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Today, for a brief second, I thought of a life without Roger. It was much like my current life, except that this forum was a bit nicer.

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Open Bar: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

Started by Anna Mae Bollocks, December 02, 2013, 08:25:54 PM

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Suu

#330
December 13, 2013, 01:46:53 AM
I'm going to be in Florida in 5 days, and I have no idea why my parents insist on sending me pictures of this year's deliberately tacky Christmas decorations. I'm just glad my mom threw out all of the old broken blinky lights and replaced them behind my father's back since lights started showing up in stores in, uh, September. She also told him no more pink flamingos n the front lawn. So as a result, he retaliated the palm tree out front has 1000 lights on it alone. The pic they sent me is so bright all I see is a blob of light. To get dad back, mom put 400 lights on a 7' pine tree in the backyard without him knowing, then turned it on when he was back there at the fire pit last night for science.

Meanwhile, they had to put the vacuum cleaner next to the tree to train the kitten not to go near it. All they have to do is pop it on and he runs. My dad decorated the vacuum, so now it's actually part of the decor. No, really:



Oh, and rumor has it, he's included a ghetto in the porcelain village. Because a few houses have gotten broken over the years, so they got repainted...boarded up...and fenced off.

:facepalm:

My parents are honestly not this gauche normally, but at Christmas the game is try to be as offensive as possible.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#331
December 13, 2013, 01:59:53 AM
That is special, Suu.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Suu

#332
December 13, 2013, 02:09:13 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2013, 01:59:53 AM
That is special, Suu.

We've always been *that* house on the block.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#333
December 13, 2013, 02:21:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 12, 2013, 07:46:29 PM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 12, 2013, 07:29:35 PM
I have my dreaded chemistry final in an hour. I have done almost nothing for the last three days but study for this, and I'm still nervous as hell.

You're gonna kick that pig.

I think I did good.

We'll see.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Pæs

#334
December 13, 2013, 03:12:31 AM
Sweet merciful fuck do you SEE some shit when you close your eyes with a fever. I almost got a case of the holies but then I just felt really tired instead.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#335
December 13, 2013, 03:30:36 AM
Quote from: Pæs on December 13, 2013, 03:12:31 AM
Sweet merciful fuck do you SEE some shit when you close your eyes with a fever. I almost got a case of the holies but then I just felt really tired instead.

Wait until fever dreams. Hot damn.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#336
December 13, 2013, 03:35:31 AM
Quote from: Pæs on December 13, 2013, 03:12:31 AM
Sweet merciful fuck do you SEE some shit when you close your eyes with a fever. I almost got a case of the holies but then I just felt really tired instead.

3 ounces of Nyquil, and set a recorder next to the bed.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#337
December 13, 2013, 03:37:23 AM
In honor of being done with finals, I have eaten an entire crab and am well into a bottle of wine, which I fully intend to finish.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#338
December 13, 2013, 03:38:59 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 13, 2013, 03:37:23 AM
In honor of being done with finals, I have eaten an entire crab and am well into a bottle of wine, which I fully intend to finish.

THEN, WHEN YOU'RE DONE...SLEEP WELL, PORTLAND.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#339
December 13, 2013, 03:54:04 AM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#340
December 13, 2013, 03:57:43 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 13, 2013, 03:38:59 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 13, 2013, 03:37:23 AM
In honor of being done with finals, I have eaten an entire crab and am well into a bottle of wine, which I fully intend to finish.

THEN, WHEN YOU'RE DONE...SLEEP WELL, PORTLAND.



Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Suu

#341
December 13, 2013, 03:59:16 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 13, 2013, 03:30:36 AM
Quote from: Pæs on December 13, 2013, 03:12:31 AM
Sweet merciful fuck do you SEE some shit when you close your eyes with a fever. I almost got a case of the holies but then I just felt really tired instead.

Wait until fever dreams. Hot damn.

This. Holy fuck this.

Take care of yourself man.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Suu

#342
December 13, 2013, 03:59:57 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 13, 2013, 03:38:59 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 13, 2013, 03:37:23 AM
In honor of being done with finals, I have eaten an entire crab and am well into a bottle of wine, which I fully intend to finish.

THEN, WHEN YOU'RE DONE...SLEEP WELL, PORTLAND.



:aaa:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#343
December 13, 2013, 04:59:41 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 13, 2013, 03:38:59 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 13, 2013, 03:37:23 AM
In honor of being done with finals, I have eaten an entire crab and am well into a bottle of wine, which I fully intend to finish.

THEN, WHEN YOU'RE DONE...SLEEP WELL, PORTLAND.



:lulz:

Since BF is stuck in Phoenix, I've been cruising OK Cupid for funny shit. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/blazerzr2003?cf=visitors

What is uuuup with that wall of text?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cain

#344
December 13, 2013, 08:17:50 AM
Quote from: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies on December 13, 2013, 03:30:36 AM
Quote from: Pæs on December 13, 2013, 03:12:31 AM
Sweet merciful fuck do you SEE some shit when you close your eyes with a fever. I almost got a case of the holies but then I just felt really tired instead.

Wait until fever dreams. Hot damn.

Hell yeah.  I can even tell I'm coming down with a fever before the symptoms start because my dreams start getting screwy.
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