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Relax Kiddies, Santa Is White. And, So Was Jesus

Started by hooplala, December 12, 2013, 08:07:17 PM

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hooplala

December 12, 2013, 08:07:17 PM
So says Megyn Kelly from Fox News... because you know, there were so many honkies hanging out in the Middle East 2000 years ago...


"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

LMNO

#1
December 12, 2013, 08:09:16 PM
WAR ON CHRIST-MAS.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
December 12, 2013, 08:09:59 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on December 12, 2013, 08:07:17 PM
So says Megyn Kelly from Fox News... because you know, there were so many honkies hanging out in the Middle East 2000 years ago...

I have it on good authority that Jesus was a blond man with milky white skin.  In a desert.

I have been in that exact same stretch of desert, and I can tell you that it's a good thing he WAS Jesus, because SPF1000 wasn't available at the time, and he would have cooked to a teensy little cinder.

So there you have it.  Albino messiah.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hooplala

#3
December 12, 2013, 08:11:38 PM
AND, I AIN'T CIRCUMCISED, NEITHER.
                                     \
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
December 12, 2013, 08:12:15 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on December 12, 2013, 08:11:38 PM
AND, I AIN'T CIRCUMCISED, NEITHER.
                                     \


:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pæs

#5
December 12, 2013, 08:15:46 PM
YOU CAN'T TAKE FACTS AND TRY TO CHANGE THEM TO FIT A POLITICAL AGENDA.

von

#6
December 12, 2013, 08:30:55 PM
Jesus is an obvious jew, however, santa is more ambiguous...

If we go on literal St.Nicolas, he's a greek...so, a mediterranian.

However, if we look at santa's characteristics, then it's quite obvious that we're dealing with a christianised odin (guy who can look at everything in the world, rides a multi-legged means of conveyance, is associated with a winter festival in which things are hung on a tree, and is known for inventing/being the epitome of gift-giving customs). In this, if we were to assume that people-groups anthropomorphise their gods, santa, being odin "christed over", is certainly white.

hooplala

#7
December 12, 2013, 08:33:41 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:30:55 PM
Jesus is an obvious jew, however, santa is more ambiguous...

If we go on literal St.Nicolas, he's a greek...so, a mediterranian.

However, if we look at santa's characteristics, then it's quite obvious that we're dealing with a christianised odin (guy who can look at everything in the world, rides a multi-legged means of conveyance, is associated with a winter festival in which things are hung on a tree, and is known for inventing/being the epitome of gift-giving customs). In this, if we were to assume that people-groups anthropomorphise their gods, santa, being odin "christed over", is certainly white.

Santa was invented by Coca-Cola in the 1920s... he could be a bionic kangaroo and the kids wouldn't give a shit, if was handing out toys.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Anna Mae Bollocks

#8
December 12, 2013, 08:43:16 PM
JESUS HAD A BRITISH ACCENT. I SEENT IT ON TV LOTSA TIMES, SO I KNOW IT'S RIGHT.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

von

#9
December 12, 2013, 08:45:18 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on December 12, 2013, 08:33:41 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:30:55 PM
Jesus is an obvious jew, however, santa is more ambiguous...

If we go on literal St.Nicolas, he's a greek...so, a mediterranian.

However, if we look at santa's characteristics, then it's quite obvious that we're dealing with a christianised odin (guy who can look at everything in the world, rides a multi-legged means of conveyance, is associated with a winter festival in which things are hung on a tree, and is known for inventing/being the epitome of gift-giving customs). In this, if we were to assume that people-groups anthropomorphise their gods, santa, being odin "christed over", is certainly white.

Santa was invented by Coca-Cola in the 1920s... he could be a bionic kangaroo and the kids wouldn't give a shit, if was handing out toys.

"The night before christmas", which features the iconic santa figure, pre-dates the 1920s by nearly 100 years (published 1823).

Anna Mae Bollocks

#10
December 12, 2013, 08:48:13 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:45:18 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on December 12, 2013, 08:33:41 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:30:55 PM
Jesus is an obvious jew, however, santa is more ambiguous...

If we go on literal St.Nicolas, he's a greek...so, a mediterranian.

However, if we look at santa's characteristics, then it's quite obvious that we're dealing with a christianised odin (guy who can look at everything in the world, rides a multi-legged means of conveyance, is associated with a winter festival in which things are hung on a tree, and is known for inventing/being the epitome of gift-giving customs). In this, if we were to assume that people-groups anthropomorphise their gods, santa, being odin "christed over", is certainly white.

Santa was invented by Coca-Cola in the 1920s... he could be a bionic kangaroo and the kids wouldn't give a shit, if was handing out toys.

"The night before christmas", which features the iconic santa figure, pre-dates the 1920s by nearly 100 years (published 1823).

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

hooplala

#11
December 12, 2013, 08:53:39 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:45:18 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on December 12, 2013, 08:33:41 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:30:55 PM
Jesus is an obvious jew, however, santa is more ambiguous...

If we go on literal St.Nicolas, he's a greek...so, a mediterranian.

However, if we look at santa's characteristics, then it's quite obvious that we're dealing with a christianised odin (guy who can look at everything in the world, rides a multi-legged means of conveyance, is associated with a winter festival in which things are hung on a tree, and is known for inventing/being the epitome of gift-giving customs). In this, if we were to assume that people-groups anthropomorphise their gods, santa, being odin "christed over", is certainly white.

Santa was invented by Coca-Cola in the 1920s... he could be a bionic kangaroo and the kids wouldn't give a shit, if was handing out toys.

"The night before christmas", which features the iconic santa figure, pre-dates the 1920s by nearly 100 years (published 1823).

I think you'll find that the words "Santa" and "Claus" are never used in that poem.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Suu

#12
December 12, 2013, 08:54:58 PM
Fox News: Turning brown people white since 1776.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Ben Shapiro

#13
December 12, 2013, 09:10:18 PM
How long before MLK has blue eyes?

Nephew Twiddleton

#14
December 12, 2013, 10:47:48 PM
Quote from: von on December 12, 2013, 08:30:55 PM
Jesus is an obvious jew, however, santa is more ambiguous...

If we go on literal St.Nicolas, he's a greek...so, a mediterranian.

However, if we look at santa's characteristics, then it's quite obvious that we're dealing with a christianised odin (guy who can look at everything in the world, rides a multi-legged means of conveyance, is associated with a winter festival in which things are hung on a tree, and is known for inventing/being the epitome of gift-giving customs). In this, if we were to assume that people-groups anthropomorphise their gods, santa, being odin "christed over", is certainly white.
I didnt realize that youre wiccan
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS
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