Nigel, LMNO, Twid, yo.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Man that shit is spot on. At the worst times of it, I wouldn't feel anything but boredom. And the idea of doing anything to alleviate the ennui was extremely unappealing. Problem=incredibly bored. Solution=do something fun. Problem=I.... can't bring myself to do fun things for some reason. I kinda don't want to do fun things, even though that makes perfect sense. Guess I'm just fucked, man.

And then the sleeping. I can't say that I've actually felt suicidal outside of puberty when throwing a bucket of aggressive-making testosterone on top of a baseline generally shitty mood will make you want to hurt yourself anyway, because you want to break everything anyway. But the wanting to die thing I can relate to. Suicide indicates an active role in making that happen. Instead, when I'm feeling particularly low I spend most of my time in bed, because sleeping is the least energy consuming way for me to approximate not existing and therefore not feeling the crushing boredom and self-loathing involved.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Another thought on this. I think I recently went through a mini-bout and just didn't recognize it because it felt a little different. I wasn't bored, and I didn't feel sad, I was just uninterested in everything. Including sex. Which screwed with Villager's head a bit because she thought that maybe I was falling out of love with her or didn't find her attractive anymore. That's the real shitty part is how it affects others when they're not trying to force you to be happy. I just didn't want to get it on. My libido was gone. Not her fault. So I put in the extra effort so as not to make her feel like crap either. You know what was kinda funny about that though? I started getting interested in things again.

[Reginald Ret]

Oh yeah I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I'm an OCD perfectionist control freak. Depression lessened my fear of doing things wrong, and allowed me to half-ass shit for the first time in my life. It's very freeing. Fuck it, I say, if I did that wrong somebody will catch it and walk me through it. My pride doesn't have to prevent me from doing things anymore just because I don't have time to make sure they're perfect. Perfectionism is really not always the asset it sounds like it would be, particularly as a student; it can be crippling. In my experience, half-assing an extra credit project and getting it in on time is better than agonizing over it and never turning it in at all.

Also, I was pretty sure that I was going to die if I didn't stop doing what I was doing, which was drinking all the time and not actually accomplishing a fucking thing.

Perfectionism sucks ass. Striving for perfection is just fine but perfectionism means that perfect feels like barely adequate and anything less is a complete failure. It feels as if it is worse than not having tried at all. Some days it even feels as if trying and failing is worse than sabotaging myself. At least that way I will have succeeded at what i was trying.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh yeah I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I'm an OCD perfectionist control freak. Depression lessened my fear of doing things wrong, and allowed me to half-ass shit for the first time in my life. It's very freeing. Fuck it, I say, if I did that wrong somebody will catch it and walk me through it. My pride doesn't have to prevent me from doing things anymore just because I don't have time to make sure they're perfect. Perfectionism is really not always the asset it sounds like it would be, particularly as a student; it can be crippling. In my experience, half-assing an extra credit project and getting it in on time is better than agonizing over it and never turning it in at all.

Also, I was pretty sure that I was going to die if I didn't stop doing what I was doing, which was drinking all the time and not actually accomplishing a fucking thing.

Perfectionism sucks ass. Striving for perfection is just fine but perfectionism means that perfect feels like barely adequate and anything less is a complete failure. It feels as if it is worse than not having tried at all. Some days it even feels as if trying and failing is worse than sabotaging myself. At least that way I will have succeeded at what i was trying.

Oh hell yes. This is why I have taken great joy in my newfound ability to half-ass things. I can start out half-assing, and then if I have time I can rework shit until it's adequate. I feel like I have unlocked ULTIMATE POWER! Hey look at this shit, I'm just gonna sort of throw a half-hearted effort at it. Yeah now I guess I have time to work on it some more, lookit that it's pretty much good enough I guess. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK! I'll just turn it in like this, and guess what it'll get a 94%.

There is a time those six points would have eaten at me. I would have been like, shit, MORON, if you'd just noticed these OBVIOUS oversights you would have at least gotten a 96%.

But now I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. NOT GIVING A FUCK, THAT'S ME.

Guess what I DON'T GIVE A FUCK about right now? Photosynthesis, and the photosynthesis paper I have to write next week. Yep. I seriously do not fucking care about photosynthesis. So I'm just going to half-ass something until it looks pretty much OK, and then if I have some time I'll work on it until it's good enough I guess. And then I'm going to TURN THAT BITCH IN and NOT CARE.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I told my kids, I was like, listen, just half-ass it. It's OK. It's fucking public school, FFS; turn something in, it's better than nothing. This principle has turned them around from F students to A/B students, which is totally good enough because seriously, nobody fucking cares about public school.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Another thought on this. I think I recently went through a mini-bout and just didn't recognize it because it felt a little different. I wasn't bored, and I didn't feel sad, I was just uninterested in everything. Including sex. Which screwed with Villager's head a bit because she thought that maybe I was falling out of love with her or didn't find her attractive anymore. That's the real shitty part is how it affects others when they're not trying to force you to be happy. I just didn't want to get it on. My libido was gone. Not her fault. So I put in the extra effort so as not to make her feel like crap either. You know what was kinda funny about that though? I started getting interested in things again.

I'm still not interested in sex. Which is a lifetime first for me. I just don't care.

[Payne]

Oh yeah I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I'm an OCD perfectionist control freak. Depression lessened my fear of doing things wrong, and allowed me to half-ass shit for the first time in my life. It's very freeing. Fuck it, I say, if I did that wrong somebody will catch it and walk me through it. My pride doesn't have to prevent me from doing things anymore just because I don't have time to make sure they're perfect. Perfectionism is really not always the asset it sounds like it would be, particularly as a student; it can be crippling. In my experience, half-assing an extra credit project and getting it in on time is better than agonizing over it and never turning it in at all.

Also, I was pretty sure that I was going to die if I didn't stop doing what I was doing, which was drinking all the time and not actually accomplishing a fucking thing.

Perfectionism sucks ass. Striving for perfection is just fine but perfectionism means that perfect feels like barely adequate and anything less is a complete failure. It feels as if it is worse than not having tried at all. Some days it even feels as if trying and failing is worse than sabotaging myself. At least that way I will have succeeded at what i was trying.

Oh hell yes. This is why I have taken great joy in my newfound ability to half-ass things. I can start out half-assing, and then if I have time I can rework shit until it's adequate. I feel like I have unlocked ULTIMATE POWER! Hey look at this shit, I'm just gonna sort of throw a half-hearted effort at it. Yeah now I guess I have time to work on it some more, lookit that it's pretty much good enough I guess. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK! I'll just turn it in like this, and guess what it'll get a 94%.

There is a time those six points would have eaten at me. I would have been like, shit, MORON, if you'd just noticed these OBVIOUS oversights you would have at least gotten a 96%.

But now I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. NOT GIVING A FUCK, THAT'S ME.

Guess what I DON'T GIVE A FUCK about right now? Photosynthesis, and the photosynthesis paper I have to write next week. Yep. I seriously do not fucking care about photosynthesis. So I'm just going to half-ass something until it looks pretty much OK, and then if I have some time I'll work on it until it's good enough I guess. And then I'm going to TURN THAT BITCH IN and NOT CARE.

I used to half ass so much in my first couple years at school and still passed everything easy. Then the next round of exams fucking killed me when they turned out to be somewhat harder and I couldn't just coast through. A fact I only learned after I sat the exams and got my results through, of course.

In terms of perfectionism, I've gone through a few phases of that - expecting perfection whenever I attempted something (and kicking myself fucking hard for not achieving it), not attempting anything ever because I couldn't get it perfect and so it seemed like a waste of time and finally embracing a form of omni-mediocrity where (I assume) I'm distinctly slightly below average at everything.

At the moment I'm pretty much resigned to significantly more ignorant than I thought, nowhere near as eloquent as I thought, disappointing in bed and absolutely riddled with neuroses and mental blocks.

Some days I think I'm not the messiah I once was...

[Reginald Ret]

Oh yeah I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I'm an OCD perfectionist control freak. Depression lessened my fear of doing things wrong, and allowed me to half-ass shit for the first time in my life. It's very freeing. Fuck it, I say, if I did that wrong somebody will catch it and walk me through it. My pride doesn't have to prevent me from doing things anymore just because I don't have time to make sure they're perfect. Perfectionism is really not always the asset it sounds like it would be, particularly as a student; it can be crippling. In my experience, half-assing an extra credit project and getting it in on time is better than agonizing over it and never turning it in at all.

Also, I was pretty sure that I was going to die if I didn't stop doing what I was doing, which was drinking all the time and not actually accomplishing a fucking thing.

Perfectionism sucks ass. Striving for perfection is just fine but perfectionism means that perfect feels like barely adequate and anything less is a complete failure. It feels as if it is worse than not having tried at all. Some days it even feels as if trying and failing is worse than sabotaging myself. At least that way I will have succeeded at what i was trying.

Oh hell yes. This is why I have taken great joy in my newfound ability to half-ass things. I can start out half-assing, and then if I have time I can rework shit until it's adequate. I feel like I have unlocked ULTIMATE POWER! Hey look at this shit, I'm just gonna sort of throw a half-hearted effort at it. Yeah now I guess I have time to work on it some more, lookit that it's pretty much good enough I guess. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK! I'll just turn it in like this, and guess what it'll get a 94%.

There is a time those six points would have eaten at me. I would have been like, shit, MORON, if you'd just noticed these OBVIOUS oversights you would have at least gotten a 96%.

But now I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. NOT GIVING A FUCK, THAT'S ME.

Guess what I DON'T GIVE A FUCK about right now? Photosynthesis, and the photosynthesis paper I have to write next week. Yep. I seriously do not fucking care about photosynthesis. So I'm just going to half-ass something until it looks pretty much OK, and then if I have some time I'll work on it until it's good enough I guess. And then I'm going to TURN THAT BITCH IN and NOT CARE.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

YEAH BABY

You know that's how things are done.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Personally, I'm experimenting with "fully-assing" things.  Don't just fuck up, drop your pants and ROLL in your fuck up.  Fucking up half-way gets you in trouble; fucking up ALL THE WAY gets you promoted.

There is nothing in the world that cannot be improved by fucking it up, as long as it is fucked up proper.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It's like when Keelin and I go out for a drive.  She's got 2 wheels on the curb, we're listening to Rob Zombie, and she's all like "Don't tell me how to drive, old man", and then kills someone's mailbox...and I'm all like

THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME.

And...NOTHING HAPPENS.

Now, drive 7 MPH over the limit and tell me what happens.  Oh, yeah, YOU GET A TICKET.  Because you HALF-ASSED IT.

[LMNO]

Didn't Hunter S Thompson have a riff on that in Fear and Loathing?  Something about driving like a maniac to show the cops how in control you are?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Didn't Hunter S Thompson have a riff on that in Fear and Loathing?  Something about driving like a maniac to show the cops how in control you are?

That was when he was leaving Vegas for the first time.  Not quite the same thing.  If you act like a maniac and get pulled over, you're either doomed, or the cop won't want to deal with the mania.

However, if you act like a maniac, you're less likely to get pulled over, because:

1.  If a cop sees you, he probably doesn't want to deal with it (especially if it's close to shift change), and

2.  If other people see it, they won't report it, because they have this weird fear that they will be in trouble, too.  If they see you SORT of acting badly, they'll report it in a heartbeat.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Personally, I'm experimenting with "fully-assing" things.  Don't just fuck up, drop your pants and ROLL in your fuck up.  Fucking up half-way gets you in trouble; fucking up ALL THE WAY gets you promoted.

There is nothing in the world that cannot be improved by fucking it up, as long as it is fucked up proper.

That was my old style of doing things, back in the days when a Bad Idea put a glint in my eye and a silly grin on my face.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Personally, I'm experimenting with "fully-assing" things.  Don't just fuck up, drop your pants and ROLL in your fuck up.  Fucking up half-way gets you in trouble; fucking up ALL THE WAY gets you promoted.

There is nothing in the world that cannot be improved by fucking it up, as long as it is fucked up proper.

That was my old style of doing things, back in the days when a Bad Idea put a glint in my eye and a silly grin on my face.

WE HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT, HAVE WE, CATS?