Sermo De Nationalitate

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I pledge allegiance to The Flag^TM of The United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, [passage in dispute between atheists and theists], indivisible, with Liberty^TM and Justice^TM for All^some

Now of course, the goddamned passage in dispute is "Under God" because, you know, all of the Founders and Framers agreed on this one specific God and all that shit and decided that it totally wasn't a generic deistic metaphor best left alone and ignored.

Most certainly, we are all Americans, theist and atheist alike, so this passage, well, maybe we can come to some common ground with this at some point when it is politically expedient for the extremists on both sides who clearly have no sense of poetry. (History is on the side of the atheists here, I will note.)

No, no no, we must come to some common ground on this whole "God" issue in the Pledge of Allegiance. Clearly "God" is the most significant part of this utterance that we do, with hand over heart looking reverently at the Stars and Stripes.

I gotta say. Even though it is totally in retrospect, one of the most eye opening things about the Pledge was when I was in Ireland.

Yeah, I talk about my Irish heritage and my dual citizenship a lot. Thing is, I don't actually talk much about where it matters. I'm an American who has a clear and well anchored outside perspective on America. That's where it becomes important.

I used to be a very patriotic American, when I was a child. It's easy. I live in the best country in the world, right? Otherwise, why would we not pledge allegiance to a piece of cloth? That cloth must somehow be important. I once even told my Grandfather that America was a free country and Ireland was not, even though I am named after someone who precipitated massive popular support for revolution in Ireland.

Stupid kids right?

Well where does that leave me? Who should I pledge my allegiance to, if I have two options?

One of my cousins in Ireland mocked me once, by saying "I pledge allegiance to the flag, Michael Jackson is a fag" (it was the mid 80s, mind you, when homophobia was the norm)

Homophobia aside, the man had a point. What do I pledge my allegiance to? "USA! USA! USA!!!!"? Ireland?

I pledge allegiance to the human race, and the common siblinghood of all its degenerate members, and to the fractured planet on which they stand, one quagmire, under the Sun, totally divisible, with ideals and hope for all.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The well anchored perspective of course, and why my cousin was mocking me, was that Irishmen and Irishwomen don't pledge allegiance to their flag, or to the republic for which it stands. They are citizens, and they don't have to declare it every morning in school, for the satisfaction of the teacher present. The United States demands this constant pledging. It demands constant loyalty. You must recite it every day until you are actually aware that American law says you don't have to say this prayer to the Rag. I have a passport. I vote when I feel it's necessary or entertaining. At the end of the day, I am human. Not American, not Irish. Human. And all of you are too, wherever you are.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Now of course, the goddamned passage in dispute is "Under God" because, you know, all of the Founders and Framers agreed on this one specific God and all that shit and decided that it totally wasn't a generic deistic metaphor best left alone and ignored.

The pledge of allegiance wasn't introduced until 1942, at which point the founders were all 260 years old and couldn't be held accountable.  On February 7, 1954, in the middle of a red scare, the words "under God" were added to show God that we really, really hated commies.

The original pledge, written by Bellamy in 1892, read:

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all

But even THAT was considered state worship at the time, and nobody fucking touched it until the commies made everyone poop in their pants.

So I think we can safely leave the founders out of this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

All that "in God we trust" and whatnottery was added to our money then, too. It's bullshit.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Now of course, the goddamned passage in dispute is "Under God" because, you know, all of the Founders and Framers agreed on this one specific God and all that shit and decided that it totally wasn't a generic deistic metaphor best left alone and ignored.

The pledge of allegiance wasn't introduced until 1942, at which point the founders were all 260 years old and couldn't be held accountable.  On February 7, 1954, in the middle of a red scare, the words "under God" were added to show God that we really, really hated commies.

The original pledge, written by Bellamy in 1892, read:

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all

But even THAT was considered state worship at the time, and nobody fucking touched it until the commies made everyone poop in their pants.

So I think we can safely leave the founders out of this.

The argument in favor of including God though is based on the false assumption that God was a meaningful and coherently defined word to the Founders, since they invoke him in their documents.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Now of course, the goddamned passage in dispute is "Under God" because, you know, all of the Founders and Framers agreed on this one specific God and all that shit and decided that it totally wasn't a generic deistic metaphor best left alone and ignored.

The pledge of allegiance wasn't introduced until 1942, at which point the founders were all 260 years old and couldn't be held accountable.  On February 7, 1954, in the middle of a red scare, the words "under God" were added to show God that we really, really hated commies.

The original pledge, written by Bellamy in 1892, read:

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all

But even THAT was considered state worship at the time, and nobody fucking touched it until the commies made everyone poop in their pants.

So I think we can safely leave the founders out of this.

The argument in favor of including God though is based on the false assumption that God was a meaningful and coherently defined word to the Founders, since they invoke him in their documents.

He is referenced in one (1) document, the declaration of independence, and that isn't a legal document.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

All that "in God we trust" and whatnottery was added to our money then, too. It's bullshit.

It's a really bizarre thing when you think about that. Especially since the God implied would probably be angered by that sort of thing.