I'm just going to leave this here...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The majority of Team Vodka only watched the last two Superbowls because of Beyoncé and Madonna.

Obviously, they LOVE kissing terrorists on the beard. Or just beards in general.

Team Vodka gets a break on account of the good work they do culling sharks in Montana and raising funds for needy Ru Paul impersonators.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

You can have a superbowl without GWAR, but you can't fuck a turkey pot pie before it gets cold.

And that's all the America™ you need to understand.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait. GWAR is more American than Superbowl. Only in the United States could GWAR be a thing.

I choose GWAR. And Swedish bikini team. A real red blooded American male wouldn't care what the food involved was.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

You can have a superbowl without GWAR, but you can't fuck a turkey pot pie before it gets cold.

And that's all the America™ you need to understand.

I can, however, have a Superbowl without American football.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wait. GWAR is more American than Superbowl.

Get out.  Pack your shit and get out.

Only in the United States could GWAR be a thing.

Germany.

I choose GWAR. And Swedish bikini team. A real red blooded American male wouldn't care what the food involved was.

You're not really serious about this sort of thing, are you?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

You can have a superbowl without GWAR, but you can't fuck a turkey pot pie before it gets cold.

And that's all the America™ you need to understand.

I can, however, have a Superbowl without American football.

There is no other kind of football.  The Canadians tried it, but they made the field too long and screwed up the rules.  Rugby is okay, but their halftime sucks monkey balls.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Wait. GWAR is more American than Superbowl.

Get out.  Pack your shit and get out.

Only in the United States could GWAR be a thing.

Germany.

I choose GWAR. And Swedish bikini team. A real red blooded American male wouldn't care what the food involved was.

You're not really serious about this sort of thing, are you?

Thothally serious, loik, shoor.

Air ye tellin' me loik that ye prefer a specific koined of berd fer food over tets?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wait. GWAR is more American than Superbowl.

Get out.  Pack your shit and get out.

Only in the United States could GWAR be a thing.

Germany.

I choose GWAR. And Swedish bikini team. A real red blooded American male wouldn't care what the food involved was.

You're not really serious about this sort of thing, are you?

Thothally serious, loik, shoor.

Air ye tellin' me loik that ye prefer a specific koined of berd fer food over tets?

AND UNDER.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

You can have a superbowl without GWAR, but you can't fuck a turkey pot pie before it gets cold.

And that's all the America™ you need to understand.

I can, however, have a Superbowl without American football.

There is no other kind of football.  The Canadians tried it, but they made the field too long and screwed up the rules.  Rugby is okay, but their halftime sucks monkey balls.

The only kind of ball for me is the base variety. Like I said, I find sports in general boring. For some strange reason, I suddenly took a liking to baseball, and the Red Sox in particular.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

So.... I do or do not want the Swedish bikini team to make me food? I like turkey and pot pies, but I don't want to find myself on a list. And I'm not entirely sure whether a red blooded American male prefers turkey pot pie or the Swedish bikini team. I suspect it's the Swedish bikini team, but I do have the EU problem.

This is why you are always going to live on the East coast, Twid.  Anywhere in real America, you'd be shot.

STILL DON'T KNOW APPROPRIATE ANSWER. SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM OR TURKEY POT PIE?

YES.

BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.  MAYBE.

WHICH ONE IS GWAR AND WHICH ONE IS SUPERBOWL? SO CONFUSED.

You can have a superbowl without GWAR, but you can't fuck a turkey pot pie before it gets cold.

And that's all the America™ you need to understand.

I can, however, have a Superbowl without American football.

There is no other kind of football.  The Canadians tried it, but they made the field too long and screwed up the rules.  Rugby is okay, but their halftime sucks monkey balls.

The only kind of ball for me is the base variety. Like I said, I find sports in general boring. For some strange reason, I suddenly took a liking to baseball, and the Red Sox in particular.

Well, the Sox make sense. I was working as a stock boy in a liquor store for a second job during the 2003 playoffs (to non-Americans, in the elimination process, it was Boston vs New York City just prior to Boston losing, and Boston was in striking distance of world championship, which we had not won since 1918. We managed the win in 2004, 2007, and 2013). The traditional rivalry between Boston and NYC in baseball energized me since I had a latent dislike for NYC anyway. I suppose that's why I can't get into other sports. The Patriots? The Celtics? The Bruins? Who is their nemesis?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

God, Twid, you might not even be a Bostonian if you don't walk around hollering about DA BROOOOOOONS.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

God, Twid, you might not even be a Bostonian if you don't walk around hollering about DA BROOOOOOONS.

I was born in Brigham and Women's. I work for Brigham and Women's. I will probably die in Brigham and Women's.

I'm a fahkin' Bahstonyin. I just don't sound it, or like hockey.