Open Bar: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I was Cleopatra in a past life. It was very traumatic, which is why I have so many cats now. They are my totem and my spirit guide. When I pet one, I see visions of my former existences and we exchange prana. It's very powerful and fulfilling. It's helping me in my penance for all the horrible, slutty things I did when I was the Queen of the Nile.

I was also Cleopatra, but in a different universe.

Did you have wings? I totally had wings. And they sparkled.

I didn't have wings, but I worshipped Loki.  Because of course Cleopatra would worship Loki.

OMG. That is so totes a great insight. She SO would. I think I'm having flashbacks to that life . . . such strong visuals of chaos and pain. Yes, yes. Definitely a strong Loki vibe. He was the blind one, right?

I think he was Irish.

Ooooooh. That's why he wore green, right? Like in the movie? Wow. It's so great of them to carry that sort of thing through. It really connects the mythology to the modern day, doesn't it?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There is a note at the bottom of our schedule. "Everyone MUST come in or stay late when needed or asked." Tee-hee.

"Your personal life is of no value."

Find a new job if you can.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

He always carried his Lucky Charms^(TM).

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was Cleopatra in a past life. It was very traumatic, which is why I have so many cats now. They are my totem and my spirit guide. When I pet one, I see visions of my former existences and we exchange prana. It's very powerful and fulfilling. It's helping me in my penance for all the horrible, slutty things I did when I was the Queen of the Nile.

I was a hod-carrier.  Like 30 times.  I am the statistically-normal reincarnation.

Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant.

Apparently, I was an animal until this life. Yep. A reliable source says my deep-seated hatred for humanity comes from the fact that I was a dog or a bird or a baby seal in every previous life, aeons back until this time. When apparently I fucked up being a vole so bad, I was made a human because how hard could that be?

Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant

[LMNO]

I was Cleopatra in a past life. It was very traumatic, which is why I have so many cats now. They are my totem and my spirit guide. When I pet one, I see visions of my former existences and we exchange prana. It's very powerful and fulfilling. It's helping me in my penance for all the horrible, slutty things I did when I was the Queen of the Nile.

I was also Cleopatra, but in a different universe.

Did you have wings? I totally had wings. And they sparkled.

I didn't have wings, but I worshipped Loki.  Because of course Cleopatra would worship Loki.

OMG. That is so totes a great insight. She SO would. I think I'm having flashbacks to that life . . . such strong visuals of chaos and pain. Yes, yes. Definitely a strong Loki vibe. He was the blind one, right?

I think he was Irish.

Ooooooh. That's why he wore green, right? Like in the movie? Wow. It's so great of them to carry that sort of thing through. It really connects the mythology to the modern day, doesn't it?

I object to the term "mythology" as it implies that our Earth Mother Loki doesn't actually exist.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

There is a note at the bottom of our schedule. "Everyone MUST come in or stay late when needed or asked." Tee-hee.

"Your personal life is of no value."

Find a new job if you can.

Yeah.

"ALL YR ASSES IS BELONG TO US. DERP. EVERONE MUST WERK WHEN WE SAYS OR YUO CULD LOOSE YR JERB"

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

CPD HAS POWERFUL SPIRIT GUIDES. THEY TELL HER EVERYTHING.

I could teach you, you know. It's really not that hard. It mean, I have a certain natural talent for this sort of thing, you know. A long family history of authentic paganism and all that. But I'm totally willing to share what I know. I mean, like, that's really what this is all about, right? Like, sharing and being one with the people and totally helping the less wake people, like, wake up and, you know, really KNOW themselves?

I think it's a calling. Like the Goddess . . . or at least A Goddess . . . has, like, put her hand on me, and totally given me this task. And, like, I'm so ready to help. So if you have any questions, just, you know, go ahead and ask. If I'm not here to answer right away, one of my cats is usually sleeping the keyboard and they'll totally tell me if your question is important and needs answering super quick.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

There is a note at the bottom of our schedule. "Everyone MUST come in or stay late when needed or asked." Tee-hee.

"Your personal life is of no value."

Find a new job if you can.

Yup. I got that message loud and clear. Looking as we speak.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

CPD HAS POWERFUL SPIRIT GUIDES. THEY TELL HER EVERYTHING.

I could teach you, you know. It's really not that hard. It mean, I have a certain natural talent for this sort of thing, you know. A long family history of authentic paganism and all that. But I'm totally willing to share what I know. I mean, like, that's really what this is all about, right? Like, sharing and being one with the people and totally helping the less wake people, like, wake up and, you know, really KNOW themselves?

I think it's a calling. Like the Goddess . . . or at least A Goddess . . . has, like, put her hand on me, and totally given me this task. And, like, I'm so ready to help. So if you have any questions, just, you know, go ahead and ask. If I'm not here to answer right away, one of my cats is usually sleeping the keyboard and they'll totally tell me if your question is important and needs answering super quick.

Then when someone asks, you say "I don't have time to teach neophytes.  Go read up on the sacred texts."

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I was Cleopatra in a past life. It was very traumatic, which is why I have so many cats now. They are my totem and my spirit guide. When I pet one, I see visions of my former existences and we exchange prana. It's very powerful and fulfilling. It's helping me in my penance for all the horrible, slutty things I did when I was the Queen of the Nile.

I was a hod-carrier.  Like 30 times.  I am the statistically-normal reincarnation.

Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant, Peasant.

Apparently, I was an animal until this life. Yep. A reliable source says my deep-seated hatred for humanity comes from the fact that I was a dog or a bird or a baby seal in every previous life, aeons back until this time. When apparently I fucked up being a vole so bad, I was made a human because how hard could that be?

Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant, Pheasant

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

CPD HAS POWERFUL SPIRIT GUIDES. THEY TELL HER EVERYTHING.

I could teach you, you know. It's really not that hard. It mean, I have a certain natural talent for this sort of thing, you know. A long family history of authentic paganism and all that. But I'm totally willing to share what I know. I mean, like, that's really what this is all about, right? Like, sharing and being one with the people and totally helping the less wake people, like, wake up and, you know, really KNOW themselves?

I think it's a calling. Like the Goddess . . . or at least A Goddess . . . has, like, put her hand on me, and totally given me this task. And, like, I'm so ready to help. So if you have any questions, just, you know, go ahead and ask. If I'm not here to answer right away, one of my cats is usually sleeping the keyboard and they'll totally tell me if your question is important and needs answering super quick.

Then when someone asks, you say "I don't have time to teach neophytes.  Go read up on the sacred texts."

Well . . . I mean if it isn't an important question . . .

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

CPD HAS POWERFUL SPIRIT GUIDES. THEY TELL HER EVERYTHING.

I could teach you, you know. It's really not that hard. It mean, I have a certain natural talent for this sort of thing, you know. A long family history of authentic paganism and all that. But I'm totally willing to share what I know. I mean, like, that's really what this is all about, right? Like, sharing and being one with the people and totally helping the less wake people, like, wake up and, you know, really KNOW themselves?

I think it's a calling. Like the Goddess . . . or at least A Goddess . . . has, like, put her hand on me, and totally given me this task. And, like, I'm so ready to help. So if you have any questions, just, you know, go ahead and ask. If I'm not here to answer right away, one of my cats is usually sleeping the keyboard and they'll totally tell me if your question is important and needs answering super quick.

You need a YOUTUBE CHANNEL and a FACEBOOK PAGE and a BOOK and a WEBSITE WHERE YOU SELL YOUR TEACHINGS.

I suggest:

LESSON 1: Breathe $250
LESSON 2: Shit you make up is real $250
LESSON 3: Facts are lies $250
LESSON 4: People who point out mistakes are MEAN and RUDE $250
LESSON 5: How to glue glitter on your cards $250
LESSON 6: Cultural appropriation is GOOD: How to steal from various groups without actually learning anything $250
LESSON 7: People of color are Gypsy scam artists $250
LESSON 8: The Look: Disguising elbow flaps with kaftans and shawls
LESSON 9: Make and sell oracle cards like this!



$250

LESSON 10: Crying to admins $250

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Well SOMEBODY needs to DIAF for doing this. http://creemmag.com/

I don't understand it, at all. Whaaaat?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Making Gumbo for dinner.

Bastard.

DOUR,
Can't have no fucking gumbo.

I make a killer totally healthful gumbo. In fact, gumbo can be crazy good for you if you just leave out the sausage; it's essentially nothing but fish and vegetables. Serve it over brown rice and bam, you're a health-freak's wet dream.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Board is empty again today.  Except for Obadai Grallspex or whatever his name is, and LuciferX explaining why woo > physics, etc.

So I'm going to go find something offline to do.

Sorry.  Lunch with Mrs LMNO, and then I had to revisit some of the LessWrong quantum physics sequence, because of that damn science fiction thread.

No worries.  I assume you're busy during the day, these days.  Cain's got shit on his plate, and Nigel is busier than hell.

Everyone else, though, has fucked off to Facebook to share and Like, because they care.  Most people won't bother to share or repost, you know.  It's a well-known fact.

I checked in here briefly, then I fucked off to facebook to make sure one of my groups wasn't getting infested with INTUITIVE PAGAN, then I came back.

Bring the "intuitive pagans" here.   

I've never heard that term, but I already know what it means:  Even the ridiculous forms of neo-paganism thrown off in favor of flat-out, unadorned wish-fulfillment fantasy.

Please yes do. I am ever so interested in hearing what enlightenment my intuitive brothers and sisters bring to the butcher table. Oh my yes.

This just in : My newer-than-new boss just fired 2/3 rds of the staff.  I am closing forever. Hehehehe. HAHAHAHAA.

Your place of work is an ongoing trainwreck that never fails to amaze.

Did they at least get rid of that one shitty, lazy coworker who lies? Or is she long gone?