking DRAWBACK. I don't WANT to be "flexible". Flexible is for those people who roll their ankles and accidentally dislocate their shoulders trying to carry their purse. My collagen is firm and tight for a reason, and that reason is to make me strong like an ant, so that I can carry bales of straw that weigh as much as I do and hike 6 miles before breakfast. I am not willowy, I am a small tank and I will NOT do yoga, yoga can go fuck itself while I leg motor on over the Tualatin Mountains for a beer and chili on Sunday morning.

What's all this about naked lady parties, now?

It's a thing that women do that is supposed to be enjoyable, where everyone brings their discarded clothes and some wine, then strip down and start trying other people's clothes on while getting drunk.

I loathe them, it's like my own personal hell.

That is exceedingly less interesting than I was imagining.

Also, i have a feeling this is limited to the PNW.  I have a hard time picturing New Englanders doing this.

I could see Ohioans doing it, but then I'd have to burn my eyes out once I saw it.